


It's Too Cold Outside For Angels To Fly

by lukey_irwie



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Christmas, Fluff, M/M, a two part one shot?, and i'm listening to him rn, ed is my love, fight me, if thats a thing?, it can get graphic at some points, its hella long, its sad at some points but ashton is really sweet to luke, mentions of abuse and suicide, yeah the title is from a team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 08:15:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 66,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3562613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukey_irwie/pseuds/lukey_irwie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton Irwin is a volunteer at a homeless shelter in London. On a snowy November night he helps his step father find people to take to the shelter and ends up finding this boy named Luke. Ashton thinks Luke is gorgeous and slowly falls for the younger boy but he knows he can't do anything about it.  First off, it's against the rules, secondly, Luke has been through a lot and a boyfriend is probably the last thing he's looking for, third, Luke probably doesn't even like Ashton back and fourth, Ashton is kind of still recovering from a previous relationship.  But what if Luke does like Ashton back, will Ashton admit his feelings or continue to push them aside?</p><p>Or the one where Luke is homeless and shaken by his past and Ashton is the human embodiment of an Angel who rescues him.  Luke starts falling for Ashton despite knowing Ashton would never love someone as worthless him. </p><p>Also the one where everyone can see Ashton and Luke like each other, except for Ashton and Luke of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the long ass Christmas one-shot I wrote. It's split into two parts bc it's so long. It took me a long time to write but I hope you like it. While I did write it for Christmas it's not strictly Christmas and has a whole plot line, just with some Christmas elements. Basically you can read it any time and if you did read it and left feed back it would be much appreciated. The second part will be up tomorrow. Thanks for all the reads, and kudos on my other stories, also shoutout to that one person who commented on my Halloween one shot! You are amazing. I haven't even read your comment yet bc I wanted smth to look forward to after I posted this (yes that's how much I love comments) but I still really appreciate it.

"See you guys later" Ashton says waving to his friends Derek and Jake as he exits the school.

Although Ashton is eighteen he's still in high school because he decided to take an extra year to get more credits.

A huge gust of brisk November air hits him as soon as he walks out the door and he shivers, mentally cursing himself for not wearing gloves. Ashton's still not used to the cold British weather and he doesn't think he'll ever be.

Ashton didn't always live in England, he lived in Australia where the weather is always warm, for his whole life up until about three years ago so you really can't blame him if he's still not used to the cold.

When his mother told him they had to move to England for her work of course Ashton was reluctant. He didn't want to leave all his friends behind and the only country he ever called home and move halfway across the world to some strange country.

Ashton soon realized that England actually isn't that strange after all, although the weather could be a bit nicer. Even in the summer it's always raining and all the beaches are rocky and the water is freezing not golden and soft with warm salty water like the ones in Australia.

Although the weather does have some perks like not having to worry about bugs the size of his face or snakes getting into the apartment. There's also this nice part of the year where all the bugs die from the cold and Ashton quite likes that.

Ashton also had no trouble making friends in England and the people are way more accepting of sexuality in England so Ashton hasn't faced any of the problems he did coming out in England than he did back in Australia. Sure there's the occasional remark from some dumb jock but those never phase Ashton and he hasn't been bullied or lost friends over it. Ashton's always been confident and outgoing so of course it was easy for him make friends. His school life in England is actually better than it was in Australia if you subtract the fact his best friend Michael doesn't go there.

Michael was the one Ashton was most worried about leaving as he and Ashton became best friends since their first day of middle school. Michael was the most supportive person of his sexuality, besides his mother of course, and he knows he'll be friends with Michael for life. They've managed to keep in touch through Skype, kik and social media but Ashton still misses seeing him in person. Ashton wants to go back to Australia sometime and visit Michael and his other friends but he wants to pay for it himself and as of right now he can't afford it and Michael can't afford to come to England.

Ashton also had a boyfriend named Damon who he also had to leave behind but they ended up breaking up just less than a year ago. It devastated Ashton since he was pretty sure he was in love in Damon and it really didn't make it any better that the reason he broke up with Ashton was because he was cheating on him and had been for months.

Ashton's not really sure whether he was more upset at Damon or at himself for not realizing it sooner. Although it's easy to keep secrets like that when you're on the other side of the world. Besides Damon got was coming to him and his plan backfired.

Kylie, the girl Damon had been cheating on Ashton with had no idea Damon was seeing someone and managed to get a hold of Ashton. When she did she apologized profusely and then told Ashton she'd make Damon's life a living hell and they've been friends ever since. Kylie also became friends with Michael and they started dating about three months ago and Ashton has never seen Michael happier. So really Ashton's relationship with Damon wasn't a complete waste of time, Ashton learned from it and got a friend out of it and Michael got a girlfriend.

Another reason Ashton is glad to have moved to England is because his mother is happier there. She got a raise so now they aren't struggling for money anymore and actually have a really nice apartment in downtown London. She also got a boyfriend, Brendon, who is a cop and although he has only been seeing Anne Marie for about two years Ashton still feels as if Brendon is his dad. Which is really not that hard to make up for as Ashton's dad left while his mother was still pregnant with his little brother Harry and has never even contacted them since.

Even when his dad did still live with them he had a short temper and would always yell at Ashton and Anne Marie and even Lauren sometimes. That would always Ashton upset Ashton as he's fiercely protective of his younger sister and he'd talk back to his father when ever he did. It probably wasn't the best idea as it only made him hate Ashton more but as long as Lauren was okay Ashton didn't care what his father thought.

So Ashton's definitely glad he moved even if he misses Michael and the Australian heat.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry I wasn't looking where I was going" Ashton says snapping out of his thoughts as he crashes into someone.

He looks up and into the eyes of Evan, one of the jocks who sometimes makes homophobic comments towards Ashton, and gulps.

Ashton isn't weak or anything, he's 6ft and has pretty decent muscles, not that he's trying to brag, but he's definitely no match for Evan who is 6'6 and built like a tank. Ashton's seen the injuries he's given kids whether it's one that's he's bullied or people he's checked in soccer games and Ashton really doesn't want to be his next victim.

"Fucking watch it next time, Irwin" Evan growls before stalking off to his jock friends.

Ashton lets out the breath he didn't know he was holding and makes a note to himself to make sure Evan doesn't try and jump him or anything because he never lets anyone off that easily.

Ashton finally makes it to his car which is in the back of the lot as he was late today because Lauren got some new makeup for her thirteenth birthday the other day and took forever to put it on in the morning. He ran into his first class just before the bell rang which wasn't really appreciated by his teacher but at least he was on time.

Once Ashton gets into his car he cranks the heat up on full blast because it's actually quite freezing and that's not just the Australian in Ashton talking. It's only November, Ashton really doesn't want to know what January will be like.

He turns on his stereo and flips to the weather station for a second to hear the forecast so he'll know if it'll be cold for the rest of the weekend or not. He groans as he hears them call for a huge snowstorm because driving in snow isn't really Ashton's favourite thing in the world.

Ashton's also worried about if all the homeless people on the streets will survive the night. He tells himself to call Brendon once he's at Harry's and Lauren school to tell him that he and the other cops should start going around and looking for homeless people to take to the shelter, if they haven't already.

Ashton started volunteering at the shelter because he needed community service hours to graduate and Brendon was affiliated with the shelter so Ashton thought it would be the best idea. Even though Ashton's hours are all completed and have been for two years Ashton still volunteers there. He loves seeing the smiles on the people's faces as he treats them like actual humans and the excitement in the kids as he reads them stories. He also loves listening to the stories the veterans tell.

The shelter isn't like a typical homeless shelter either it's actually quite modern and has separate quarters people can stay in year round and the dorms hold two to three residents. Each quarter has a different age group of people; there's one for teenagers, one for families, one for the elderly and one for the middle aged. In the centre of the building is the front hall which is a large circular room with facilities such as the cafeteria, or the library lining the walls. The centre also has therapy and rehabilitation centres as well as occupational ones which helps the residents get jobs or an education. Ashton thinks the centre is a great idea as it helps to cure homelessness by providing job opportunities and helps protect the residents from the weather and other dangers.

Ashton then hears the man on the radio say it's three o clock and he's snapped out his thoughts and turns the ignition in a hurry. Lauren and Harry get out of school at three thirty and with the traffic it'll take about half an hour to get there. That's if it doesn't start snowing on his way there.

He turns on the stereo onto his 'American Idiot' cd as he knows it'll be the only thing to keep him sane in the traffic before pulling out of the parking lot. Which is almost empty except for the cars of a few teachers.

He makes it to Lauren and Harry's school just as the bell rings and parks in his usual spot and gets out and goes to where he always meets his siblings. After a few minutes Harry comes running out looking like he just won the lottery.

"Ashton! Ashton!" Harry exclaims launching himself onto Ashton.

"What's up little buddy?" Ashton chuckles wrapping his arms around his little brother.

"Billy said it's supposed to snow tonight! Is that true?!" Harry asks excitedly.

"That's what the forecast said" Ashton says.

"Do you think if it does I could invite Jacob over tomorrow and we could go sledding?" Harry asks, referring to one of the boys his age he befriended in the homeless shelter.

"If it's fine with mum and his mum then yes" Ashton says.

"And can I come with you to the shelter today too? We went to the library today and I got this really cool dinosaur book I wanna show Jacob and we also made cookies and I saved some for him!" Harry exclaims.

"Of course you can bud, do you know if Lauren's going too?" Ashton asks.

"I don't know, she's been ignoring me all day as usual, but she'll probably want to see Stacy" Harry replies.

"Now why would she be ignoring you?" Ashton asks.

"Because I embarrass her in front of her friends" Harry shrugs.

"How could you be embarrassing? You're adorable" Ashton says.

"I am not" Harry mutters trying to act tough.

"You are so" Ashton chuckles ruffling Harry's hair "where's your hat?" Ashton asks remembering that Harry had been wearing it that morning.

"Oh crap!" Harry exclaims "I left in in the school!"

"Well go get it then" Ashton chuckles and Harry runs back into the school almost knocking into Lauren who was coming out the doors.

Lauren wasn't alone however and she wasn't just with anyone but with a boy.

"I gotta go or else I'll miss my bus but see you later Lauren!" The boy says, he looks like he's going to give a Lauren a hug but once he notices Ashton he backs away.

"Bye Jason, see you Monday!" Lauren says to the boy.

Once he's on the bus Lauren turns to Ashton and glares at him.

"Do you have to ruin everything?!" She exclaims.

"Yep it's my specialty" Ashton's retorts.

"Ugh you and Harry are the reason I'll never have a boyfriend" Lauren growls.

"Oh I'm sure we're not the only reason" Ashton quips.

"Ashton!" Lauren exclaims hitting Ashton on the chest.

"Okay I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Ashton apologizes "but really Laur, don't you think you're too young to have a boyfriend? You're thirteen, and just recently too".

"And you were fourteen when you got your first one, that's only a year's difference" Lauren says.

"Well when you're that young one year is a huge difference. At least wait until high school" Ashton says "actually wait don't, high school boys are trash, wait until you're out of school fully. That includes college and university too".

"Ugh you're so overprotective it's suffocating" Lauren grumbles

"Hey I just don't want you to get hurt like mum did. Or I did." Ashton says.

"I know" Lauren sighs "and it's great that you care but I know what I deserve. I won't pick a jerk."

"That's what I thought with Damon and I'm sure mum thought that with dad" Ashton says.

"Yeah but now mum's really happy with Brendon and you... well you'll find someone eventually" Lauren says in mock reassurance and pats Ashton's arm.

"The only reason I'm not dating anyone is because I don't want to" Ashton says.

"Yeah because Damon broke your heart so bad? It's been a year Ash, get over it. I'm sorry that was mean" Lauren apologizes.

"Don't be, it wasn't mean at all" Ashton says "I'm over him now but when I first found out I was devasted. It was the first time I experienced heartbreak and it was terrible. I don't want you to have to go through that, especially not when you're so young".

"Fine I'll wait" Lauren sighs.

"Good" Ashton says "If that Jason kid really is a nice guy he'll wait for you and won't pressure you".

"Yeah I guess you're right" Lauren says.

"As always" Ashton quips making Lauren rolls her eyes "come give your brother a hug".

"But the buses are still here" Lauren says.

"Just get over here already" Ashton says holding out his arms and Lauren rolls her eyes but hugs him anyways.

"I'm only hugging you because you're warm" Lauren says.

"Really? Because I don't feel like it" Ashton says "And why didn't you wear your new coat today like I told you? You wore it yesterday".

"Yeah and then I realized it makes me look fat" Lauren says making Ashton frown.

"It does not, why would you think that?" Ashton asks.

"Because Erica Evans and Olivia Jenner said it does and it's true" Lauren says.

"No it doesn't Laur, you're beautiful. They're probably just jealous because you're the prettiest girl in the school and now you have the best coat. Don't listen to them, they're just bullies" Ashton says.

"Yeah I guess so" Lauren says hiding her face in Ashton's chest to hide her blush.

"I left in the change rooms because we had gym outside, sorry it took so long" Harry says finally coming back out of the school.

"It's alright bud, but let's go now. Don't you wanna see Jacob?" Ashton asks and Harry's face lights up.

"Yeah I can't wait! C'mon!" Harry says running ahead.

"Be careful crossing the street" Ashton yells as Harry runs off to the car.

"Well c'mon we don't wanna keep him waiting" Ashton says to Lauren who is still clinging onto him.

"Ugh fine" Lauren says.

"Wow are you actually reluctant to stop hugging me? I should mark this down." Ashton says.

"Oh shut up it's only because it's cold" Lauren grumbles.

"Whatever you say" Ashton retorts.

"Well it's true, now hurry I wanna see Stacy. I won't hesitate to steal your car" Lauren says.

"You don't even have keys" Ashton says.

"Now I do" Lauren says before running off and it's not until she jingles the keys that Ashton even notices she's taken them.

When did she get so good at pick pocketing?

"Hey!" Ashton exclaims running after his sister.

\---  
When Ashton arrives at the shelter he parks his car in the parking lot and he's barely turned it off before Harry is jumping out.

"Slow down there, buddy" Ashton chuckles.

"No!" Harry exclaims.

"At least watch for cars!" Ashton says.

"I know Ash, I'm not a little kid!" Harry says.

"Yes you are" Ashton and Lauren say simultaneously but Harry is to excited to care.

When Ashton finally gets into the shelter he just notices Harry slip into the games room which is where Jacob and most of the other kids usually are.

"I'm gonna go see Stacy, see you later Ash" Lauren says before going to the library where Stacy usually is.

Ashton is about to go to seniors quarter where Carl, one of the veterans he helps that always has the best stories is but someone calls his name. He turns around to see Brendon in his uniform with a few of his cop friends and a couple of people Ashton has never seen before but judging off their torn clothes he can tell they're people Brendon and the other cops found while searching.

"I was gonna ask if you were going to look for people tonight" Ashton says.

"Well it's freezing and they're calling for a huge storm so we figured we probably should. We don't want anyone to freeze and we have a ton of empty rooms." Brendon says "there's still more streets we want to search but we figured we shouldn't keep these guys waiting any longer. We're going to back now and we'll probably go after dinner is served as well. If so do you want to come with us? We could always use young eyes and ears."

"Of course" Ashton replies "do you want me to show these people around?"

"Yes that would be great and get them registered too. Are Harry and Lauren here?" Brendon asks.

"Yeah they are" Ashton says.

"Okay I'll take them back to the apartment after dinner is served then, your mum has to work late tonight so she won't be home for dinner so I'll just get them McDonald's or something on the way there." Brendon says.

"Just wait until you tell Harry that. Snow and McDonald's all in one night. He'll be ecstatic" Ashton says making Brendon chuckle.

"Thanks Ashton, you're the best" Brendon says.

"I know I am" Ashton retorts.

"Don't be a smart ass" Brendon says "now come give your soon to be step father a hug".

"Woah step father?" Ashton asks "Did you and mum get engaged? When? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well we haven't yet" Brendon says "but our two year anniversary is in a couple weeks and I might happen to sneak a ring in her dessert or something"

"Really? That's how you're going to propose" Ashton says incredulously "that's so cliche, not to mention dangerous".

"Well I h.aven't figured out the details yet" Brendon says "but I know I want to"

"Well it took you long enough" Ashton retorts.

"Hey, I think two years isn't that long, it's pretty short if you ask me" Brendon says.

"Yeah but everyone knew you were gonna marry mum from since like the first month you started dating and she's been droppling hints for months" Ashton says.

"Hey I could not do it at all don't question my methods" Brendon says and Ashton rolls his eyes.

"Are you gonna go now or are you gonna make these poor people hear about you and mum for even longer?" Ashton asks.

"Not without that hug" Brendon says and Ashton rolls his eyes but hugs him anyways.

After Brendon and the other cops have left Ashton turns to the group of people they found. There's six of them; three appear to be a mother and her two children, a boy around seven and a girl about Harry's age, two others are old men and the other is a teenage girl around Ashton's age.

The girl has a lost look in her eyes and her legs which are only covered by a tiny skirt and torn fishnets are red due to the cold. Ashton doesn't have to guess what she is and he feels sick remembering what some of these people have to do just to get food.

Ashton shakes the thoughts from his head because he has to be positive to welcome these people.

"So my name's Ashton!" Ashton says trying to be as cheerful as possible "I have to get you all registered and then I'll give you a tour and show you to your rooms. First I should explain more about the centre and get your names though".

"Also I'm sorry you had to witness Brendon talking about my mum for five minutes" Ashton adds making the men and the woman laugh.

"I'm Bill" one of the old men says.

"Well it's nice to meet you Bill" Ashton says and the man shakes his hand.

"I'm Harold" the other old man says "but you can call me Harry".

"I have a little brother named Harry. He comes here quite a lot and he's actually here right now. I think he'll get along with your kids very well." Ashton says turning to the women with the kids who smiles brightly.

"This is Kyle and his sister is Lily, I'm Marilyn" the woman says.

"Well it's nice to meet you and your kids Marilyn" Ashton says politely smiling at the woman who returns it before turning to the teenage girl.

"Cara" the girl spits glaring at Ashton.

He's not offended though because he knows being rude is just a coping mechanism for most of the homeless. He also knows the girl is probably being rude because she hates men or at least strange ones for understandable reasons.

"Well it's nice to meet you Cara" Ashton says "and you look freezing would you like a blanket or something? You'll get new, warmer clothes once you're registered as well as a bunch of other things that come in your package".

Cara doesn't look Ashton but she nods "please" she mutters.

"Okay I'll be right back I'll go get it. You guys can look around the lobby if you want. It's not decorated much now but we're going to put up the Christmas decorations soon so it'll look a lot better." Ashton says.

Ashton quickly goes to the supplies room and gets a warm fuzzy blanket before going back to the lobby where the group is still waiting in the same spot.

He hands the blanket to Cara who hesitantly takes it before thanking Ashton.

"So first off as you can probably tell this isn't your normal homeless shelter. You'll learn more at the registration office, they're always better at explaining things than me" Ashton says and Bill, Harold and Marilyn laugh.

"So basically there are three main meals, breakfast lunch and dinner of course, but you can go to the cafeteria and have snacks anytime you'd like. Breakfast is served from 6-10, lunch is from 11-1 and dinner is from 5-8. As you can see there are many facilities such as the cafeteria, the registration office or the library lining the lobby. The rest of the building is the residences which are divided into quarters. One for the elderly, one for families, one for teenagers and one for the middle aged. You'll each get a dorm that you'll share with a few more residents up to two at the most".

"If you want to be alone or have any requirements for your roommates you'll be asked about that when you register, as well any dietary requirements like allergies. They'll also ask how much you get to eat in a day so they know how to adjust the amount of food you take in so you aren't over fed or anything but that's as personal as the questions will get. You can leave the centre anytime you'd like just make sure you sign out with the registration office and you can also permanently leave if you don't like it here but hopefully you do. There's a center with education and occupational centres that'll help you be able to move out of here and get your own homes but until then the centre is safe and will provide you with everything you need."

"I think I've covered everything but if you have questions you can always ask me or the registration office. You can also ask any of the other volunteers that can be easily distinguished by their uniforms... which I am not wearing right now because I haven't had time to change into mine" Ashton says making Bill, Harold and Marilyn laugh, even Cara smiles a little but she quickly hides it.

"The uniforms are all black though and have the last names of the volunteer on them. Does anyone have any questions?" Ashton asks.

"It's not about the centre but can I ask you about yourself?" Bill asks.

"Oh yeah of course" Ashton says awkwardly caught off guard.

"Don't worry I won't ask about your girlfriend or anything personal" Bill teases "it's just for conversation".

Ashton blushes at the word girlfriend because well he's never had one and he never will. It's always kind of embarrassing when people just assume things and Ashton has to stop from retorting with some sarcastic remark like 'I don't think you'll ever have to worry about that' because it would be rude.

Cara must notice something however because she raises her eyebrows at Ashton and he just shrugs. She seems less afraid of Ashton now probably because she knows he won't try and 'get with her' or anything and Ashton can't blame her for thinking that. You never know how strangers are going to act, especially male ones and Ashton knows she probably has a history of strangers or even people she knows being violent towards her.

"So how long have you volunteered here for? And what made you decide to?" Bill asks and Ashton was so caught up in Cara that he forgot Bill was going to ask him a question.

"Oh um..." Ashton says dumbly while he's still processing the question "well to be completely honest I started volunteering because I needed volunteer hours to graduate high school but I completed all those a while ago. I chose here because that officer, Brendon, is my mum's boyfriend and he suggested here to me. I just like helping the people so much here though and my siblings like visiting here and making friends with the kids around their age so I decided to stay" Ashton says.

"Well I think that's amazing, Ashton" Bill says making Ashton blush "most people your age would just walk right past someone like me and not even care. Maybe even spit on me or call me names".

"Well I'm sorry to hear that" Ashton says "I know how cruel people can be".

"Well not everyone is cruel" Bill says "whoever designed this obviously isn't and neither are you or the other volunteers here. Sometimes people would stop and give me food or even go out of their way to buy something. It's people like you that restore my faith in the world".

"Oh well thank you" Ashton blushes.

After that Ashton takes the group to the registration office and waits as they all talk to their own consultant and answer the questions. He then takes them on a tour of the centre before showing them their rooms which now have their packages in them and asking each person if they needed anything else. Bill asked more questions about the tour and talked a bit about himself and so did Harold and Ashton isn't surprised they got assigned a room together.

Ashton then showed Marilyn and her kids to their room and Marilyn thanked Ashton for welcoming them and the kids hugged him.

"So you're gay" is the first thing Cara says when it's just her and Ashton and they're walking to the teenage quarter.

"Yeah" Ashton laughs "I'd ask how you knew but I already know the answer to that so".

"Because it's glaringly obvious" Cara retorts.

"Hey! You didn't know until Bill just assumed I was straight" Ashton laughs.

"Oh no I knew all along that just confirmed it" Cara says "but it's okay I am too."

"Wow so you're actually capable of loving someone and you don't hate everyone? I'm shocked" Ashton teases.

"I don't hate everyone" Cara says "just straight people".

"It's hard not to sometimes" Ashton admits.

"Trust me it gets a lot easier once you accept the fact that you hate them all" Cara says making Ashton laugh.

"I'll keep that in mind" Ashton chuckles.

After a few more minutes they reach Cara's room and she turns to Ashton.

"Well I'll see you later Ashton" Cara says pulling away "you're not as bad as I thought you were".

"I could say the same to you" Ashton retorts.

"You could. But I'd beat the shit out out of you if you did" Cara says.

"I wouldn't doubt that" Ashton laughs.

"Are you gonna be in the cafeteria at dinner" Cara asks.

"Yeah but only in the kitchen helping out or serving food" Ashton says.

"Oh I didn't ask because I wanted to hang out. I just want to sleep but I don't want to miss dinner so I thought maybe you could get me, or bring me food." Cara says.

"There's only deliveries for the sick people, you'll actually have to socialize" Ashton says "and I have to leave early because I have to help Brendon find other people but if I don't see you I'll make sure to get you before I leave. And they always keep track of who eats to make sure no one skips meals or anything."

"Well that's good. Not the socializing part but the fact that at least someone will wake me for dinner" Cara says.

"The socializing won't be that bad, not everyone here is straight" Ashton says.

"So you're saying I could get a girlfriend" Cara says.

"I didn't mean that I just meant you could make friends." Ashton chuckles.

"Meh who needs friends" Cara shrugs "go now I wanna sleep".

"You know most people say goodbye" Ashton retorts.

"Yeah well you wouldn't shut up and I got impatient and I'm not like most people" Cara says.

"I can tell" Ashton retorts.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Cara asks.

"Whatever you want it to" Ashton says.

"You better watch your fucking back Ashton" Cara says before going in to her room and slamming the door.

After a few seconds the door swings open again and Cara sticks her head out.

"By the way I'm not pissed at you...yet, I'm surprised to be honest it's a record for me. I just thought it would be dramatic and badass to slam the door like that and it was." She says before closing it again and Ashton chuckles.

Ashton then finally changes into his uniform before going into the cafeteria kitchen because it's almost dinner time and they always need help in there no matter what time it is.

\---

It's about 7:30'when Brendon comes in and tells Ashton that they're ready to go, Lauren and Harry already with him.

Cara came by about half an hour ago complaining about how she couldn't sleep and really didn't want to socialize but she wanted food so she had no choice. Ashton couldn't help but laugh because she's rather funny even if she isn't the most positive person in the world and Ashton knows they'll be good friends. And with what she's been through he can't blame her for not being positive.

"Guess what Ashton?" Harry asks excitedly and as they're walking through the shelter to where the cops are.

"What, buddy?" Ashton asks.

"Jacob's mum said it's okay for him to come over tomorrow!" Harry says excitedly.

"That's great Harry" Ashton says.

"I can show him all my books and toys and maybe even give him a few. And we can go to McDonald's and go sledding and go skating at the rink downtown and get the hot chocolate there!" Harry exclaims and Ashton chuckles.

"Has mum said yes yet?" Ashton asks.

"Well no but I know she wants to meet Jacob and as long as we're not loud she'll probably say yes" Harry says "but do you think you could take us skating, maybe? Just skating because I know we can't go alone and Brendon and mum are working and Lauren is going to her friend's."

"I'll try to but I'm volunteering again tomorrow" Ashton says frowning when he notices Harry's face fall.

"Oh okay then" Harry says sadly making Ashton's heart fall.

"I'm sure if I explain to them they'll understand and if not I can take you guys some other time." Ashton says trying to cheer Harry up and smiling because it actually worked.

"Okay!"'Harry says excitedly again.

They've reached Brendon's car by now and Harry calls shotgun so Lauren and Ashton have to sit in the back. They're taking Brendon's cop car because as soon as he drops off Harry and Lauren at home he and Ashton are going to find more people to take to the shelter.

"That's not fair! He's not even old enough to sit in the front!" Lauren complains.

"Well I can make exceptions" Brendon says.

"So I have to sit where murderers could've sat?!" Lauren exclaims.

"You should get used to having to sit back here because we all know you'll have to a lot in the future" Ashton says.

"Ashton!" Lauren exclaims "Brendon, don't make me sit with him!"

"It's not like you haven't before and wouldn't you rather sit there than your poor innocent little brother?" Brendon says.

"Ugh I hate you all!" Lauren grumbles.

\---  
Ashton rubs his hands together trying to keep them warm as they're still freezing despite the fact he's wearing gloves. He got them quickly when Brendon took Lauren and Harry back to the apartment and he could only find thin ones that barely help at all.

He's only been out here for about a couple hours helping Brendon and the cops look for homeless people and he's already freezing and wants to go back to the warmth and comfort of the shelter or his home. He can't even imagine living in these conditions and he's so glad to be a part of the shelter that rescues people from this.

They only had a few more streets to check that night and they're now on the last one and there are no signs of anyone. Ashton doesn't know whether that's relieving or not.

Ashton is so wrapped in his thoughts that when he feels a hand on his shoulder it startles him and he jumps.

"There's no signs of anyone and it's getting late, we're almost at the end of this street so I want you to just check the rest of it while we double check where we've already been" Brendon says.

"Okay I will" Ashton nods before descending down the rest of the street with his flashlight in hand. He checks the alleyways not finding anyone and he's just now approaching the final alley.

It's just like any other alley and he sees no signs of anyone and is about to turn around and go back when he hears something. It sounds like sniffling and he only heard it once and then everything is silent again so he thinks he's imagining it. However he hears it again about a minute later. He shines his flashlight down the alley and he still doesn't see anyone. So where is the sniffling coming from?

Ashton knows it has to be from a person, but where are they? There's nothing except doors and firescapes, and a dumpster he already passed and even looked in to make sure no one was there, and then the alley comes to an end at a wall.

He continues down the alley anyways not wanting to leave the person behind and the sniffles not only increase in volume but in frequency as well. Yet there's still no signs of anyone.

Ashton is staring to think he's gone crazy and is having auditory hallucinations when he realizes the wall isn't like he thought it was. He thought it just connected to the two buildings on either side but as he gets closer he realizes the building on the left doesn't quite meet up with the wall. The space between the wall and the building is small enough that you can't see until up close but big enough for someone to fit in.

 _So that's where they are_  Ashton thinks to himself breathing a sigh of relief that he's not crazy after all. Or no one could be hiding there and he really is crazy. Or it could be a lure and the space between the wall and the building is really a vortex to another dimension. And okay Ashton  _really_  needs to stop watching all those sci-fi shows with Harry.

Ashton quietly makes his way to the space between the wall and building not wanting to seem threatening and scare the person. He finally arrives and doesn't see anyone at first but when he shines his flashlight down he can just make out the shape of a person underneath a few blankets.

The only part that isn't covered by their blankets is their head and Ashton shines his flashlight just above them so he can see them better but not blind them. When he does he almost drops his flashlight.

The person is a boy,  _boy_  being the keyword. He appears to be around Ashton's age, probably a bit younger, although since he's sleeping and a lot of teenagers looks older or younger than they actually are he can't quite tell. Still Ashton knows this boy is young and it makes his heart ache.

It's not like Ashton's never dealt with younger people at the centre or is unaware that a large percentage of the homeless population happen to be youth. There are many families with young children at the centre including Marilyn and Jacob's families and Cara and Stacey are only a small fraction of the many teenagers at the centre. However Ashton's never actually found a younger person when he was helping Brendon look so it's still shocking.

Ashton's so wrapped up in his thoughts that when the boy sniffles again it startles him. Ashton looks down to see if the boy has woken up and he hasn't and Ashton sighs a breath of relief.

Ashton feels stupid when he realizes he shouldn't be relieved because it's not like this boy is just his friend he's trying not to wake at a sleepover. He's a homeless person that he has to take to the centre and he'll have to wake the boy in order to do so. Not only that but the boy is sleeping in the freezing cold when it's snowing outside which could give the boy hypothermia which would eventually kill him if left untreated.

Ashton knows from the sniffling that the boy is fine, at least for now and even if he does have mild symptoms of hypothermia he can be treated at the hospital. However if Ashton just keeps standing there that could change.

But how is he supposed to wake the boy? He doesn't want to shine the flashlight in his eyes or startle him. Many homeless people are weak due to malnourishment and if he suddenly wakes the boy and scares him he could go into cardiac arrest.

Ashton opts for gently tapping the boy and calling out things like 'hey' to get his attention since he obviously doesn't know the boy's name.

After a few minutes the boy wakes confused at first but when he notices Ashton his eyes widen in shock and he instantly recoils.

 _Well so much for not scaring him_  Ashton thinks to himself.

"D-don't hurt me" the boys voice calls out rough and cracked like many of the homeless people's are when they first arrive at the centre due to obvious reasons like dehydration and the weather conditions.

"I'd never" Ashton says having trouble finding what to say.

All the other times Ashton has found someone they've been awake and they've either been agreeing or tried to put up a fight. Sure there were a few times where people had been scared to go with him but they were never this scared or maybe they were but it just didn't seem that way to Ashton because they weren't as young.

"I'm- I'm Ashton" Ashton says mentally face palming himself.

Of course 'I'm Ashton' will make the boy realize who he is. He is the only Ashton is the world after all. Note the sarcasm.

"I work at this homeless shelter and it's really cold and I was wondering if I could take you there. Oh god that sounds that creepy, doesn't it. I just meant like- it's cold and I don't want you to die and- oh god that's even worse. I just mean-" Ashton stammers.

"I'll go with you" the boy says.

"Please, it's just it's really cold and I don't want anything to happen to you. I really do work for a shelter I swear and it's- wait did you say you'll go?" Ashton asks shocked thinking it would take more to convince the boy to go with him and the boy nods.

"Well I'm pretty sure if you were a murderer you wouldn't be stuttering like that." The boy says.

"You don't know that" Ashton says "it could be a lure. Okay I really shouldn't have said that".

"You're right you shouldn't have but you're lucky I can tell you didn't mean it" the boy says making Ashton laugh.

Ashton's about to say something but he's not sure what, probably just asking the boy's name or if he needs help collecting his stuff, but he's cut off by someone calling his name.

"Ashton!" The person calls and Ashton recognizes them as Brendon "you ready to go?"

"Uh yeah- I just-I actually found someone" Ashton stammers looking down at the boy who now looks just as scared as he did when Ashton first found him again, maybe even worse.

"Oh okay, well bring them over here" Brendon says making his way down the alley.

His footsteps are loud and the light of his flashlight bounces as he walks which only makes the boy even more scared.

"Uh Brendon" Ashton says "can I have a moment?"

"Oh um yeah of course, I'll be in the car." Brendon says and Ashton is glad he didn't protest or ask why because Ashton isn't really sure what he'd say.

'Oh I found this boy and I just managed to make him not be afraid of me but you came along and ruined it so fuck off for a while until I can calm him down'. Ashton would never actually tell his future step father to fuck off this is just a representation of how he has absolutely no idea what to say.

Once Brendon is out of sight Ashton notices the boy calm down a bit.

"I'm sorry if he scared you he can be loud and intimidating to people he doesn't know but I swear he's like the nicest guy ever" Ashton says and the boy doesn't respond but he doesn't seem as scared now.

"What's your name?" Ashton asks.

"L-Luke" the boy stutters.

"Well I'm- wait I already told you my name" Ashton says making the boy smile slightly.

It's then that Ashton realizes this boy, well Luke, is actually quite cute. With the way his flashlight is pointed Ashton can tell Luke has blue eyes, which are kind of Ashton's ultimate weakness, and he can see bits of blonde hair through the holes in Luke's hat.

Ashton shakes the thoughts from his head because he shouldn't be thinking about this right now. Even though a huge percentage of homeless youth are lgbt so it's highly likely Luke could be Ashton's pretty sure Luke has more serious things to worry about than some boy. Like you know, if he can trust Ashton enough to go with him and that he isn't a murderer. Although Ashton's pretty sure Luke doesn't think he's a murderer. But maybe he thinks Brendon is.

"Well um you heard Brendon we should probably go now." Ashton says "and you shouldn't have to be in the cold any longer. Would you like help with your stuff?"

"Please" Luke says "and thank you"

"You don't have to bring them if they'll give you any negative feelings, like not that they'd be cursed or anything but like some of the residents at the shelter just like to leave all their stuff behind and forget about their old life and sometimes having their possessions they had when they were homeless with them can cause them to have flashbacks and stuff. Others actually like to keep theirs for like sentimental reasons and others just don't give a fuck. Everyone's different though, I was just offering so you can do whatever you want" Ashton says.

"I think I want to keep them" Luke says.

"Okay well I'll help...like you asked me to five minutes ago before I started rambling. God I'm sorry, I always do it and get way off topic. Everyone tells me to stop but like it's part of who I am and I've got a lot going on up here and I just need to convey-" Ashton rambles before noticing Luke staring at him.

It's not a rude stare like an 'oh my god loser' look Ashton gets from a lot of people or a 'you can stop now' stare. Luke's smiling and seems... amused? Ashton can't quite tell but Luke isn't glaring at him or telling him to shut up so he'll take that as a good thing.

"Oh god I'm doing it again, aren't I" Ashton asks and Luke smiles even wider before looking down and nodding.

Ashton would probably notice how cute it was if he wasn't worrying about why Luke was looking down. Ashton didn't scare Luke did he? He probably did. The rambling always turns people off.

"I think it's cute though" Luke says and Ashton is thankful it's dark or else Luke would see the blush that is surely flooding his cheeks.

Ashton doesn't really know what to say that, well actually he does and there are a lot of things he could say. But they're all along the lines of something like 'well I think you're cute too' or 'you're even cuter' which would surely creep Luke out.

There is a time and a place for flirting and now is not that time, or place, even if Luke initiated it. Ashton mentally rolls his eyes at himself because,no, Luke wasn't flirting. He was just being friendly and didn't want Ashton to feel bad about himself. Ashton needs to stop reading into things to so much.

"Most people tell me to shut up or glare at me when I do so thank you for not doing that but we should actually go now we don't want to keep Brendon waiting for so long." Ashton says noticing the way Luke tenses up when he mentions Brendon.

"Not that'll he'll get mad or anything, Brendon never gets mad at least not with my mum and siblings" Ashton says and it's not really helping Luke calm down.

"Are you okay?" Ashton asks and it was a stupid question.

Luke looks like he's about to have a panic attack, of course he's not okay.

"Oh uh yeah" Luke stutters "It's just strangers kind of scare me especially men".

"But aren't I a stranger?" Ashton asks.

"Well yeah but- you're different, you're closer to my age and don't really seem threatening or anything" Luke says "and I don't know it's stupid."

"Hey no it's not!" Ashton exclaims "everyone has fears and everyone's fears are different and based off personal experiences and you shouldn't have to feel bad for being afraid of something".

"Thanks" Luke says smiling and looking down again.

"It's no problem, Luke. Now for real we should go" Ashton says before helping Luke gather his stuff which is just blankets and a pillow.

When they exit the alleyway you can see the cop cars lined up at the end of the street and Ashton notices Luke panic and stop walking.

"It's okay" Ashton says stopping beside Luke "I'm with them, Brendon is a cop and he and some of his other friends go around the city every year when it gets really cold and take homeless people to the shelter. There's nothing else's going on."

Ashton kinds of want to reach out to put his arm around Luke but he doesn't know if that would comfort him or make him even more panicked.

"It's not that. It's just cops kind of scare me." Luke mumbles.

"That's understandable, they're intimidating and have weapons and some of them abuse their power" Ashton says and that probably wasn't the best thing to say because it only makes Luke more worried.

"Brendon and his friends aren't like that at all though I swear. They're really nice and trustworthy and exactly how cops should be. They won't try to hurt you or anything and if they ever did, which they would never, I wouldn't let them." Ashton says and it calms Luke down a bit but not fully.

"It'll just be Brendon and I in the car and I know for a fact he would never hurt anyone unless they were endangering the lives of others. I can even sit in the back with you if you want." Ashton says and Luke hesitantly looks at Ashton and bites his lip as if trying to decide whether to go with Ashton or not, which Ashton knows he is.

Ashton can't help but notice how adorable it is even though he's trying not to think about that right now. He should be focusing on more serious things right now like Luke's safety and getting Luke to trust him. Which he is, but he also can't help but think of superficial things because Luke is just so goddamn cute.

And Ashton is allowed to find boys attractive, okay. It's been over a year since his last relationship and that ended horribly for Ashton so he thinks he should at least be able to admire a cute boy, okay.

Speaking of cute boys Ashton is snapped out of his thoughts by Luke calling his name.

"Yeah?" Ashton asks dumbly.

"I-I said I'll go with you u-unless you don't want me to anymore" Luke says and it takes Ashton a while to register what he said but when he does he immediately feels guilty.

"Of course I still want you to!" Ashton exclaims a little to enthusiastically "I was just letting you decide and I guess I just got too caught up in my thoughts. I do that a lot too. Basically I'm a terrible person to talk to and I don't how I have friends".

Ashton adds the last part to try and make Luke laugh because he would honestly love to hear that. Luke doesn't laugh however but he does smile, and bigger than the ones before and yeah, Ashton is more than fine with just that.

"I think you're easy to talk to" Luke says.

"Well that just shows how much you don't know me" Ashton laughs.

Just after Ashton has finished speaking a huge gust of wind comes and Luke shivers and pulls his hat down but his ears end up sticking out of it. As cute as it is Ashton would be a terrible person if he continued to let Luke freeze just because he thought he looked cute.

"Here take this you need it more than I do" Ashton says pulling his hat off and giving it to Luke.

He knows his hair is probably a mess now but he honestly doesn't care what he looks like as long as Luke isn't frozen anymore. Plus Luke doesn't comment on it or anything so it must not be that terrible or Luke is just too nice to say so. Ashton's going to say it's a combination of the two for the sake of his confidence.

"Oh no you don't have to, I'm fine and we'll be in the car soon anyways" Luke protests.

"Luke" Ashton says like a stern mother "it's freezing and I don't know how long you've been out but you look frozen. Not to mention you were sleeping which puts you at greater risk for hypothermia so please. Just take it and my coat and gloves too. I'd feel horrible if I continued to let you freeze."

"Don't feel bad and honestly I'm fine, you shouldn't have to be cold because of me" Luke says.

"Like you said we'll be in the car soon so I can last until then but I don't know if you can. And I really don't want to find out so please, Luke" Ashton says.

Luke goes to protest but Ashton is already taking off his coat. He sets it on Luke shoulders not forcefully or anything and if Luke really doesn't want to wear it he'll take it away. After a few minutes Luke eventually puts his arms through the sleeves and Ashton smiles.

"Thank you" Ashton says fighting the urge to press a kiss to Luke's hair.

It just felt so intimate and Ashton has done this a million times with Damon or other boyfriends he had and they had to him. For a second Ashton forgot that Luke isn't his boyfriend and that he can't kiss him whenever he wants.

"I could say the same to you too" Luke says snapping Ashton out of his thoughts for the second time in less than three minutes.

"Wait what?" Ashton says dumbly.

"You thanked me and so I said I could say the same to you because it's true. You've done more for than I deserve" Luke says.

"Oh" Ashton says "I zoned again I'm sorry. All I did was give you my coat because you were freezing and I'm taking you to the shelter. That's nothing, really, and don't think you don't deserve it because you do and you deserve way more than that."

Luke blushes at the last part and Ashton doesn't think he's ever seen anything as cute. Luke does that thing where he looks down again and Ashton's eyes can't help but follow Luke. When he does he notices the holes in Luke's gloves, his fingers that are sticking out are bright red obviously due to the cold. Ashton remembers he forgot to give Luke his gloves and immediately gives them to him.

"Here take these too" Ashton says handing the gloves to Luke.

Luke hesitantly accepts them before thanking Ashton and Ashton is relived when Luke doesn't protest.

He looks so cute in Ashton's hat and even though Luke is a bit taller than Ashton, Ashton's coat still covers most of Luke's hands, probably due to how thin Luke is from malnourishment but Ashton would rather not think about that. Ashton's gloves are just peaking out of his coat but Ashton can still tell they're too big for Luke's hands.

Ashton then realizes he just zoned out again staring at Luke for the third time in the past five minutes. He really needs to stop doing that. Luckily Luke didn't notice and if he did he didn't comment on it. Ashton hopes it's because Luke is too nice and not that Ashton creeped him out.

"Right well uh we should go now, for real this time " Ashton says trying to clear the awkward silence.

Which really wasn't awkward until Ashton made it so by stuttering like that. How Ashton makes friends so easily and they actually stick around he will never know.

When they finally get back to the car Brendon is on his phone, probably texting Ashton's mum and when he notices Ashton and Luke he looks up and smiles before putting his phone away.

"Luke wants me to sit in the back with him, is that okay?" Ashton asks.

"Of course" Brendon says.

Ashton notices Luke tense up a bit and he opens the door for Luke.

"After you" Ashton says and under different circumstances he probably would have cringed at how cheesy that was.

Luke looks at Ashton hesitantly for a few seconds before getting in the car and Ashton follows right after him.

"So I was thinking of stopping by Starbucks on the way back to the shelter would either of you like anything? Although Luke, you shouldn't get anything sugary I don't know how long it's been since you've last eaten but it's never a good idea to have a lot sugar if you haven't eaten for a while. It could spike your blood sugar." Brendon says.

"Just water please" Luke says.

"And anything to eat?" Brendon asks "dinner is over at the shelter but of course there's still food you can have anytime you want. I just thought Starbucks would better."

"I haven't been there in a while so I don't really remember what they have" Luke says.

"They have these boxes with fruit and cheese and stuff which would probably be best. They have one called the protein box or something which has eggs and bread in it. That would probably be best. You don't have any allergies do you?" Brendon asks.

"No and I'll have that please" Luke says.

Ashton notices how Luke doesn't argue with Brendon and realizes it's probably because he's afraid and it makes Ashton's heart ache a little. Although he is glad Luke will be eating and he'll probably warm up to Brendon eventually.

Ashton didn't like Brendon at first either when he started dating Anne Marie because he saw the way his father, for lack of a better word, treated her and he thought Brendon would just be a repeat of that. Ashton's glad he was wrong though not just for his mum's sake but for Harry and Lauren's sake too.

For the first few years of his life Harry never even had a father and Ashton had to be a father figure to him. Of course Anne Marie was a great mum but she had to work a lot to pay the bills for three kids. So Ashton kind of had to raise Harry and Lauren, which he had no problem with of course but he was still a kid himself. Ashton's glad his siblings now have someone older and wiser to look up to.

Ashton smiles encouragingly at Luke and he blushes and looks down. As cute as it is Ashton knows Luke does it because he's insecure and while it's unsurprising considering Luke's circumstances that doesn't make it any less bad.

Ashton doesn't know how anyone could kick their kids out on the streets or maybe Luke's parents died and he had nowhere else to go. Ashton isn't sure how Luke ended up on the streets but he knows he doesn't deserve it. No one deserves it.

"What do you want Ashton?"'Brendon asks.

"I'll just have hot chocolate" Ashton says.

"Okay well then let's go" Brendon says starting the car before heading to the nearest Starbucks.

Once Brendon hands Luke his food and water Luke immediately opens the water and drinks about a third of it. Again Ashton feels his heart ache because how long has it been since Luke's had water? Ashton doesn't think he wants to know.

Luke then opens the box which contains a hard boiled egg, some apple slices, grapes, cheese, a piece of whole grain bread and some peanut butter.

"You don't have to eat it all since you shouldn't eat a lot right after you haven't for a while since it can lead to complications. Just eat what you can." Ashton says smiling softly at Luke

"Okay I will thank you" Luke says deciding to eat the egg first.

Luke actually manages to eat the whole thing which reassures Ashton a bit. If he can eat all that then it means he hasn't been on the streets for too long, although any amount of time is too long.

\---  
"We're here Brendon says" stopping the car in front of a place called 'The London Homeless Shelter and Rehabilitation Centre'.

Luke is surprised by how modern looking the place is, it looks brand new, almost like a shopping centre and it's the size of one too. Luke was expecting it to just be some tiny crowded shelter which Luke wouldn't mind as anything is better than freezing on the streets.

However it's been a long time since Luke has really interacted with people unless they were store owners or people who would occasionally offer him food.

"I'm gonna drop you off here so you don't have to walk from the parking lot in the cold and then go park." Brendon says "there's things I need to do so can you show Luke around, Ashton?"

"Yeah of course" Ashton says "c'mon Luke".

Luke is grateful that it'll just be him and Ashton. Brendon has nothing but nice but Luke still can't help but be afraid of him. He's intimidating looking and Luke can't help but be afraid of strangers, especially men.

Ashton's different however, not only is he closer to Luke's age but with his cute dimples and warm hazel eyes Luke doesn't think he could ever be afraid of him. Luke doesn't know whether that's a good thing or not but so far Ashton's been nothing but kind and accommodating. Ashton's just one of those people you be comfortable with and trust right away much like Luke's friend Calum, but Luke would rather not think about Calum right now.

Nothing bad happened between him and Calum, it's just Luke wasn't able to talk to him since he became homeless as he obviously had no access to a phone or the internet. If he thinks about Calum then he'll start thinking about Australia and about how he's actually felt homeless ever since he moved away not just when he physically had no home.

Luke wonders what Calum is doing right now. Is he worrying about Luke? Luke knows he would've at least at the beginning but now he's probably moved on. Luke can't blame him. He's probably getting ready for university and still happily in a relationship with his girlfriend Ally.

At least Luke hopes he is, Ally is a nice girl and is one of the only people besides Luke who can calm him when he's out partying. Luke and Ally would be like a team and help each other take care of drunk Calum since it's a rather difficult task for one person and Luke became quite good friends with her because of that.

She, along with Calum of course, are only two of the reasons why Australia is and always will be his true home and Luke would do anything to go back.

However even though Luke has only known Ashton for just about an hour something about him still makes Luke feel at home a bit for the first time since he moved to England. And it's not just because of his accent.

Luke follows Ashton out of the car and into the centre which looks even more like a mall on the inside.

The front hall is a large circular room with different rooms all around it and there are also four hallways at each end.

"I know it's empty right now but it'll look much better once the Christmas stuff is up" Ashton says.

"I think it looks awesome, I really wasn't expecting this" Luke says.

"Yeah it's not like your typical homeless shelter" Ashton says "and there's a lot of things I need to explain and that have to be done before you can be assigned a room. It's only so you'll be as comfortable as possible though, but I should start explaining that now or else you'll be up all night."

Luke has a feeling he'll be up all night anyways with Ashton's rambling but he honestly doesn't mind at all.

"So first off you'll need to go to the registration office and answer questions. They're just about meals and stuff and like rooming requirements, nothing too personal." Ashton says.

"Can you go with me?" Luke asks not really wanting to answer strangers' questions alone.

Even though technically Ashton is a stranger he doesn't feel like one to Luke.

"Yeah of course" Ashton says smiling at Luke and making him blush.

Luke doesn't know why he always does it's kind of embarrassing actually. Ashton probably thinks he's weird for it, Luke wouldn't blame him. Maybe it's just because people haven't really paid much attention to him since he left Australia besides when he'd skype Calum and Ally. Maybe it's because Ashton actually treats him like a person which again hasn't happened to him since he left Australia.

It totally has nothing to do with the fact Luke might have a tiny crush on Ashton, okay. With his bronze curls, honey eyes and his smile that shows off dimples Ashton is quite attractive. Luke is completely allowed to think that he just can't let Ashton know he thinks that because he's probably not even gay and it would creep him out.

"Depending on how long it takes at the office it might be too late for me to take you on a tour but we can always do that tomorrow" Ashton says surprising Luke.

To be quite honest Luke just expected Ashton to take him to the shelter and just let him be on his own but this implies that he actually wants to be friends with Luke. Luke knows it's probably just part of Ashton's job to be friendly and show people around but he can at least hope it means something more, right?

"Also there are three meals; dinner, breakfast and lunch obviously" Ashton says.

"In that order?" Luke smirks.

"Yep" Ashton retorts winking at Luke.

And Luke thought he got embarrassed when Ashton smiled at him. He must look like a bottle of ketchup right now and while ketchup may be delicious Luke certainly doesn't want to look like it.

"Breakfast is from 6-10, lunch is 11-1 and dinner is 5-8 but you can eat whenever you want too as long as it's okay with the cafeteria ladies. They just don't want to end up feeding you too much because of refereeing syndrome and all. It'll be explained more at the registration office." Ashton explains.

"Also there are four dorms one for the elderly, one for families, one for the middle aged and then one for teenagers. You can have a room by yourself if you want to or have roommates and you'll only have one or two at the most you decide to have them. Again that'll be asked about at the registration office. Also we're not forcing you to be here or anything and you can leave anytime you want if you let the office know, but I hope you want to stay" Ashton says smiling at Luke.

Wait, did he just say what Luke thinks he did? He probably just has to say that to everyone it's not like he'd actually want Luke to stay for other reasons.

"Do you have any questions? I think I covered everything but I'm not sure. Normally I recite this long speech every time so I know I've covered everything and I look 'professional'." Ashton says putting quotes around the word 'professional' "I guess I just feel comfortable with you and I don't think you'd judge me or anything. But you probably are right now and think I'm a loser who doesn't know how to shut up, don't you?"

"Of course not" Luke says "I told you I thought your rambling was cute"

Luke really shouldn't have said that, that'll definitely weird Ashton out.

Ashton isn't creeped out however, or at least he doesn't appear to be. Instead he blushes, probably even worse than Luke, and it's probably the cutest thing Luke has ever seen.

"I just-I just thought you were saying that to be nice" Ashton mutters scratching the back of his neck.

"Well I actually think that" Luke says hoping it'll make Ashton blush again and he's successful.

"Right, well um" Ashton stutters "we should- we should you know. It's late and I don't want to keep you up late or anything so yeah. We should go to the office now".

Ashton turns around quickly and starts walking in, what Luke assumes to be, the direction of the office. Luke follows him although never really cued for Luke to follow him and Luke knows he definitely creeped him out. Luke isn't supersized but he wishes he could've at least gone a bit longer with out scaring Ashton. Like at least two hours.

The registration office is nothing special just a regular office. A woman with short blonde hair is sitting at a desk typing away at a computer. She looks up when the bell above the door rings and smiles brightly.

"Hey Ashton" she says "I see the search was successful".

"Yeah it was. Luke was the only person I found but I think it was definitely worth it" Ashton says winking at Luke.

Now it's Luke's turn to blush and he looks down embarrassed knowing he definitely isn't cute like Ashton when blushing.

"Well welcome to the centre Luke, I hope you like it here. I just have to ask you a few basic questions and then someone will be here to ask you more. I'm Mary by the way." The woman, Mary says.

"So first off what's your last name?" Mary asks.

"Hemmings" Luke replies.

"And your age?" Mary asks.

"Sixteen" Luke answers.

"Okay, thank you" Mary says before typing away at her computer again.

Luke looks around awkwardly as she does and meets Ashton's gaze who flashes that bright smile at him again. So maybe Luke's crush on him is a little more than tiny but can you honestly blame him? Ashton is gorgeous.

However Luke knows his crush will never be anything more and Ashton will find some girl equally as gorgeous and Luke will be alone. Luke's accepted the fact he'll end up alone and he's fine with it. Really.

Love only leads to heartbreak and Luke would rather be alone and content than sad because the guy he was in love with cheated on him or Luke didn't mean as much to him as he did to Luke. Luke knows Ashton probably isn't like that but he probably isn't gay either and even if he was there's no way in hell he'd like Luke. Why would he?   
Luke would only drag him down.

After a few minutes a woman with flowing long red hair comes out smiling brightly. She doesn't look very old probably only in her mid to late twenties.

Luke notices Ashton looking at him sadly for a moment but when he notices Luke looking he smiles at him again. Luke would probably enjoy Ashton's smile if he knew it wasn't so fake. Why was he looking at Luke like that? He doesn't pity him does he? Luke really hopes that he doesn't. That's the last thing he needs right now, especially from Ashton.

"I'm Amy" the woman says "I'm just going to ask you some questions so we know what'll make you be most comfortable. They're nothing too personal, although I'm sure Ashton's already told you".

"Of course I have" Ashton says.

"I wasn't talking to you" Amy says, although it's not rudely.

"Well then don't say my name then Amy" Ashton retorts.

"It's Miss Pond to heathens like you" Amy says.

"Wow no need to be so rude" Ashton laughs.

"I'm sorry about Ashton Luke" Amy says "let's go into my office and you can escape from him for a while."

"Actually you won't because he loves me so much he wanted me to go with him. So you're stuck with me. Don't act like you're not gonna like it. I am a great person to be around, right Luke?" Ashton asks.

"I guess, I don't really know you so" Luke says making Ashton's jaw drop just as he planned on and Ashton looks even more adorable like that than Luke imagined.

"Wow okay", no need to be rude" Ashton mutters.

"But there is a need to be rude because it's you" Amy quips.

\---

Ashton was right and the questions actually weren't that personal. The only one Luke found kind of prying was when he was asked his sexuality. They did it for rooming purposes but it still made Luke kind of nervous.

What if Ashton thought Luke was weird for being gay and didn't want to be friends with him? Luke knows Ashton probably isn't like that but coming out is still always frightening because you never know how someone is going to react.

Luke kind of wishes coming out wasn't a thing and if you like guys than you like guys or if you like girls you like girls and if you like both you like both and no one ever really questions you on it. Unfortunately the world isn't like that and if you happen to like the same gender then people either accept you, don't give a shit or absolutely despise you.

However when the question did come up Ashton smiled encouragingly at Luke as if he understood and had done that before. Luke thought that was ridiculous at first because he was almost certain Ashton was straight. He was just flirting with Amy, wasn't he, and even Luke can admit she was pretty.

However when Luke did tell Amy he was gay Ashton muttered same and Luke realized maybe he was wrong after all. Luke still thought maybe Ashton was joking though so he gave him a questioning look and Ashton just shrugged.

So Ashton is gay, but that doesn't mean anything. There are way better boys out there for Ashton than Luke.

"Here's your stuff back by the way" Luke says taking off Ashton's coat, gloves and hat and handing them to Ashton. "Thanks for letting me have them".

Ashton just finished showing Luke to his dorm which he has to share with some girl named Cara and they're standing outside of the door.

If this were some cheesy romance novel this would be the part where Ashton kisses Luke, which really Luke wouldn't object to at all.

"It's no problem Luke" Ashton says "I would say you could keep them because you look cuter in them than I do but I kind of need them. Besides you look cute with your hair messed up from my hat anyways"

"Oh um thanks" Luke says before looking down, he knows he's blushing again and he'd rather Ashton not see that.

"You want me to help you set up your stuff?" Ashton asks referring to the package Luke was given at the registration office.

"I'm really tired so I think I'm just gonna shower and go to bed but thank you." Luke says.

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" Ashton asks.

"Yeah" Luke says "I mean if you'd want to"

"Of course I would" Ashton says "why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know I just" Luke stutters.

"Well whatever you think isn't true. I think you're pretty cool and I'd love to be friends with you" Ashton says.

Luke's about to say something but he cuts hisself off by yawning.

"Well I'm not gonna keep you up any longer then" Ashton says putting his coat on "I'll be helping with the breakfast so just meet me in the cafeteria".

"Okay I will but it probably won't be until near the end of breakfast but bye Ashton" Luke says.

"That's fine you need your sleep and then when you're done I can give you a tour since I never got to tonight" Ashton says "see you later Luke" .

Ashton smiles before turning around and walking off but he only makes it about five feet before he turns back around.

"Oh yeah by the way" Ashton says "your roommate Cara might seem like she hates everyone but she claims she only hates straight people so you should be fine. Just don't wake hr when she's sleeping or anything and be careful".

"Wait, what?"'Luke asks.

"See ya later Luke" Ashton beams waving at Luke before walking away.

So Ashton just told Luke about his potentially psychotic roommate and then just walks away as if it's nothing. What an asshole.

Luke hesitantly opens the door and sees a girl with blonde hair and rather bold eyebrows asleep on the bed. Luke remembers what Ashton said and makes sure to be quiet as he doesn't really want to die right now.

Things might actually be starting to get better in his life and he wants to be alive to see it.

\---  
"Ashton" Harry asks drowning a piece of pancake in maple syrup.

He's been fidgeting and doing that for the last five minutes, although that is nothing compared to last night. He was bouncing off the walls and was still wide awake when Ashton got home which was around 12:30. Needless to say no one got much sleep last night.

Although you can't really detect it in Harry as he still has as much energy as ever. Lauren refused to even wake up and just told Ashton to 'fuck off' when he tried to wake her. She's such a wonderful sister.

Ashton kind of feels like burying his face into his pancakes, although he knows he can't. He has to go to the shelter today, well he doesn't have too but he wants to as he always loves going there. He's definitely not looking forward to it even more than usual just because Luke is there, nope not at all.

"Yeah, Harry?" Ashton asks.

"Can you take me and Jacob skating later? Mum and Brendon are both working and when I tried to ask Lauren this morning she told me to shut up and threw a pillow at me. And I think she's going to her friend's later anyways." Harry asks.

"Yeah of course" Ashton says not wanting to say no to his little brother even if he was looking forward to seeing Luke.

Maybe he could always convince Luke to go with him.

"We can go when lunch is over at the shelter" Harry says "and pick us up at the park because we're gonna go sledding there."

"And how will you two get there?" Ashton asks.

"Maybe you could drive us?" Harry asks "if we just leave right away you could get there before breakfast is over if you wanna help with that. Also I need an extra key so we can get in here".

"So you want me to pick you up here?" Ashton asks "or at the park?"

"Well I'm not sure" Harry says "probably here but if we're not here check the park".

"You're asking a lot of me Harry" Ashton teases.

"Sorry" Harry says looking guilty and now Ashton feels bad because he didn't mean to make him feel bad "we can always do it another day"

"No, no we can do it today I was just kidding" Ashton says "I know how much you're looking forward to this and I don't want to make you wait even longer. I'll pick you guys up around one-thirty, okay?"

"Okay!" Harry exclaims excitedly.

"And be careful at the park, don't talk to strangers or try any stunts" Ashton says.

"I know, I know I'm not a little kid anymore Ashton" Harry says.

"Sure you aren't" Ashton retorts.

"I'm not! I'm ten now I'm practically an adult" Harry says.

"Keep telling yourself that" Ashton chuckles ruffling Harry's hair making the little boy glare at him and smooth it out.

Harry finishes his pancakes in silence, occasionally glaring at Ashton the whole time. If Harry thinks this is going to make him look more mature it's not working. He looks even younger when he's trying to be mad and it's quite adorable.

"Finish your milk and then go get ready" Ashton says once Harry finishes his pancakes and still has a full glass of milk left.

"But it's not chocolate" Harry says.

"Well adults drink white milk" Ashton says "I thought you were practically one".

"You know I really hate you sometimes" Harry says glaring at Ashton but drinking his milk anyways.

"Now you sound like Lauren" Ashton laughs.

When Harry puts the empty glass down he has a 'milk moustache' and Ashton wipes it away with a napkin which only makes Harry glare at him more.

"I was gonna get that you know" Harry grumbles.

"Well I beat you to it" Ashton says. "Now get your coat on"

"I know to do that, Ashton" Harry grumbles hopping down from his seat.

Ashton clears the table as Harry finishes getting ready when Harry comes back into the kitchen. He's excited again and has all his winter stuff on besides his boots and his scarf, which he's holding out for Ashton.

"Can you help me with this?" he asks.

"Of course" Ashton chuckles helping his little brother tie his scarf.

"Thank you, now hurry! I wanna go!" Harry exclaims before running off.

Ashton chuckles and follows his little brother to the front hall where Harry has already gotten his boots on. Ashton puts his own boots on as well as his coat and hat before grabbing his keys and wallet. He catches a glance of hisself in the mirror as he does and yeah, he definitely doesn't look as cute as Luke does in his winter clothes.

"Lauren!" Ashton calls to his sister.

"What?!" Lauren groans "can't a girl sleep in peace?!"

"I was just gonna tell you there's leftover pancakes in the fridge and not to sleep in all day, no need to be rude!" Ashton says.

"Well you woke me from my sleep to tell me something I would've been able to figure out on my own so there is a need to be rude! Now just shut up and go already!" Lauren exclaims.

"Fine we will, we don't need you anyways!" Harry yells back at her trying to be tough.

"And I don't need you!" Lauren retorts.

"C'mon Ash let's go, I like you better than her anyways" Harry grumbles taking Ashton's hand and pulling him towards the door.

"Well I like you better than her too" Ashton says.

"I heard that!" Lauren exclaims.

"You're were meant to!" Ashton retorts walking out the door.

\---  
When Luke wakes up Cara is still asleep and Luke kind of wants to keep it that way so he makes sure to be quiet again.

He didn't really look around the room the night before but now that he can he realizes it's actually really nice. The walls are just a basic white but they have cool paintings on them and there's a nightstand next to each of the beds, which there are two of in this room. The bedding is nothing special just plain white sheets and a wooden headboard but at least with the white you can tell the sheets are clean. There are two closets as well a desk in one corner.

There's even an entertainment unit with a TV and a DVD player and when Luke checks the drawers there's actually some Christmas movies in there. Luke doesn't know whether they're Cara's or the they were provided by the centre but the fact that there are real beds and a tv alone is nice enough. It looks like a hotel room and not a shelter and Luke finds himself wondering how they can pay for all of this. Although Luke wouldn't even care if this place was a dump because anything is better than freezing on the streets.

Luke showers again and brushes his teeth before getting dressed, his outfit consisting of black jeans and a t shirt and a grey hoodie that came in the package he was given. He also puts on shoes and thick black socks that came in it as well and they feel like heaven. Socks might not be a huge deal to the average person but after wearing the same hole-filled socks for the past few months the socks might as well be laced with gold.

Once he's done in the bathroom he decides to unpack of the rest of the package which mostly consists of more clothes and toiletries. There's also a yellow envelope which contains papers such as a schedule of when the different facilities run and what each one is all about and a map. There are also winter clothes and boots and some miscellaneous items such as a water bottle or extra blankets.

Luke is just putting the last thing which is a coat in the closet when Cara wakes.

"What the fuck are you doing?! Who are you?! Why are you going through my stuff?!" She exclaims startling Luke and he immediately puts his hands up in defence.

"I-I'm not going through your stuff it's mine" Luke says "and I'm your roomate".

"Oh" Cara says calming down "well shit. I thought you were a worker here or something and were going through my stuff for some reason. Well I'm sorry, you probably think I'm a psychotic bitch now don't you?"

"Well Ashton kind of warned me you would be" Luke retorts and it was kind of risky thing to say but Cara seems like she'd the sarcastic type.

"Well remind me to kick his ass later" Cara says "you're not straight are you?"

"No" Luke replies.

"Well good" Cara says "I hate all straight people".

"Ashton told me about that too and I can understand hating some straight people but why all?" Luke asks "that wasn't too true intrusive, was it?"

"Nope not at all" Cara says "and the answer is simple all the one's Ive met so far have been assholes. The guys all try to get into my pants because they think they can 'turn me straight' and the girls treat me like shit they pick out from underneath their nails. If straight girls think you're one of them then they have no problem being affectionate with you but as soon as you tell them you're attracted to girls they're just as 'no homo' as guys are. Also my own fucking parents kicked me out for being gay, they claim it's because I smoked crack that one time and it was to teach me responsibility but I know the real reason".

"Well I can understand why now" Luke says "and I know it feels to be kicked out by people who claim to love you for reasons you can't control."

"Well fuck those people we don't need them" Cara says. "What's your name by the way?"

"Luke" Luke replies.

"Well Luke I'm gonna go have a shower because I look like a sack of potatoes and there could be hot girls here but will you wait for me? I feel like they'll judge me less if I don't go to breakfast alone" Cara says.

"Yeah of course" Luke says.

"Good by the way the beds are really fun to jump on if you get bored" Cara says.

"Okay I'll keep that in mind" Luke laughs.

After about fifteen minutes Cara comes back out also wearing black jeans but with a maroon hoodie and white shoes.

"Let's go" Cara says "I'm really looking forward to an actual meal"

"Do you know how to get there?" Luke asks "because Ashton hasn't given me a tour yet because it was too late to last night."

"Yeah I do. So you're getting a private tour, I bet you're excited for that" Cara says putting emphasis on the word private " even I can admit he's attractive".

"It's not like that" Luke blushes.

"So you're telling me you don't find Ashton attractive at all?" Cara asks.

"Well yeah, of course I do but" Luke says cutting himself off.

"But what? He's gay too so it's not like you have to worry about liking a straight person. I've been there before and it's terrible" Cara says.

"I thought you said you hated all straight people" Luke says trying to change the subject.

"Yeah well she was different, or at least I thought she was. Don't try to change the subject" Cara says.

"Well I'm sorry about that" Luke says "and as for Ashton I don't know. I just don't see why he'd be attracted to me, there are way better guys out there than me. Besides they probably have like rules against volunteers dating one of the residents here or something".

"Well I don't know if they do because last night was my first night here too but I'm sure Ashton would break the rules for you" Cara winks "and you seem like a better guy than any of the ones I've met and I've known you for like, not even half an hour".

"Yeah I guess" Luke says unsure.

"Ashton would be lucky to have you" Cara says.

"I don't know about that" Luke says.

"Well I do" Cara says

Luke doesn't really know what to say to that so he doesn't and he and Cara fall into a comfortable silence until they get to the cafeteria.

The cafeteria is bustling with people much like one at a high school would be. The only difference is that the people are of all ages and don't seem like they'd kill you if you tried to sit at their table.

The people at the tables have a variety of meals some being omelettes and fruit and other being toast and eggs, some people also have pancakes or hash-browns and pretty much any breakfast food you can think of.

"God I want to devour it all" Cara says.

"You know you can't have a lot right away, they'll probably give you fruit or something to start" Luke says.

"Yeah I know" Cara says "and I don't mind fruit, I'll take anything. You just think they'd be a little more considerate and like have a separate section for the new people so it's not like they're taunting us with all this other food".

"Maybe they want it to feel inclusive or something?" Luke says.

"Yeah I guess" Cara says "so do you have any idea what we do now".

"Well I'm pretty sure you just get in that line" Luke says.

"Well no shit" Cara says.

"Then why'd you ask?" Luke retorts.

"Well I just meant like after that, I don't know if there's assigned seats or anything" Cara says.

"There's not" Luke says "at least that's what it said on one of the papers".

"You actually read that shit"?" Cara asks "I didn't. I don't need papers to tell me what to do I can just figure it out on my own."

"Like you did just now?" Luke retorts.

"Shut up!" Cara exclaims hitting Luke's arm "I would've figured it out".

"Whatever you say" Luke retorts.

"You know what I don't need rude people in my life, Luke" Cara says.

"Because you've got enough rudeness and hatred yourself, right?" Luke teases.

"Yes" Cara retorts "now let's actually get in line and not just stand here. I bet Ashton's in there".

"Yeah, working and I'm not gonna bother him" Luke says.

"I'm sure he'd like it, you'd be like an escape from all the stresses of serving people" Cara teases.

"Oh my god" Luke mutters blushing "are you going to be this embarrassing all the time?"

"Yes and you'll love every second of it" Cara retorts "I can't wait until you guys start dating and you bring him back to our dorm. I will totally be the most annoying third wheel ever and interrupt all your makeout sessions and sit between you when you're cuddling".

"I wouldn't doubt that" Luke says.

"So you're saying there's actually a chance?" Cara says.

"What? No I was just agreeing that you're annoying" Luke says.

"I know what I heard, Luke" Cara quips.

The wait in line is only about five minutes but it feels like five hours to Luke with Cara's incessant teasing.

"Shh we're going in now, he could hear you!" Luke exclaims.

"Well good I want him too" Cara says before smilingly evil at Luke.

 _Oh god, what is she going to do_  Luke thinks to hisself.

"Hey everyone!" Cara exclaims cupping her hands over her mouth as people start staring and Luke knows exactly what she's doing "we've got an announcement for you!"

"No" Luke says "no no no no no".

He manages to bring Cara's hands down from her face and then covers her mouth with his hand. With the people staring it probably looks like he's trying to assault her something.

"She doesn't have an announcement, I'm sorry about her. She doesn't know how to control herself." Luke says and the people continue to stare for a minute before retuning to their food.

"If I move my hand, will you not shout anything else to everyone" Luke asks.

Cara nods and says something that sounds like a muffled yes and Luke removes his hand.

"Way to go Luke" Cara says "now they all they think I'm crazy".

"Well they probably all thought I was trying to hurt you them thinking you're crazy isn't my fault. You do that all on your own" Luke says.

"You're such a dick Luke" Cara says "but I guess you are what you eat"

"You know what I'm just gonna pretend like I didn't hear you" Luke says.

"Oh don't act like that wasn't the best joke you've ever heard because you know it was" Cara quips.

"I don't need to act because it wasn't and you're a pervert" Luke says.

"And I'm proud of it" Cara beams.

What has Luke gotten himself into? This is why he shouldn't follow pretty boys back to random locations because now he'll have to see that pretty boy everyday and know that nothing'll ever happen with him. And if that's not bad enough he's got a crazy roommate who will only tease Luke and probably drive Ashton away from even speaking to him. Not to mention Cara's teasing might seem harmless in nature but when Luke gets even more attracted to Ashton, which will undoubtably happen, it will only be a painful reminder that Luke will never be with Ashton in that way and Ashton will find a better guy to be with than Luke.

Luke is snapped out of his thoughts by someone tugging on his arm and he realizes it's Cara. Luke looks up to see that they're now entering the kitchen and when he gets through the door he immediately makes eye contact with Ashton. It's not even that Luke was trying to search out Ashton, really he wasn't, in fact he was trying to avoid him. It's not that Ashton did anything wrong it's just that Luke's with Cara and he doesn't want her to say anything embarrassing in front of Ashton.

But of course with Luke's luck he just had to make eye contact with Ashton at the first second possible. The universe must really hate him. It's not like he can just pretend like it never happened because that would be rude and would probably offend Ashton. And with that bright smile Ashton gave him and that cute little wave Luke really can't bring himself to ignore Ashton and take that away.

So somehow Luke feels himself walking towards Ashton, although maybe Cara is pushing him. All Luke knows is that he never planned this and his body seems to be doing the complete opposite of what he wants it to do.

"Hey Lukey" Ashton says when Luke reaches him.

At first Luke's too caught up on the fact that his body is doing things against his will to even register the nickname and when he does he blushes immensely.

"Is it alright if I call you that?" Ashton asks panicked probably thinking the nickname creeped Luke out.

Luke opens his mouth to say something so that Ashton knows Luke doesn't think it's weird. Luke actually quite likes it and is honoured that Ashton would even want to think of a nickname for him.

A nickname might not seem like a big deal to some people but just like the socks, Luke learned from being homeless that everything is a big deal, even the little things. It might sound ridiculously cliche but it's true. Any sign that shows that someone thinks of Luke as another human or even cares for him no matter how small it is, is and always will be a huge deal to Luke. And Luke really doesn't see that as a bad thing. It also might have a little to do with the fact Ashton said it to Luke, but that's not the sole reason, really it isn't.

Cara beats Luke to saying something however, which really isn't that suprising.

"Oh it's  _more_  than alright" Cara smirks looking at Luke.

Luke is just lucky she didn't say anything too embarrassing, although she's probably building up to it. It's  _Cara_  after all.

"So what was the announcement Cara wanted to make?" Ashton asks.

 _Fuck._  Of course Ashton saw that, of course he did.

"Nothing it was nothing" Luke says before Cara can even open her mouth.

He glares at her to make sure she doesn't say anything and she raises her hands in defence.

"Well okay then. Keeping secrets from me, I see how it is" Ashton says although from the way Ashton is smiling Luke can tell he's only joking.

"Are you gonna get our breakfast? Or are you two just gonna keep flirting with each other?" Cara asks.

 _Wow she really didn't wait long._  Luke thinks to himself.

"We're not flirting" Luke and Ashton say simultaneously.

"Yeah and I like dick" Cara says sarcastically "you two are even in sync. Just get married already".

"Here's your breakfast, Cara" Ashton says handing her a plate "move along now it's busy."

"Wow okay, fuck you too" Cara grumbles taking her food from Ashton and walking out of the kitchen.

From the way she stops at the door and winks at Luke, he can tell she's not actually mad. To be honest Luke would rather have her be mad than tease him about Ashton again.

"Sorry about her" Luke says " I don't know what goes on in her head and I don't think I want to".

Ashton laughs at that, well actually giggles, and Luke can't help but notice that it's rather beautiful. Just like everything else about Ashton.

"To be honest I don't know what is worse. This Cara or the Cara who wants to kill everyone" Ashton says.

"Oh I'd take murderous Cara anyday" Luke says making Ashton laugh again.

Luke could quite get used to this.

"Well here's your breakfast" Ashton says handing Luke a tray which has the same foods as Cara's did on it.

It consists of apple slices, cheese cubes, half a piece of toast, raspberries and a small milk carton.

"Thanks Ash" Luke says "wait can I call you that".

"All my family members do" Ashton says.

"Right well I'll see you later" Luke says awkwardly and he's about to walk away but Ashton calls him back.

"Luke wait!" Ashton says "about later".

"If you're busy then it's fine. I can just hang out with Cara" Luke says.

"No it's not that, not at all" Ashton says "it's just I have to take my little brother and his friend skating today and I was wondering if you wanted to go with us".

Is Ashton really asking Luke if he wants to go skating with him and his little brother? Why would he rather spend time with Luke than his brother? Why is Ashton so insistent on seeing Luke? He can see him any other day.

"Yeah of course" Luke says not being able to say no to Ashton, especially when he looks so hopeful.

"Okay well stay in here until breakfast is over and I'll find you" Ashton says.

"Literally in here or at a table?" Luke teases.

"Shut up you know what I mean" Ashton laughs "well I won't keep you from your breakfast any longer".

"Okay see you soon Ash" Luke says.

"See ya Lukey" Ashton says giving Luke another one of those cute little waves.

Luke is so far gone already it's ridiculous. This is like some fucking Romeo and Juliet type shit. Luke just hopes there's less death. Also Luke hopes Ashton doesn't start talking in old English sonnets that make Luke want to cry because he doesn't understand a word of it.

What did Romeo even mean with the rose quote? Why would roses be sweet? Luke's never eaten roses but he's pretty sure they wouldn't be sweet. They'd taste like pollen which is bitter. Wouldn't they? Do roses even have pollen? Why would Romeo even know what roses taste like? What kind of psycho eats flowers?

Maybe Shakespeare ate flowers. It would explain a lot. He was probably high on them when he wrote and that explains why he thought his books made enough sense to publish. No sober person would think oh let's make a story about two kids falling in love, having sex and then committing suicide within the span of three days.

"Luke?" Ashton asks snapping Luke out of his thoughts.

"Yeah?" Luke asks dumbly.

"You were just like staring into space, are you okay?" Ashton asks worried.

"Oh yeah I'm fine I was just just thinking about something" Luke says.

"Oh okay well if you ever wanna talk about it I'm here" Ashton says.

"Okay I'll keep that in mind, thanks Ash" Luke says before awkwardly running off.

 _Fuck_  Luke thinks to himself _fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_. Luke was just thinking about a famous author eating flowers but Ashton actually thought it was something serious. And he sounded so genuinely worried and concerned about Luke. He sounded like he actually wanted to listen to Luke's problems. And  _fuck_  Ashton just seems so sweet and caring and like he actually genuinely cares about people.

It's bad enough for Luke that he physically looks like an angel but the fact that he has the personality of one too? Luke knows this little crush he has on Ashton will be the death of him. It's way worse than anything he had to endure while living on the streets. Luke knows there's no way Ashton could like him back and how is Luke supposed to live knowing everything he's ever wanted and more is so close, but so far away?

"Luke!" another person calling his name snaps Luke out of his thoughts but this time it's Cara.

She's sitting by herself at a table in the corner and waving her arms at Luke.

Luke goes over to the table and sits down across from her.

"So what took you so long in there?" Cara asks smirking and Luke knows that only means one thing, she's going to tease him about Ashton again.

"Oh it was just really busy" Luke says before Cara can say anything else.

"You were right behind me in line Luke, don't give me that bullshit" Cara says "what did you and Ashton even talk about?"

"Oh just how annoying you are" Luke quips.

"And?" Cara asks unphased by the insult.

"Nothing else" Luke says.

"You're withholding stuff from me" Cara says narrowing her eyes at Luke "I'll find out Luke, I always do".

"Well you'll find nothing because that's literally all we talked about" Luke says not really sure if he should tell Cara that he's going skating with Ashton later because he knows she'll call it a date.

"So what are doing after this?" Cara asks "Is Ashton still giving you a tour?"

Luke's beginning to think Cara can read minds. He was just thinking about how he shouldn't tell her he's going skating with Ashton because she'll blow it way out of proportion and here she is. Asking Luke a question which he'll have to answer with by telling her he's going skating with Ashton.

"I don't really know about the tour but I am doing something with him" Luke says hoping Cara doesn't ask what.

"What?" Cara asks and this really isn't surprising to Luke at all but he was hoping that just once the universe would be lenient with him.

"He has to take his little brother and his friend and just asked if I wanted to come" Luke shrugs.

"Can you even skate?" Cara asks.

"Well no" Luke admits.

He honestly didn't really think about that. Ashton just seemed like he really wanted Luke to go and he could say no to that.

"So you agreed to do something you can't just because you wanted to go on a date with Ashton" Cara remarks.

"No it's not a date" Luke says "it just-"

"Two friends hanging out?" Cara asks finishing the sentence "stop fucking bullshitting me, Luke".

"Well then stop making assumptions about me and Ashton that'll never be true" Luke says.

"How do you know they won't be though, Luke?" Cara asks "based off the way he was looking at you in there I'm pretty certain he likes you back. So what's stopping you?"

"On I don't know maybe the fact that I barely know him? I just fucking met him last night. This isn't some bullshit movie where we fall in love on a weekend. Less than 24 hours ago I was living on the streets and everything has changed so much since then. I'm still getting used to everything and a boyfriend isn't my first priority right now" Luke says.

"Well I guess you're right" Cara says "I'm sorry if I'm like pushing things. I was homeless twenty four hours ago too and I'm still getting used to things. It's just for once in my life since I came out someone has actually talked to me and treated me like a person. And I know you and Ashton have went through similar struggles as I have and I just feel like I can connect with you two. Especially you Luke, and I know I barely know you but I know you've been through similar struggles than I have"

"And I know that I am not happy at all and I just want a girl that genuinely cares about me and doesn't just use me for an experiment. And I just I know you know like Ashton, it's fucking obvious from the way you act when I mention him. And I see the way he looks at you and I can tell he likes you back. Maybe it's just infatuation now but I could see it developing into something else. I just know that if I can't find someone to love me then I'd at least want you to. And I think that person for you could be Ashton whenever you two decide that you want it" Cara says.

Luke doesn't even know what to say. What does he even say in this situation? Cara, a girl Luke knows is going to become his best friend just told him that she's something between Luke and the boy he's rapidly developing a crush on. Not only that but she admitted she feels alone to someone she barely knows which is a hard thing to do. Luke can't even admit to himself.

"You don't have to say anything, I know you're astounded by my intellect" Cara says making Luke laugh.

"Thank you, really. I don't think I'd want to be roommates with anyone else because you seem like cool person and you seem like you car-" Luke says but Cara cuts him off.

"Whoa whoa whoa, quiet Luke" Cara says "I've got this reputation that I'm a heartless bitch who cares about nothing and no one and I kind of want to mantain that. I can't do that if you're just gonna proclaim to the world that I care about you".

"I'm not proclaiming it to the world" Luke laughs "I didn't even say it that loudly".

"Well you never know who's eavesdropping on your conversations. Look at all them. Pretending to eat, I see right through their disguise" Cara says.

"Okay Cara" Luke says shaking his head.

"Well I'm done now and it's almost ten so Ashton should be out soon" Cara says " I don't want to intrude so I'll go now and give you two love birds some space. Let you actually eat your breakfast. I'll probably go watch some of those Christmas movies that are in the entertainment unit. Which by the way if you tell anyone that I'll kill you in your sleep."

"Okay I won't" Luke says not knowing whether Cara is joking or not "bye Cara."

"See ya later kid, have fun falling on your ass with your future boyfriend" Cara says.

"Kid? How old are you?" Luke asks.

"Nineteen" Cara says "you?"

"Sixteen" Luke admits.

"See, just a little baby" Cara coos ruffling Luke's hair.

\---

Only a few minutes after Cara leaves Ashton comes out.

"Lukey,you've barely eaten! Are you okay?!" Ashton exclaims worriedly and Luke can't help but notice everyone stare

"Sorry that was loud it's just it's been a while since I gave you your breakfast and you haven't had any. There isn't a reason for it, is there? Do you feel okay?" Ashton asks.

There Ashton is again thinking that Luke doing something trivial like staring into space because he was thinking about something stupid or not being able to eat his breakfast because his friend wouldn't shut up is something serious. If anyone else was this worried about Luke and jumped to conclusions then Luke would probably find it annoying but this is  _Ashton_. Luke doesn't think anything Ashton could do would ever annoy him and Luke knows that's dangerous.

Luke actually feels flattered that Ashton's worried. It shows that someone cares and no has cared about Luke since he moved, at least not anyone he could see person to person. He knows Calum cares and probably still does but he knows Calum has his own life and his own things to worry about and Luke doesn't blame Calum if Luke isn't his first priority. Calum's probably worried about starting to drive and saving up so he can go to college and get his own place with Ally in the next couple of years.

"Luke?" Ashton asks and Luke just notices Ashton's waving his hands in his face "you okay?"

"Oh yeah I'm fine, I was just thinking about something and I didn't eat because Cara wouldn't shut up and it would've been rude not to reply to her" Luke says.

"Oh well that makes sense" Ashton says "I just thought maybe it was a different reason"

"Well you don't have to worry about that the only reason I would skip a meal is because I didn't have access to food" Luke reassures not wanting to Ashton to think there's anything more going because there isn't and he doesn't want Ashton to worry over nothing.

"Oh I didn't mean it like  _that._  I just thought maybe it made you feel sick and we've had to make adjustments to your diet or something. But I'm glad it's not that either though and sorry for-like making assumptions" Ashton says awkwardly.

Of course Luke had to make things awkward, it's his specialty after all, right next to ruining things.

"It's fine, it actually means a lot to me that you care so thank you" Luke says making Ashton blush.

"You're welcome" Ashton says "I'll shut up now and let you eat that now".

At first Luke eats quickly because he's looking forward to skating with Ashton even if he'll most likely fall on his ass. So maybe it's being with Ashton Luke is looking more forward to than actually skating but only Luke needs to know that.

However Ashton tells him to slow down because it's dangerous to eat quickly after you haven't for a while since you can't tell whether you're getting full or not. So Luke does slow down and maybe part of the reason he does is because Ashton was the one who told him so. Again, that's something Luke would rather keep to himself.

It takes Luke about fifteen minutes to finish and when he does he puts his empty tray back on the counter before leaving. He notices some people stare at him and Ashton questioningly but with Ashton smiling next to him Luke can't really bring himself to care.

"I'll wait here while you get your stuff" Ashton says once Luke and Ashton get to Luke's dorm.

"You know you can come in" Luke says.

"Well I'm not really supposed to actually, like the volunteers can't go in the dorms while someone is there because they're private and they don't want to risk the volunteers- like, doing anything" Ashton says.

"Well I know you wouldn't do anything and if they're private then they'll never find out will they?" Luke says.

"Wow,are you asking me to beak the rules? You don't really seem like the type." Ashton laughs.

"Well there's a lot you don't know about me" Luke winks "god, that was terrible wasn't it".

"Yes, yes it was. Honestly Lukey I'm kind of disappointed in you, you could do way better" Ashton says.

"I know. I need to step up my game" Luke says " so are you gonna come in or not?"

"Yeah I guess so" Ashton says "I'll only break the rules for you".

Luke blushes remembering what Cara said.  _'Im sure he'd break the rules for you'_. Of course Ashton was only joking and it doesn't mean anything but Luke still can't help but be a little hopeful.  _Screw Cara, this is all her fault_  Luke thinks to himself, now she's making him delusional as well.

"Well c'mon then" Luke says opening the door.

Cara is laying laying on her stomach on her bed watching Elf when Luke and Ashton walk in.

"If you fucking tell anyone about this Irwin I will castrate you" Cara grumbles.

"Wait, how do you know my last name? I'm pretty sure I've never told you" Ashton asks seeming more worried about the fact Cara knows his last name than the threat she just made him.

"I have my resources" Cara says cooly "like you know the fact it's written on the back of your shirt".

"Oh" Ashton says "well that makes sense"

"It's a good thing you're pretty" Cara retorts.

"You know I didn't come here to be insulted by you" Ashton grumbles.

"And I didn't come to  _my_  room to escape and watch movies only to have you annoy me" Cara retorts.

"That's fair enough" Ashton says.

"You bet it is" Cara says focusing on the movie again.

Luke takes the silence as a cue to get his stuff and puts it on.

"You ready to to now, Lukey?" Ashton asks and Luke blushes and nods.

"Yes please go" Cara retorts "before you make me gag with your adorableness".

\---

The car ride to Ashton's place was pretty quiet but it was a nice quiet.   
Ashton had some mixtape on that consisted of bands like Blink 182, Green Day, Fall Out Boy, Simple Plan, Panic! at the Disco, My Chemical Romance and pretty much any other pop punk band you can think of. Luke realized that not only is Ashton hot and a good person but he also has a good taste in music. Luke really needs to get out of this before it's too late.

Luke is now following Ashton into his apartment building, it's nothing special on the outside, just a brown building, it's what's on the inside that makes it. The doorman greets Ashton as he walks in and Ashton introduces Luke to him.

The man is nice and all but when Ashton introduces Luke as his friend he gets this look like he knows something they don't. Why does everyone act that way around them, it's quite inconsiderate for Luke actually because it's like they're rubbing in the fact nothing will happen between him and Ashton even if it's not intentional.

The lobby is actually really nice and has a Christmas tree with gold, red and green decorations on it and a gold trimmed, red tree skirt underneath. There are red couches around the tree and near the fireplace which is a dark oak color and has mini versions of the large Christmas tree on the top of it. Lining the walls there are different stations with food and drinks and there's even a bar with tenders in the corner. It looks the living room of some mansion inside.

"I know it's pretty awesome, right?" Ashton asks once they're in the elevators.

"Yeah it is" Luke says.

"Back in Australia we were so used to living in tiny apartments with one bedroom and roach infestations. Sometimes we even had to live in trailer parks. There were even times where we almost had to live on the streets" Ashton says "I don't know why I'm telling you this, you probably don't even care"

"No I do" Luke say asks as the elevator comes to a stop at Ashton's floor "is that why you volunteered at the homeless shelter?"

"To be honest it was because I needed community hours to graduate high school but that's probably part of the reason why I liked it so much." Ashton says stepping off the elevator and Luke follows

"It's just it's good to know you're helping people from stuff like that. And like people have these stereotypes about homeless that they're all like drug addicts or something and like even if they are that doesn't mean they don't deserve help, you know. Like addictions can make people act irrationally and cause them to not be themselves and like the only thing they care about is the next bottle or hit. They're like victims to the drugs and like, they treat people with diseases without a a question so why is it so taboo to help drug addicts? Addiction is a disease too. Like so many people don't care about the homeless and it pisses me off because they're people too who just happened to get themselves in an unfortunate postion. And some people are homeless for reasons they can't control like unsupportive parents. And then bad things can happen to them on the streets. It's just nice to help people from that."

"Well it's nice that you want to help, not a lot of people do and just like. You were like the first person since I moved here to actually treat me like a person. Not only that but you brought me to the centre which I've already made a friend at and feels like I'm at home since the first time since I was in Australia. You've done more things for me in less than 24 hours than most people would do in their whole life so thank you. It means so much to me and I don't know how to repay you" Luke says.

"You don't have to repay me at all but if you really want to just being my friend is enough" Ashton says "and you're welcome Lukey. It's nothing really to me but I know it means a lot to you".

"It does" Luke says gratefully.

"Well we're here now" Ashton says stopping in front of a door and getting out his keys.

Luke follows him into the apartment and it's quite nice as well.

There's a small front hall which leads to the main room which is a combined kitchen, living room and dining room. There's also a hallway which Luke can assume the bedrooms and bathroom are in.

There's a young girl around thirteen or fourteen sitting on the couch eating pancakes and watching some teenage girl show.

"Hey Ash, hey person I don't know" the girl says looking up form the tv.

"This is Luke" Ashton says "he's my friend from the shelter".

"How come I've never seen him before?" shes asks "I'm sure I'd remember someone as hot as him".

Luke knows he's blushing again, seriously what is with people embarrassing him lately? It's like the whole universe is out to get Luke, which he wouldn't really doubt.

"Because I just found him last night while he was out with Brendon" Ashton says.

"And you already invited him over? Damn you move fast" the girl who Luke assumes is Ashton's sister quips.

It's not like that, now shut up and stop trying to hit on guys older than you. It's just weird and you're making Luke uncomfortable." Ashton says.

"Jeez fine no need to get so jealous" Ashton's sister says raising her hands in defence "What are you even here for anyways? Shouldn't you be at the centre, you know actually helping Luke get settled in and stuff?"

"Well I have to take Harry skating since you wouldn't" Ashton says.

"Well I actually have a social life Ashton and can't spend all my time with Harry. Don't get mad at me because you're jealous." Ashton's sister says "by the way can you drive me to the mall?"

"Only because it's on the way to the rink, where's Harry by the way?" Ashton asks.

"He's still at the park with Jacob" Ashton's sister says.

"Okay well I'm gonna go change and then we'll go so hurry up. I'll leave without you" Ashton says.

"Oooh you're changing for your date with Luke?" his sister quips.

"Shut up Lauren" Ashton says walking towards the hallway "cmon Luke I won't leave you alone with  _her_."

"Wow you're inviting him to your room already?!" Lauren teases "Don't you think you should slow things down a bit?"

"I don't have to take you to the mall you know Lauren" Ashton says.

"Okay, okay fine" Lauren says raising her hands again.

Luke follows Ashton into the hallway which has two rooms on either side. Ashton tries to open the last door on the left but has trouble with it for someone reason and Luke finds out that reason when Ashton finally gets the door open.

There are toys all over the floor and it looks like a typical kids room. The walls are blue and on one side of the room they're covered in green space themed decals as well as the ceiling. There are two beds one of which Luke assumes is Harry's because it has a rocket ship with stars and planets around it as the bedspread. The other bed which Luke is guessing is Ashton's just has a grey plaid bedspread.

There are two white nightstands with a drawer and books underneath the one next to Harrys bed having sci fi books and Ashton's chapter books. Between the two nightstands is a window with curtains that are just like Harry's bedspread but with many smaller rockets, stars and planets on it. The nightstand next to Harry's bed also has a neon green and blue lava lamp and Buzz Lightyear toy on it, the shade for another lamp also has a space theme to it. Ashton's nightstand just has an alarm clock on it and his lampshade matches his bedspread. There's also a white entertainment unit with a flat screen tv on it and every gaming console you could imagine on the shelf under it as well as bunch of video games. There's also a door which Luke assumes leads to an ensuite bathroom.

"Sorry it's a mess, it wasn't like this when I left, I swear" Ashton says moving some toys out of the way with his foot to clear a path "this is the result of two ten year olds having a play date with no supervision"

"It's fine" Luke says "at least it looks like they had fun".

"Yeah I know" Ashton says going through the clothes in the closet "I didn't have the greatest childhood and didn't have time to just play with my friend or anything so I kind of want to make the best for Harry, you know? Of course it's not my mum's fault my dad was an ass and I'd never blame her for anything. Besides it made me the person I am today and I'm glad of that. I'm sorry you probably don't even want to hear this".

"I don't mind" Luke says "and I think it's adorable that you want your brother to have a good childhood".

"Well um thanks" Ashton blushes "but really it's just being a good brother".

"I don't know I don't think just any brother would do that" Luke says.

"Why? Did yours not?" Ashton asks worriedly.

"Oh no they were awesome, I just meant other brothers" Luke says feeling his eyes water.

Shit, he can't cry now, not in front of Ashton. This was just a cute moment about Ashton and his brother and of course Luke had to ruin it.

"Shit Luke, I'm sorry" Ashton says guiltily and that is the last thing Luke wants "if it's a touchy subject you don't have to say anything else".

"Thank you" Luke says "and it's not your fault, you didn't know."

"Yeah I know" Ashton says "but I still shouldn't have brought that up. I really need to think before I say things".

"No Ash, don't feel bad I said it was fine" Luke says.

"Yeah but you still look like you're going to cry" Ashton says "Do you need anything? Like tissues? Or a hug?"

"Maybe a hug" Luke says.

Luke's not just taking advantage of the fact it's Ashton asking him for a hug. He actually genuinely needs one. It's been far too long since he's a had hug, a real one. In fact Luke thinks his last hug was probably when he was saying goodbye to Calum and Ally at the airport.

"C'mere then" Ashton says holding his arms out for Luke.

Ashton's arms are strong and he's warm and smells good and basically all of the other things that make a hug good. Ashton has one arm around Luke's waist gently rubbing circles into his hip and he uses his other to gently run his fingers through Luke's hair. If that wasn't good enough for Luke, which it more than is, Ashton even sways him back and forth a little.

Even that isn't enough to stop Luke's tears though and he buries his face in Ashton's shoulder. Luke realizes his tears are getting Ashton's shirt wet and he immediately feels guilty and goes to apologize but Ashton stops him.

"It's fine" Ashton says softly "I'm gonna get changed anyways".

Luke doesn't say anything and instead just buries his face even further into Ashton's shoulder. Luke feels Ashton press a kiss to the top of his head which sends sparks through Luke's entire body.They had started when Ashton first started hugging Luke but got even worse when he kissed him. Luke doesn't even know what they mean because he's never felt them with anyone else but he kind of likes them.

Luke doesn't even know how long they stay like that but Luke would be perfectly content if they stayed like that all day. However as Luke has already established the universe hates him and the hug is broken when the two of them jump due to Lauren's yelling

"Ashton! Luke! Stop making out and get out here! My friends are already at the mall!" Lauren yells.

"Okay we'll be out in a second Laur!" Ashton exclaims.

"You better!" Lauren shouts back.

"You okay?" Ashton asks noticing the tears in Luke's eyes.

Luke's nose is also still running from crying and Luke knows he probably looks like drowned rat but Ashton doesn't comment on it.

"Yeah" Luke nods going to wipe his tears away with his sleeve but Ashton stops him.

"I'll get tissues" Ashton says darting into the bathroom before Luke can even register what he said before returning with tissues and handing them to Luke.

"Thank you" Luke says taking the tissues from Ashton.

"It's no problem" Ashton says "and I have to get dressed and pick up Harry and take Lauren to the mall before she kills me but I can drive you back to the shelter after that if you want. You don't have to go anymore if you're upset".

"No I still wanna go" Luke says a little to eagerly "It'll probably take my mind off it and I've never been skating but it'd be fun to try".

"It is" Ashton says "after you get over the initial falling on your ass stage but I'll help you with that. And you can't play until you can skate obviously but hockey is really fun. Canadians know what's up. I don't know why the whole world is obsessed with soccer, hockey is way better" Ashton says.

"Maybe because a lot of countries don't have snow or ice?" Luke suggests.

"Yeah I guess" Ashton says "I've actually kind of grown to like snow over the past few years I've been here. I still hate the cold though".

"Does anyone like the cold?" Luke asks.

"Only crazy people" Ashton laughs.

"I will bust your down your fucking door Ashton if you don't hurry! You've got one minute!" Lauren screams.

"Okay, okay I'm hurrying and watch your language!" Ashton says.

"I bet Lauren likes the cold" Ashton whispers to Luke making him laugh.

"What did you say about me?!" Lauren yells.

"Nothing! I love you!" Ashton calls heading into the bathroom.

"Yeah sure" Lauren says sarcastically.

"Okay let's go" Ashton says coming out not even thirty seconds later with his hoodie on backwards.

"Your hoodie's on backwards, didn't you notice your hood in your face?" Luke asks and Ashton looks down as if he only noticed it was on backwards now, which Luke knows he probably did.

"Maybe I wanted to make a fashion statment" Ashton retorts pulling off his hoodie.

His shirt underneath rides up a bit and Luke can't help but stare as he sees the faint outline of six pack.

"You like what you see?" Ashton says smirking at Luke.

Oh god, Luke got caught, of course he got caught.

"I um-didn't mean to" Luke stutters.

"Sure you didn't" Ashton says winking at Luke.

Ashton then pulls his hoodie the right way in and Luke can't help but notice the way his biceps flex when he does. Luke hadn't even noticed them earlier and now that he has he'd rather unsee them. It'll only make this crush worse for Luke.

"You know a picture will last longer" Ashton smirks putting on his hoodie again.

"I was just-I wasn't" Luke stutters.

"Mhm sure" Ashton says disbelievingly "well let's go now we don't want to keep Lauren waiting any longer".

Ashton is halfway out the room when Luke realizes  _oh yeah, maybe I should follow him._

"You gonna come or would you rather stay here" Ashton asks winking at Luke.

"I uh yeah I'm coming" Luke says starting to walk out of the room almost tripping over a toy alien as he does.

"Careful" Ashton says placing his hands on Luke's waist to catch him from falling and Luke feels like this won't be the only time this happens today.

Ashton keeps his hand on Luke's waist for a bit longer than necessary but Luke isn't complaining at all.

"Right um- we should- we should go" Ashton stutters removing his hand from Luke's waist.

\---  
It turns out Luke was right and Ashton had to catch him from falling as soon as he got up from tying his skates.

"Careful,Lukey" Ashton says putting a hand on Luke's waist to steady him.

Ashton told Luke to get hockey skates because they're easier to skate in and Luke is glad he took Ashton's advice. Luke can't even imagine trying to balance on the thin blade of figure skates.

"Do you think you'll be able to walk to ice if I let go?" Ashton asks.

"Yeah" Luke says embarrassed.

He wanted to at least get a foot without falling. Ashton probably thinks he's a total dork now. It also really doesn't help with Luke's confidence that Harry and Jacob were able to run to the ice on their skates and join a group of kids for a game of hockey with out even losing balance.

Harry is adorable and like a infinite ball of energy and Ashton's relationship with his little brother is so sweet it's almost repulsive. Harry looks up to Ashton so much and it's adorable and kind of reminds Luke of how he was with his older brothers but he'd rather not think about them. He was supposed to try and forget them by going skating. Well not forget them per say because Luke could never forget but at least take his mind off of them.

"You okay?" Ashton's worried voice snaps Luke out of his thoughts "we can always go back if you want".

"No I'm fine" Luke says shaking the thoughts of his brothers from his head and focusing on Ashton.

His eyebrows are raised in concern and his hazel eyes are full of worry and Luke feels guilty. Ashton always gets so worried whenever Luke is quiet for a while and Luke really doesn't deserve it. He's not used to people caring about him anymore and he doesn't know how to handle it.

"Okay" Ashton says and Luke can tell he doesn't believe him "well if you want to go back just tell me".

"I don't want to go back, I want to skate with you" Luke says making Ashton blush.

"Well c'mon then" Ashton says moving back so Luke can go in front "I promise I won't let you fall on your ass too much".

Luke manages to get to ice with only losing balance once but Ashton steadied him before he could even process what was going on.

They're now right near the ice and there a couple steps you have to go up in order to get on the ice and they look quite intimidating to Luke.

"You want me to go first?" Ashton asks.

"No I can" Luke says.

He's not going to fall in front of Ashton again. Even if he does like the way Ashton steadies him whenever he's about to it's still embarrassing. Luke doesn't want Ashton to know he's the biggest klutz on earth.

Ashton's probably strongly regretting asking Luke to come with him right now. He probably never would've asked if he knew he'd just be catching Luke the whole time, Luke can't blame him. Ashton probably just wanted to have fun and now it'll be a hassle thanks to Luke. So no, Luke isn't going to fall again.

However that's easier said than done and Luke falls on his ass as soon as he steps on the ice.

"Oh my god, Luke! Are you okay?" Ashton exclaims gliding up to Luke.

Ashton makes it looks so easy as if it's no more difficult than walking and Luke kind of hates him for it. Although the hate doesn't last very long when Ashton bends down next to Luke and his concerned eyes look into Luke's.

"Yeah I'm fine" Luke says "I've might've broken my self esteem but other than that I'm fine".

Ashton giggles at Luke's lame joke and yeah, Luke could never hate Ashton. No matter how much of a show off he is.

"Well if it helps I fell at least a hundred times when I first started" Ashton says.

"How is that is supposed to help? That means I'll fall at least a thousand times" Luke says making Ashton laugh again.

"Do you want help up?" Ashton asks.

"I'd say no but well- you saw how that worked out last time" Luke says.

"C'mon" Ashton laughs "I won't let you fall"

"Oh like you just didn't" Luke retorts.

"That's all your fault Luke, this never would've happened if you had let me go in front of you" Ashton says.

"Oh yeah blame it all on me" Luke grumbles.

"Well I didn't make you fall, did I?" Ashton asks.

"I bet you did. You're probably telepathic" Luke says.

"You mean telekinetic?" Ashton laughs.

"Same difference" Luke says.

"There's a huge difference" Ashton says.

"Are you gonna help me up or I'm just gonna have to lay on the ice all day. It's cold." Luke says.

"Eh I might leave you, you do look really cute like that" Ashton says making Luke blush.

"And you look even cuter when you're blushing" Ashton adds which only makes Luke blush more.

"No I don't" Luke says " I look like a bottle of ketchup".

"A bottle of ketchup" Ashton laughs "where'd you get that metaphor from?"

"I don't know because I needed something red" Luke says "and ketchup is really red".

"Well you're lucky ketchup is my favourite condiment then" Ashton says.

"Ketchup is everyone's favourite condiment" Luke laughs "who says oh 'I totally prefer relish over ketchup'".

"Crazy people" Ashton replies.

"Is that your answer to everything?" Luke asks.

"No my answer to everything is you" Ashton says.

And Luke thought his blushing was bad enough before.

"Oh god that was fucking terrible wasn't it?" Ashton laughs.

"Yeah, yeah it was" Luke says still trying to hide his blush.

Ashton is about to say something but someone skates past deliberately spraying ice in Luke's face.

"Fucking fags" the guy mutters skating off.

"Hey!" Ashton exclaims rolling his up his sleeves and getting ready to go after the guy but Luke stops him.

"Ash no, he's not worth it" Luke says grabbing Ashton's arm.

Luke doesn't want Ashton to go after that guy only to get hurt. While Luke learned that Ashton definitely isn't weak when he took off his hoodie earlier he still knows Ashton is no match for that guy. He was about ten years older than Ashton and built like truck. Not to mention they're on ice, the results would only be disastrous. Plus Luke kind of doesn't want to just lay there while Ashton fights the guy.

"But he can't just say things like that and get away with it" Ashton grumbles.

"Well he's going to have to" Luke says "please Ash I don't want you to get hurt. You know you're no match for him, no offence".

"Yeah okay" Ashton says "I just hate the fact that guys like him get away with stuff like that. I don't want you to be upset".

"It's great that you care Ash, really, but I'm not upset" Luke says "I've had much worse happen to me".

"Yeah I guess" Ashton says sadly "you know if you ever need to talk about anything I'm here".

"I know" Luke says "and thank you".

"Well I should probably help you up now" Ashton says.

"Yeah probably" Luke laughs.

Ashton stands up himself and brushes the ice off his coat before holding a gloved hand out to Luke. Luke takes it and even with Ashton holding his hand he almost falls but of course Ashton is there to steady Luke with his free hand.

"You know I'm starting to think you're doing this on purpose just so I can catch you" Ashton says.

"I wish I could say I was" Luke says "but unfortunately I actually am this much of a loser".

"Well I'll always be there to catch you when you fall" Ashton says.

"God, you're so cheesy" Luke laughs.

"Don't act like you don't like it" Ashton says making Luke blush.

"Right so um how do I actually skate?" Luke asks trying to change the subject.

"Well I don't really know how to explain it really" Ashton admits "but you just sort of move your feet?"

"Wow really" Luke says sarcastically "I never would have known".

"Oh shut up" Ashton laughs playfully hitting Luke on the arm.

"Seriously though you just push your feet and just sort of like glide, here rest your hands on my shoulders, I'll show you" Ashton says.

Luke follows and Ashton places his hands on Luke's waist.

"Okay so you have to like push into the ice and then like push off" Ashton says "that sounds really sexual but, like, follow after me".

Luke nods and copies the motions Ashton does.

"Good!" Ashton says encouragingly "You've got it! Now you just have to actually move. So I'm gonna let go now but just for a second."

Luke nods and when Ashton lets go of him Luke actually doesn't feel like he's going to fall for once. Ashton skates around behind Luke before placing his hands on the younger boy's waist again.

"Okay so now just do what I showed you" Ashton says "It's okay, I've got you".

Luke nods and follows Ashton's command and pretty soon he's actually moving. After about fifteen minutes he actually manages to do a lap around the rink only losing balance a couple of times. Of course Ashton was holding onto him the whole time but still, it's mostly Luke doing the work and he's proud of himself.

"Do you think you can do it on your own now?" Ashton asks and Luke nods.

"Yeah I'll try" Luke says.

"Okay" Ashton says "you're doing way better than I did my first time".

"Well that's because I have a great teacher" Luke says.

"Yep, I'm the best I know" Ashton retorts "So I'm gonna let go now".

Luke nods and Ashton removes his hands from Luke's waist the spots where they had been now unpleasantly cold.

Luke starts moving his feet and manages to do a lap and a half around the rink before he falls. This time Ashton isn't there to steady him and Luke falls hard on his ass. He doesn't even have time to register the pain before Ashton is rushing up to him.

"Shit Luke, I'm sorry!" Ashton says "you were doing so well I thought it would be safe to let you go ahead of me. Plus you just looked so cute out there I wasn't even focusing on your balance".

"It's fine" Luke blushes taking Ashton's hand.

"I'll actually stay next to you this time" Ashton says once Luke is back on his feet.

"That would be good" Luke says.

\---  
After about an hour and a half of skating it's 12:30 so they decide to go get lunch at Starbucks.

Luke got a turkey and cheddar sandwich and so did Harry and Jacob and Ashton got a chicken Santa Fe panini. Harry and Jacob both got regular hot chocolate and Ashton got a white one and Luke just got milk.

Luke's not really supposed to have hot chocolate because of the sugar but Ashton let him try some of his. Ashton said it was basically the nectar of the gods and Luke had to at least try some. So Luke did and he had to admit it tasted amazing and he wished he could have some of his own.

"You should've seen their faces" Harry says talking about the hockey game he was playing with the other kids at the rink "they didn't even think I could get one goal and I got a hat trick. And Jacob got a goal too".

"That's great Harry" Ashton says taking a bit of his sandwich.

"It was. I thought they were gonna cry when they lost. I wish they did" Harry says.

"It's great that you won the game bud but don't you think it's kind of mean to want the kids to cry?" Ashton says.

"Well they were meaner" Harry says.

"You know that's still not a reason to be mean back" Ashton says.

"I know but they were being really mean to Jacob" Harry says.

"I know but still just ignore it don't get involved with those kids. Their parents seemed like jerks and you really wouldn't want to make them mad" Ashton says.

"Wait how do you know their parents?" Harry asks.

"I don't really" Ashton admits "but one of their dad's said something about Luke and I".

"What did they say?" Harry asks.

"You don't really need to know about that right now, bud" Ashton says.

"Why not?" Harry asks.

"Because you're too young to know about it now" Ashton says.

"Was it about you being gay? Because some of the boys at school say it like it's a bad thing and so did those boys " Harry says.

"Harry" Ashton says sternly.

"Okay, I'm sorry" Harry says.

"It's okay bud" Ashton says "now if you finish your whole sandwich I'll let you and Jacob share a brownie".

"Okay!" Harry says excitedly forgetting all about the question now.

"Can we still go skating after lunch? But I don't wanna play with those boys again" Harry says.

"Yeah of course" Ashton says "just stay with me and Luke".

"Okay!" Harry says excitedly "can we take shots off you if we get a net?"

"I don't have my equipment, sorry bud" Ashton says.

"We could rent some. Please?" Harry asks.

"Okay fine" Ashton says making Harry's face light up.

"Thanks Ash! You're the best!" Harry exclaims hopping down from his seat to give his older brother a hug.

"It's no problem bud" Ashton says ruffling Harry's hair "now go finish your sandwich or just Jacob will get the brownie."

"Okay" Harry says climbing back into his chair.

It's rather adorable and seeing Ashton with his little brother only makes Luke's crush on Ashton worse. Luke really doesn't know he's going to survive this.

\---  
After they left Starbucks the next few hours consisted of Harry and Jacob taking shots on Ashton. Harry and Jacob even taught Luke how to play hockey when he got bored of just watching.

Luke actually thinks he got the hang of hockey. He might've fallen a couple times and accidentally shot the puck to the other end of the ice but he did manage to a score a goal. Although Luke is pretty sure he only scored because Ashton felt bad for him, but no one needs to know that. It was his first time playing hockey and he just learned how to skate before he played, so in all honesty, Luke thinks he did pretty well. You might as well call him Sidney Crosby.

It's now about five and almost dark and Ashton is holding a sleeping Harry in his arms. If Luke thought Ashton's relationship with his little brother couldn't get any sweeter this definitely proved him wrong.

It quite obvious after a few hours Harry was getting tired but of course being a little kid he refused to admit it. He said he was going to take a break and sat on one of the benches and he ended up falling asleep on it. Ashton couldn't let his sleeping brother be all alone on the bench so of course he had to go get him and now they're skating a few laps around the rink with Jacob.

Jacob absolutely loved it at the rink and he wanted to skate around for a bit even though Harry was asleep and Ashton and Luke couldn't say no to that.

"So are you gonna eat at the shelter or are you gonna come back to my place for dinner?" Ashton says "Jacob's mum said he can stay out until 8 so it'll just be us, Jacob and of course Harry and Lauren if you want to."

"Yeah sure" Luke says "is it allowed? Because of like the diet rules at the shelter and everything?"

"Yeah it's fine as long as I know your restrictions" Ashton says.

"Okay then yeah of course I will" Luke says and Ashton smiles brightly at him.

Jacob, who was skating a little bit in front of them then tugs on Ashton's coat.

"We can go now if you want" Jacob says politely.

"Okay then c'mon, what do you want for dinner?" Ashton asks the little boy.

"I don't care" Jacob says.

"Well you're the guest so you get to pick something" Ashton says.

Jacob bites his lip like he's deciding what he wants before speaking.

"Can we have that pasta that they served at the other day? I don't remember what it was called but it had a white sauce and started with an a or something" Jacob says.

"Alfredo?" Ashton asks and Jacob nods eagerly "of course".

"Thank you" Jacob says.

"It's no problem" Ashton says "now c'mon let's go and you can play on Harry's wii while I'm making it"

"Can I play Mario Kart?" Jacob asks eagerly.

"You can play any game you want" Ashton says making Jacob's face light up.

"Thank you" Jacob says hugging Ashton " _thankyouthankyouthankyou_ ".

"It's no problem" Ashton laughs ruffling the little boys hair.

"Do you want me to clean yours and Harry's room?" Jacob asks.

"Of course not" Ashton says "Harry can clean the mess himself".

"Okay thank you Ashton" Jacob says "can we go now? I wanna play Mario Kart!"

"Of course" Ashton says and Jacob quickly skates off to the exit.

Ashton is slower which Luke assumes is because he doesn't want to drop Harry or anything and Luke decides to stay back as well.

"What?" Ashton asks.

"What do you mean what?" Luke asks confused "Aren't I allowed to talk to you?"

"Well yeah of course" Ashton says "but you're looking at me"

"Aren't you supposed to look at the person you're talking to?" Luke asks still confused.

"Well yeah, of course, but you're looking at me differently" Ashton asks.

Differently how?" Luke asks hoping he didn't creep Ashton out, which Luke knows he probably did.

"I don't know" Ashton says "you're just looking at me differently than anyone else would and I don't know why. What did I do?"

"It doesn't creep you out does it?" Luke asks.

"Of course not" Ashton says "in fact I kinda like it and want to know what I did so you'll do it more often".

"Oh" Luke blushes "well the way you were with Harry and Jacob is kind of adorable. That could be it."

"Oh" Ashton says "Well I don't even think of that as anything special, I'm just being nice to kids like they deserve. I guess if you think it's so awesome though then I'll add it to my list of many redeeming qualities"

Ashton winks at Luke before stepping of the ice and Luke shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

Who even is Ashton Irwin and why is Luke so attracted to him?

Luke follows Ashton into the change rooms where Jacob is already sitting with his skates off and his boots on again.

Luke watches as Ashton sets Harry, who is still fast asleep, on the bench and takes his hat off to use as a sort of pillow for Harry.

Ashton then takes his own skates off and when he's finished he looks up at Luke expectantly.

"Are you planning on keeping those?" Ashton asks referring to Luke's skates that he still has on and has made no effort to take off.

"What? N-no I was, I was just" Luke stutters awkwardly sitting on the other side of Jacob because he really does not want to make eye contact with Ashton right now.

Ashton just caught Luke practically gaping at him, he probably thinks Luke is a total freak now.

"Staring at me?" Ashton retorts and Luke suddenly finds untying his skates really interesting.

"I don't mind Luke" Ashton says "I just don't know why you'd find me so interesting".

Ashton says it so genuinely like even  _he_  has trouble believing that someone could care about him and it makes Luke's heart ache. Ashton just has this positive aura around him and even in less than 24 hours Luke can tell that he cares so much about others. It breaks Luke's heart to think that people don't care about Ashton as much as he does about them. What kind of person could ever be rude to Ashton, let alone use him?

If it's just a stranger like that man who kicked ice at them then that's different. He was obviously a judgemental idiot, but he didn't know Ashton. But Luke knows that Ashton has been hurt by people he actually loved and trusted and Luke's heart aches for him.

Luke has million things he could say or do right now. He could tell Ashton that the reason he's so interested in him is because he's kind of the most gorgeous person he's ever met, inside and out, and he finds that really intriguing. He finds Ashton really intriguing and wants to know everything about him. He wants to know more about Ashton's family and what his life was like in Australia. He wants to know trivial things about Ashton like stupid stories from his childhood and more serious things like who hurt Ashton. What kind of monsters would ever take that gorgeous smile away and what they did so Luke can make sure it never happens again.

He could tell Ashton that even though Luke hasn't even known Ashton for a day he sees so much good in him. Even in less than 24 hours Ashton managed to improve Luke's life so much. How just 24 hours ago, Luke was huddled in that small space between a wall and building, in the alleyway Luke had to call home for the past few months. How just 24 hours ago, Luke was wondering if he would even live to see the next day and was fighting to stay awake. How just 24 hours ago, Luke was certain he was going to die in that alley sooner or later.

And then Ashton came. How Luke was awoken by someone and surely thought it was someone coming to beat him up or worse. How he certainly didn't expect to be greeted with soft eyes. And how he certainly didn't expect that stranger help him so much in just so little time.

But of course Luke doesn't say any of that because he's Luke Robert Hemmings. He's always been shit at conveying his feelings through words, or actions. Or just conveying his feelings in general. Even as a little kid Luke still kept all his emotions to himself and the only people who were allowed the see them were his family and Calum, when Luke eventually trusted him enough.

How Luke would wait until he got home from school to cry about the things the other boys said about him because he was different, for reasons Luke didn't even understand himself at the time. How Luke would cry into his mothers arms and his father would want to call the school and intervene but his mother told him not because she feared it would only make things worse. How Ben wanted to beat up those boys but he couldn't because he was older and could get in serious trouble. How Jack didn't really understand what was going on, he just knew his little brother was upset and would try and cheer him up by letting Luke play with his favourite toys or telling him jokes.

No Luke's never been good at conveying his feelings especially gratitude. He never told his family how much they truly meant to him and knows it is much too late. And you'd think Luke would've learnt his lesson from that but, no. Luke still can't and doesn't, tell Ashton how much he means to him.

"I- I don't know" Luke stutters mentally hitting himself because why didn't he just tell Ashton?

Why does Luke continue to run from things that are unfamiliar to him even though it's never done him any good in the past?

"Oh" Ashton says frowning and Luke knows he's no better than those other people who hurt Ashton.

"Ash" Luke says and he doesn't even know what he's going to say, but he has to say something.

"No Luke it's fine" Ashton says dismissing his feelings and trying to put on a fake smile.

Luke knows it all too well. He's done it so many times himself before that he can tell when others do it. He won't let Ashton do it though. He won't let Ashton be sad because Luke is an idiot. He won't let Ashton keep it to himself and mix with the other things that have hurt him until they become too much and Ashton breaks.

"No Ash listen to me please" Luke says and Ashton looks up at him curiously.

"I just, I'm not good at expressing my feelings and I never have been but you've done so much for me in less than 24 hours. And fuck, it means so much to me it really does but I'm an idiot and I don't know how to show it. And I just find you really interesting because you're different. You care so much about people even if they don't care about you in return. I don't know Ash, something about you is just really intriguing" Luke says.

Ashton looks down and doesn't say anything for a while and Luke thinks maybe he's told Ashton too much. Maybe he's come off as obsessive or creepy. However when Ashton looks up smiling even brighter than he has before Luke knows he didn't do anything wrong.

"Thank you Luke" Ashton says "nobody's ever really said anything like that to me before".

"Well they should" Luke says "it's not fair that people can use you and take advantage of you like that".

"Yeah well I guess that comes with the price of being generous, some people just don't appreciate what you do for them and only use you to their advantage. I don't think that's any reason to stop helping though. A majority of people are really appreciative and it's only a tiny fraction of people who aren't. But you know, we always tend to focus on the negative. And even those negative people might have a reason for acting that way. Like you don't really know their story, I know it sounds cliche and all but it's true. You don't why they act that way and if I can make one bitter person smile or even change their ways then I see that as a good thing. Some people there's no hope for but at least I didn't stoop to their level. The only time I'll- fight fire with fire, I guess- is if they were rude to someone I really care about. That's the one thing I won't stand for" Ashton says.

"I don't even know what to say except that was... deep" Luke says making Ashton laugh.

"You don't even have to say anything" Ashton says "I think I do more than enough talking for the both us".

"Well I can't deny that" Luke laughs "but seriously, you seem like a good person and it's cute how much you care about others, especially Harry".

"Oh, well thanks" Ashton blushes. "Speaking of Harry we should go now, we don't want to keep Jacob waiting any longer now do we?"

Ashton looks at Jacob as he says the last part and the little boy looks up from the floor where he was kicking an empty roll of hockey tape around with his feet.

"I don't mind waiting" Jacob says.

"I know and that's a great thing to have at your age but we won't make you wait any longer" Ashton says "aren't you excited to play Mario Kart?"

"Yeah!" Jacob says excitedly.

"Okay well I just have to take Harry's skates off and then return our skates to the rental and then we can go" Ashton says.

"Okay!" Jacob says excitedly.

Luke watches fondly as Ashton gently removes his sleeping brothers skates before picking Harry up.

"Can you take the skates and my hat, Luke?" Ashton asks.

"Yeah of course" Luke says following Ashton's command.

"C'mon Jacob let's go now" Ashton says and Jacob grabs his own skates and hops down from the bench.

Jacob walks a little in front of Luke and Ashton and Luke can't help but think maybe he'd want something like this with Ashton in the future. Luke's never really wanted or even thought of having kids before but maybe if it was with Ashton he would. However Luke knows his thoughts are irrational because in order for that to happen he and Ashton would have to be more than friends which'll never happen.

They hand the skates back in at the rental before going to Ashton's. Ashton buckles Harry, who is still fast asleep in, carefully, so he won't get hurt if they have to come to a sudden stop or anything. Jacob falls asleep as well almost as soon as they get in the car.

The music plays quietly and the car ride is pretty silent as Luke and Ashton don't want to wake the kids or anything. It's a comfortable silence and Luke enjoys it and thinks he could quite get used to it.

They pick up Lauren on the way home from the mall and she fills the tiny part of the trunk that didn't have Harry's sleds in it with her bags. She's on her phone the whole time so Luke kind of forgets she's even there.

Jacob wakes up by the time they get back to Ashton's and has full energy again. Harry however is still sound asleep and Ashton unbuckles him before picking him up again. Lauren takes her bags from the trunk and they decided to just leave the sleds in the trunk for now.

Luke is right next to Ashton as he carries Harry through the building with Jacob following and Lauren trailing behind still on her phone. Jacob excitedly pushes the elevator button and for a second Luke longs for the time where things excited him that easily.

"The elevator is leaving soon we don't have all day!" Ashton says to Lauren who is still way behind. She rolls her eyes but runs to catch the elevator anyways.

As she gets on the elevator Ashton snatches her phone from her hands.

"Hey!" Lauren exclaims "give it back!"

"Maybe later" Ashton says putting the phone is pocket "you better not be texting that guy".

"Why would it mater to you if I was?" Lauren asks.

"Because I know how guys text and I don't want you to get hurt" Ashton says.

"He's not like that. He's nice" Lauren says and Ashton snorts.

"I'm sure he is" Ashton says sarcastically.

"You're such a jerk" Lauren grumbles.

"Oh yeah because I care about my sister" Ashton says sarcastically "I'm the number one jerk of year".

"Yep and don't you forget it" Lauren says and Luke can't help but snort.

"Lukey?! What the hell?! I thought you were on my side!" Ashton says pretending to be hurt.

"Even your boyfriend knows I'm right Ashton" Lauren says stepping of the elevator once it gets to their floor.

"He's not my boyfriend" Ashton says blushing.

"Not yet" Lauren retorts.

What is with everyone thinking there's something going on between Luke and Ashton? Luke would love it if it was true and it's nice to know people would be supportive if it was but it isn't.

"I'm gonna go put my new stuff away" Lauren says taking off her coat when they get in the apartment.

"Okay well I'm gonna put Harry in his bed and set up Mario Kart for Jacob and then I'm making Alfredo for dinner" Ashton says.

"Do you even know how to make Alfredo?" Lauren asks.

"Well no" Ashton admits "but I'm sure I can find a simple recipe online"

"You'll need a simple one" Lauren retorts laughing at her own joke before taking her bags to her room.

"Well you can watch tv or something Lukey, if you want while I make it. Or just watch me make it, since I know you love it so much" Ashton winks making Luke blush.

"Oh I'll watch" Luke says "but only so you don't burn down the whole complex".

"Wow, rude" Ashton says clutching his heart "I'm gonna pretend like I didn't hear that.

Luke follows Ashton into his room where he sets Harry in his bed and tucks him in before kissing his forehead. Ashton then sets up Mario kart and hands Jacob a wheel before going over the controls with him. It's too adorable and Luke can't help but watch and Ashton makes eye contact with him when he looks up.

"I know I'm adorable, you don't have to tell me" Ashton retorts.

"Well I wasn't going to because you're not adorable" Luke retorts back.

"That's not what you said before" Ashton reminds Luke.

"Actually I said the way you are with kids is adorable not you spefically" Luke says.

"Sure Luke, whatever you say" Ashton says sarcastically "just admit that you're in love with me already".

Luke knows he's just joking but he can't help but blush and Ashton smirks before walking out of the room.

\---

"So I think this one looks easy enough" Ashton says referring to a recipe he found on his laptop.

"Do you have all the ingredients?" Luke asks.

"That was my next step, okay. Don't look at me like that" Ashton laughs before skimming the ingredients.

"And the answer to that is no" Ashton admits quietly.

"Of course it is" Luke laughs shaking his head.

"You know what Luke?" Ashton says "I don't need your judgement".

"I'm not judging you but don't you think you could've gotten the ingredients while we were out already?" Luke says.

"Well I didn't know what we needed" Ashton mumbles.

"So I know for a fact we don't have garlic or parsley and we have cream cheese but I think it might be expired" Ashton says.

"Well then why didn't you throw it out?" Luke asks.

"Well I'm not sure if it is or not but it's been in there for a while" Ashton says "but I'll go check now."

Ashton then gets up from the couch and walks over to the fridge and pulls out the container of cream cheese. He opens it and immediately makes a face and gags almost dropping it in the process before chucking it in the trash can next to the island.

"So the cream cheese was definitely expired" Ashton says walking back to where Luke is "and we don't have the right kind of milk. I don't know if there's a huge difference between one and two percent but I don't want to fuck this up."

"I don't think the type of milk will matter you're gonna fuck it up anyways" Luke says.

"Shut up" Ashton says hitting Luke on the shoulder "also we need real Parmesan not the powdery shit".

"So basically we need everything except the butter and salt?" Luke retorts.

"And the flour" Ashton says and Luke gives him a weird look.

"That's what the recipe called for, don't look at me!" Ashton laughs throwing his hands up in defence "So I'll print this off and then we'll go to the store down the road and get it".

"We?" Luke asks "who said I was going with you?"

Of course Luke wouldn't mind going to the store with Ashton at all he just doesn't want to seem too eager or anything.

"Oh shut up" Ashton says "of course you are. It's a dangerous world out there, now c'mon".

Luke shakes his head but gets off the couch anyways.

"Lauren!" Ashton calls once he and Luke have gotten their coats on.

"What?!" Lauren groans.

"We're going to get some stuff for dinner from the store! Watch Harry and Jacob while we're gone!" Ashton calls.

"Ugh, fine!" Lauren shouts.

"Okay let's go" Ashton says "and I hope Harry wakes up and annoys the shit out of her".

Luke laughs and rolls his eyes but follows Ashton down the hallway.

\---  
They decide to walk since the store isn't very far and they don't have to get much so it's not like they'll be carrying heavy bags.

Quite a few of the stores on the way there were already decorated for Christmas and Luke couldn't help but be kind of mesmerized by them.This is Luke's first Christmas in London and they decorate for it way more here than in Australia.

Luke would rather not think about Christmas in Australia though because just this time last year Luke was still happily living in Australia unaware of how much his life would be shooken up within the next year.

"You okay?"'Ashton asks his worried eyes illuminated by the Christmas lights.

"Yeah I'm fine" Luke says biting his lip to stop from crying.

It's been so long since he's cried. It's been so long since he thought of it. He thought he was over this. Well not over per say because he could never truly be over it. He at least thought he could think about it without crying though.

Luke feels a warm hand on his back and looks up to meet Ashton's sad gaze.

"We can go back if you want" Ashton says "I'll make something else or I'll just go to the store".

"No it's fine" Luke says trying to shake the thoughts from his head "I'm fine, I swear. You don't have to worry".

"If you say so" Ashton says and Luke knows he doesn't believe him but he doesn't question him any further and Luke is grateful.

Ashton looks sadly at Luke before hesitantly kissing his cheek making the blonde boy blush. Luke immediately feels sparks as Ashton's lips touch his cheek and if Ashton just kissing his cheek feels this good Luke wonders what it would feel like to kiss his lips. Of course Luke knows he has to accept the bitter truth that he will never know what it feels like to kiss Ashton.

"You know I'm here for you if you ever wanna talk" Ashton says.

"I know, thanks Ash" Luke says still blushing.

"Will you be fine to go to the store?" Ashton asks.

"Yeah" Luke nods "it'll help take my mind off it".

"Okay well just tell if you want to leave and we can" Ashton says.

"Thanks Ash but I'll be fine really. You don't have to worry" Luke says smiling for real this time.

"I just don't like seeing you upset" Ashton says.

Luke doesn't really know what to say to that so he just blushes and mutters a small thanks and Ashton doesn't say anything more so Luke figures it was enough.

\---  
After about half an hour Luke and Ashton manage to find everything they need in the store and they're standing in the dessert section.

"Ugh why is everything high in sugar?!" Ashton groans putting down some cheesecake.

"Oh I don't know, maybe because it's dessert" Luke retorts.

"But I wanted something you could have" Ashton grumbles.

"Well I'm grateful that you want to but you don't have to get anything if it's too much of a hassle" Luke says.

"Oh no I'm getting you something" Ashton says "I just don't know what yet".

"Just fruit would be fine if you really have to" Luke says.

"Yeah I guess but I wanted to get you like an actual dessert. But everything is high in sugar and I wouldn't have time to make anything since Jacob has to be back by eight." Ashton says.

"What would they give me at the shelter for dessert?" Luke asks.

"Usually like cookies or Rice Krispies or something but they make those there so they're healthy" Ashton says.

"Well if you can't find anything fruit should be fine and if Jacob has to be back by eight then don't waste time on me" Luke says.

"Yeah I guess so" Ashton says sadly "it's just I wanted something special because I know you probably haven't had a good dessert in a while. I just wanted to make today special for you".

The last part breaks Luke's heart because how can Ashton think he needs some extravagant dessert to make the day special for Luke? Fuck, Ashton could've made the day special by not even seeing him at all just because he had taken him to the shelter the night before. Instead he took Luke skating and out for lunch and let him meet his siblings. Now he's cooking fucking dinner for Luke. How could Ashton ever think what he's doing isn't enough. It's way more than enough.

"Ash" Luke says "you don't need a dessert to make today special. It would've been special enough if you hadn't even talked to me just because you took me to the shelter last night. It would've been special even if you just talked to me at the shelter. But you did so much for me and I had an amazing time today. Not having dessert isn't going to ruin it".

"Yeah I guess you're right" Ashton blushes "it's just I know you've had a rough life and I just want to make the rest of it special. If you'd let me in the rest of your life I mean. Okay now this sounds like I'm proposing or something but I just really wanna be your friend. The only true friends I've had are my friend Michael and his girlfriend and I don't know. You just seem like you'd be a good friend so will you be friends with me?"

Ashton's asking Luke's permission to be his friend and honestly Luke thinks it's quite adorable. Of course Luke would like to be even more but he has to be realistic. Someone like Ashton would never like Luke in more than a platonic way. Besides even if he did Luke still barely knows Ashton. He hasn't even known him for a full day. He's not just gonna rush into things like some stupid romance novel. So friends, that is more than enough for Luke.

"I'd love to be your friend Ash" Luke says making Ashton smile brightly.

Ashton has a huge smile on his face the whole time they're at the checkout and walking back to Ashton's and Luke is proud to know he's the cause of that smile.

\---  
"Okay so step one says we have to turn the burner on medium heat, whatever that means" Ashton says.

There's a pot of water boiling on the stove since Luke said they should boil the water first so it will be ready to cook the pasta by the time the time the sauce is made and they can just leave it to simmer while the pasta finishes cooking. Whatever that means. They also have all the ingredients for the sauce on the counter as Luke said that they should measure the ingredients first so that way they wouldn't have to worry about it later and it would make it less stressful.

Ashton was willing to do anything to make cooking less stressful because to be honest, he's quite a shit cook. You'd think he'd be good because he cooks for his siblings a lot but the extent of his dinners are sandwiches or pre made dinners that he just has to stick in the oven or microwave.

He wishes he was a better cook and has tried quite a few times to make better meals for his siblings because how hard can following a recipe be? Apparently rocket science to Ashton. Ashton always ends up staring small fires when he attempts to cook so he figured maybe he should stop.

Why Ashton decided to cook an actual meal tonight he will never know. Maybe it was because Jacob asked and he just couldn't say no to him. He could've always gotten boxed Alfredo but he wanted to give Jacob the real deal. Or maybe he just wanted to show off in front off Luke. Which will probably just end up backfiring on Ashton, literally.

"I think that would be number five. Since you know it goes up to ten and half of ten is five" Luke says.

Ashton likes the more sarcastic side of Luke not only is he quite hilarious and sassy but it shows that Luke is comfortable with Ashton. Ashton thought that Luke like be cautious and timid around him like he was around Brendon last night but Luke didn't seem nervous with Ashton at all today.

Of course Ashton wouldn't mind if Luke was nervous around him and he wouldn't mind being more careful around him but he's glad to see Luke happy. Of course Ashton still has to watch what he says around Luke like he can't bring up his family but he's glad Luke doesn't want to just stay in his room all day or anything.

Ashton's glad Luke agreed to go with him today because Ashton had an amazing day with Luke. Luke was so adorable when he was skating and tripping over his own feet. And he looked so eager to learn and Ashton was more than happy to teach him.

Luke looked so genuinely interested in what Ashton had to say even when he was rambling. Ashton's so used to people, whether it's his friends or just random students at the school, even teachers or his family sometimes, telling him to shut up or even just flat out ignoring him whenever he rambles. It was different having someone actually listen to him for once and Ashton appreciates more than he let Luke know.

In short the whole day only made Ashton's tiny, or not so tiny, crush on Luke grow. And Ashton might have a permanent smile on his face now that Luke agreed to be friends with him. Of course Ashton would like to be more than friends with Luke but he hasn't even known him for a day.

So Ashton decided to just ask Luke to be his friend. He doesn't want to rush into anything or scare Luke and Ashton isn't even sure if Luke likes him back. Besides he knows that if he does ask Luke to be his boyfriend he wants to make it special somehow and Ashton doesn't know Luke enough yet to make it special for him.

"Well then why didn't they just say five!" Ashton laughs.

"Because they're out to get you" Luke retorts.

Ashton laughs before placing the sauce pan on the burner and tuning the dial to number five.

"Okay, you take this and then read the steps off to me" Ashton says handing Luke the recipe.

"Don't you think we should switch roles? I don't want you to burn down the kitchen or anything" Luke says.

"Are you implying that you don't think I can cook?" Ashton asks feigning offence "you've never even seen me cook!"

"Well so far you didn't know to boil the water or get out the ingredients first. Or what medium heat meant. So I'm gonna say yes, I don't think you can cook" Luke says.

"Well then prepare to be amazed!" Ashton says waving his hands like some corny magician and Luke laughs "A magician can't perform without his assitant. Now read the fucking recipe!"

"Jeez okay, okay" Luke says throwing his hands up in defence "you could ask nicely".

"I'm not gonna be nice if you're not gonna do your job correctly" Ashton retorts "now, seriously what's the next step".

"Add the butter" Luke says.

Ashton takes the spoon with the butter on it and throws it, literally, into the saucepan. The butter begins to melt and Ashton turns to Luke for the next step.

"Now you have to crush the garlic into the saucepan and make sure you don't cook it for longer than thirty seconds" Luke says.

"Why?" Ashton asks putting a clove of garlic into the crusher "will it upset the balance of the universe or something?"

"Or you know it'll just burn the garlic" Luke says.

"Oh that makes sense" Ashton mumbles crushing the garlic into the pan before adding another clove.

"Now what?" Ashton asks "hurry Lukey, we've only got so much time before we fuck it all up!"

"Add the milk and flour" Luke says.

"What do I add first?!" Ashton asks panicked.

"The milk I assume but it just says 'add milk and four' it doesn't specify the order" Luke says.

"Well that's stupid" Ashton remarks grabbing the milk and pouring it into the pan "it's like they want us to fuck up".

"Well they are to get you" Luke retorts as Ashton adds the flour "now add the cream cheese and stir until there are no chunks".

"Chunks" Ashton says shuddering "that sounds wrong".

"Only to you" Luke says "and why would- you know what I don't even want to know".

"Don't act like you don't wanna know all about my sex life" Ashton retorts as he adds the cream cheese.

"I don't need to act, I don't" Luke says.

"Okay Luke I believe you" Ashton says sarcastically "okay it's smooth now, now what do I do?"

"Add the parmesan and salt" Luke says.

"Okay" Ashton says wiping a bead of sweat from his eyebrow.

Now that the sauce is starting to cook and the water is almost boiled it's really hot in the kitchen. Ashton takes off his hoodie and he may or may not purposefully let his shirt ride up a bit because he knows Luke's watching again.

Not to sound arrogant or anything, but Ashton knows his body is pretty decent and he can't blame Luke for wanting a little look. Okay that sounds really arrogant but basically Ashton doesn't mind if Luke looks and he's totally gonna use it as an opportunity to flirt with him. Ashton's glad he decided to wear a tank top since he figured he'd get hot skating because that'll only make it worse on Luke, or better, depending on how you look at it.

"I think the water's boiled now" Ashton says pointing to the pot and making sure his arm touches Luke's chest as he does "you can put the pasta in now if you want".

"I-uh, right" Luke says blinking and trying to act like he wasn't just staring at Ashton's arm.

Ashton smirks to himself as he watches Luke fumble to open the pasta box out of the corner of his eye. Ashton decides to start grating the Parmesan to look busy so Luke doesn't notice he's watching him. Ashton notices that Luke suddenly loses interest in the pasta box when Ashton starts grating and his bright blue eyes are drawn to Ashton's biceps.

"Aren't you gonna add the pasta?" Ashton says casually.

"Oh, yeah I-uh just took a break because it wasn't co operating and I wanted to wait until it did" Luke stutters.

Ashton can't help but smile when Luke says 'it wasn't co operating and I wanted to wait until it did'. He was acting like the pasta was a person or something, Luke is the cutest.

Luke finally manages to open, well more like tear open, the pasta box and when he does he almost drops it.

"Careful" Ashton says reaching to grab it and making sure his arm is on Luke's chest again.

"I swear all boxes are out to get me, I can never open them right" Luke mutters.

"So recipes are out to get me and boxes are out to get you. I guess the kitchen is a dangerous place for both us" Ashton says.

"Yeah I guess so" Luke says pouring the pasta into the pot "are you gonna move your arm now, or?"

"Well you seemed to be enjoying it so much I figured I should keep it there" Ashton quips.

"In your dreams" Luke snorts but blushes deeply so Ashton knows his flirting actually worked "just hurry up and get back to grating the cheese"

"Why so you can watch me again?" Ashton teases.

"I was only watching to make sure you didn't miss the pot" Luke says.

"Okay Luke" Ashton says unbelievingly.

"Now what do I do?" Ashton ask once he's finished adding the parmesan and salt.

"Add the parsley and then put it on simmer until the pasta's done" Luke says.

"What does simmer mean?" Ashton asks.

"Low" Luke says.

"Wow Luke I just didn't know what the term meant you don't have insult my intelligence" Ashton grumbles "Not everyone is a culinary master like you!"

"I wasn't insulting your intelligence I meant low as in the heat setting" Luke says and  _oh_  Ashton thinks, that makes sense" and I'm not a culinary master".

"You're way better at this than I am" Ashton says.

"Well that's because my.." Luke trails off and bites his lip and Ashton knows he's doing it to stop from crying.

"I'm sorry Luke" Ashton says putting his hand on Luke's arm and making comforting circles with his thumb "I shouldn't have said that".

"You didn't even say anything wrong" Luke mutters.

"But I wasn't being cautious with what I was saying and I should've been" Ashton mumbles.

"No Ash" Luke says as his voice cracks "don't act like you have to walk on eggshells around me. I should be able to think of them without crying by now".

"I don't know what happened Lukey and you don't have to tell me until you're ready but whatever it is you don't have to get over it quickly. Or at all, it's okay to cry" Ashton says.

"Yeah I guess" Luke says sadly "but we should finish cooking now, we don't want anything to burn".

Ashton knows Luke doesn't want to talk about it right now so he doesn't knowing he'd want Luke to do the same if the roles were reversed. So instead he just grabs some tissues next to the sink and hands them to Luke who accepts them and smiles gratefully at him.

"Thanks Ash" Luke says using the tissues to wipe his tears away and blow his nose.

Some people might find it unattractive but Ashton finds it endearing although he doesn't like to see Luke cry as it obviously brings him pain.

"It's now problem Lukey" Ashton says adding the parsley to the pan before turning the heat down to two.

"We should probably set the table now and clean up" Luke says and Ashton groans "if we work together quickly we can get it done fast".

"Ugh fine" Ashton grumbles.

It turns out Luke was right and it only managed to take about seven minutes to clean everything and the set table.

"The pasta should be finished now" Luke says "but there's two ways to check, you can either eat some or throw a piece at the fridge."

"Well that isn't even a choice" Ashton says going to grab a piece of pasta with his bare hands but Luke grabs his hands and stops him.

"I know you don't cook but you should at least know what happens if you stick your hands into boiling water" Luke says.

"Oh yeah" Ashton says dumbly "I don't even know what I'd have done without you".

"Probably have not even gotten to this step because you would've burnt down the complex" Luke retorts.

Ashton opens his mouth to protest but shuts it when he realizes Luke is right.

Ashton watches as Luke uses a... what is that thing even called? 'The pasta grabber' Ashton decides to call it. Ashton watches as Luke uses the 'grabber' to pick up a piece of fettuccine and waits a few seconds before poking it with his finger to test if it's hot. He then hands the piece to Ashton who eagerly throws it at the fridge and the pasta sticks to it.

"That means it's cooked" Luke says and Ashton wraps his arms around Luke's waist and pulls him into hug.

Luke is still for a bit at the beginning and Ashton thinks maybe he went too far but eventually Luke wraps his arms around Ashton.

"I did it Lukey! I actually managed to cook something without causing a fire and I couldn't have done it without you!" Ashton exclaims.

Ashton feels Luke press his face into his shoulder and Ashton knows Luke's probably blushing.

After a few moments Luke pulls away though much to Ashton's dismay and Ashton feels oddly cold without Luke in his arms. Luke must feel it too if the way he shivers after is anything to go off of although it may be from a lack of eating.

"We don't want to overcook the pasta" Luke says and Ashton nods "I'll finish up and you go tell your siblings and Jacob it's ready okay?"

"Yeah okay" Ashton nods walking out of the kitchen.

As he does he can't help but look back at Luke and can't help but notice how adorable he looks pouring the pasta in the strainer.

Ashton can't help but think that maybe he'd want something like this with Luke in the future. That's if Luke allows it of course.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part two, thank you to everyone who read the first part (comments would still really be appreciated). And this is the last of my one-shots so I'm going to start posting my chaptered fics from now on.

**~2 weeks later~**

Although Luke has only been living at the shelter for a while he already feels as if he's at home. And it's not just because of Ashton, really it isn't. Luke still feels like he fits in at the shelter even if Ashton is away.

He's gotten even closer to Cara within the past week and has found out that even though she acts tough she's actually a huge softie at heart. When Luke got back from the time he and Ashton went skating he found Cara crying over the titanic on the couch.

Cara then threw the box of tissues at him, which actually quite hurt because the corner hit him in the eye, and she didn't even apologize, and threatened to kill him if he told anyone.

Although Luke didn't mind that Cara had thrown the tissues at him that much because the next day when Ashton saw the mark he immediately got worried. Luke knows it didn't mean anything of course, but it's still nice to have someone worry about him, especially when it's Ashton.

Luke actually managed to make more friends as well and now sit with four other people at their meals. Which consists of a straight couple named Zoe and Alfie, which even Cara has to admit are cute and a guy named Thomas who Luke is pretty sure has crush on him.

Luke's not trying to be conceited or anything, in fact he's quite surprised this guy is attracted to him, but he does make it rather obvious. Thomas is pretty cute and all but well, he's not Ashton.

There's also a girl named Rita who Luke knows Cara has a crush on and just doesn't want to admit it. He's actually quite glad about that because not only does Cara deserve to have someone who actually cares about her, but Luke can also use this as payback for Cara teasing him about Ashton.

Speaking of Ashton, he comes everyday after school and usually hangs out with Luke for at least an hour since he has to see the other residents as well. Luke tells Ashton that he doesn't need to visit him everyday if there's stuff he needs to do and Ashton always tells him that he likes to hang out with Luke and doesn't mind if he has to stay a bit later because of that, to which Luke always blushes.

Ashton also gave Luke an old phone of his and help him it set up. Ashton always texts Luke when he's in class saying things like 'this class is so boring' or 'I am so close to falling asleep' to which Luke always laughs.

Ashton also helped Luke get registered to starts school once the new semester starts and it's not just any school Luke is going to, but Ashton's school. Of course since Luke is younger he'll be a year below Ashton but Luke can still see him at lunch and when he drives him to and from school. Anything that means he can spend more time with Ashton Luke is down for, although he'd never tell Ashton that.

Luke is shaken out of the his thoughts but someone flicking him in the back of the head and he doesn't even need to look to know it's Cara. And it's not just because she's the only he's with right now.

"The lines moving loser, move!" Cara exclaims.

They're now in the line of the cafeteria to get breakfast and Luke may or may not have been thinking about how glad he is that's it's Friday and he'll get to spend more time with Ashton on the weekend.

Last weekend Ashton invited Luke over to his apartment and they went skating again. Both Lauren and Harry were at a friend's that weekend so it was just Luke and Ashton and Luke enjoyed it way more than he should've.

It actually ended up snowing quite a lot about halfway through the day so they went to back to Ashton's just to be safe. When they got back Ashton made tea, since Luke couldn't have hot chocolate, and soup, with Luke's assistance of course because he would've burnt it otherwise, and they watched Christmas movies until it stopped snowing and Ashton figured the roads were safe enough.

About halfway through the first movie, which was Christmas Vacation, Ashton noticed Luke was shivering even though he was under two blankets and had soup and tea.

Instead of asking if Luke wanted another blanket like Luke thought he would, Ashton asked Luke if he wanted to cuddle and held out his arms. Of course Luke knew it was just because Ashton didn't want him to be cold and didn't mean anything more but Luke still couldn't turn it down, especially when Ashton smiled hopefully. There's no way Luke could ever resist that.

So Luke hesitantly moved into Ashton's arms and Ashton pulled Luke closer and wrapped his arms around his waist. Luke hesitantly rested his head on Ashton's chest to which Ashton only held him tighter and moved the blankets to cover Luke better. Just like when Ashton had hugged him the weekend before Ashton was warm and smiled nice and Luke honestly wouldn't have minded if he had to stay in that position for the rest of his life,  _in fact he'd probably prefer it, he'd definitely prefer it._

Once again Luke is snapped out of his thoughts by Cara flicking him.

"Jesus, Luke, I know you're excited to spend time with your boyfriend this weekend but damn, you could at least wait until we have our breakfast to daydream about him" Cara says.

"I-I I wasn't daydreaming about Ashton, I wasn't even thinking of him" Luke lies.

"And I don't like hash browns" Cara retorts.

Cara's about to say something else, probably to tease Luke about Ashton or to yell at him about zoning out some more, which Luke really doesn't do as often as she claims,  _really_ , but Luke's phone buzzes.

He reaches for it, knowing it's Ashton because he's the only contact Luke has but Cara grabs his arm.

"Don't you fucking dare answer that until we've gotten our food, Hemmings. I can finally have hashbrowns and if you make me wait any longer them than necessary you'll never see Ashton again. Or anything because you'll be fucking dead, am I clear?"

"Yes Cara" Luke says throwing his hands up in defense.

"Good" Cara retorts before pushing Luke forward "now move".

After about five minutes they've gotten their breakfast and are walking towards their table, where everyone else is already sitting.

Rita is the first one to look up and smiles brightly before greeting Luke and Cara.

"Hey Luke, hey Cara!" She chirps.

Luke raises his eyebrows at Cara when he notices her blush to which she punches him in the arm.

"Don't you fucking dare say anything" Cara whispers.

"Like you don't tease me around Ashton" Luke whispers back.

"That's different, you actually like Ashton" Cara says.

"And you actually like Rita" Luke retorts.

"What the fuck did I just say?!" Cara seethes.

"'That's different, you actually like Ashton'" Luke says imitating Cara.

"Lucas" Cara whines "I don't sound like that and you knew what I meant stop being a little shit".

"Cara" Luke whines matching Cara's tone "that's not my name and you know it".

"I do it to annoy you, since I can't stand you I figured I should make you feel the same way about me" Cara says.

"Well you don't have to call me by the wrong name to do that, trust me you do that on your own" Luke retorts.

Cara is about to reply but she's interrupted by Alfie.

"What are you two whispering about?" He asks.

"Luke's undying love for Ashton, as usual" Cara retorts and  _damn she's fast,_  Luke thinks to himself.

Luke is about to say something about Rita but Cara kicks him in the shin before he can even open his mouth and Luke decides he probably shouldn't say anything if he wants to live.

"Well you should let it die" Thomas says "your love for Ashton I mean, you know nothing can happen between you two, it against the rules."

"You think I don't know that" Luke grumbles and maybe it's rude but Luke really doesn't need to be reminded that he doesn't have a chance with Ashton right now. "If there were no rules he'd never like me back. I know, you don't have to remind me".

"I didn't mean it like that" Thomas says "but it's true, you can't be with him and I don't want you get hurt and spend all your time wishing to be with someone you can't. There are other guys here who you could actually be with".

Luke knows Thomas is referring to himself but he decides to act clueless because he doesn't want to have this discussion right now.

"You don't know what it's like" Luke says.

"Actually I do" Thomas says and  _shit_ , how does Luke get out of this now?

"Can everyone shut up and let Luke and I sit down, I want my hashbrowns" Cara exclaims.

Luke gives Cara a look that says 'thank you' and she just shrugs as if to say no problem.

\---

Ashton sighs internally as his history teacher rambles on. They're learning about the French Revolution right now and Ashton knows all this since he took the course the year before. He needed to take a certain number of classes to be able to take another year of high school and he figured he'd take history because he did well in it and found it easy.

He's starting to really regret that decision now though. Not only does he have to hear the teacher ramble on about things he already knows but the other kids in this class aren't the brightest. One guy asked if Napoleon was a flavour of ice cream and at that point Ashton strongly considered just getting up and walking out of the room. Ashton's 100% sure his teacher wanted to do the same as well.

Ashton doesn't have anything against his teacher really,in fact she's one of his favourites. She's a nice woman and is Ashton one of her favourite students. She can also be really witty and sarcastic which of course goes unnoticed by the other students. It's probably the only reason Ashton decided not to switch classes. Also she doesn't mind if Ashton goes on his phone, so that's an added bonus.

Speaking of his phone, why doesn't he just go on it, instead of just sitting there bored out of his skull. So maybe Ashton is a little slow today, but it's  _Friday_. He's got other things on his mind. All of which may or may not be related to Luke.

Speaking of Luke Ashton should probably text him, if anyone can save Ashton from this boredom it's Luke.

**To Lukey:**

**Help me before I go insane Luke, a kid in my history asked if Napoleon was a flavour of ice cream. And the worst part is my teacher had been talking about Napoleon for like fifteen minutes before that. For the whole time did he seriously sit there and think ice cream lead the French Revolution?**

**-Ash**

Ashton realizes he ended up typing a whole paragraph. He even rambles in his texts, he's such a loser,why is Luke even friends with him?

**I just realized I'm even starting to ramble in my texts, I'm such a loser, sorry.**

**-Ash**

When Luke doesn't reply after 2 minutes Ashton isn't that worried. Luke is probably preoccupied or maybe he's typing this long paragraph about how he's in love with Ashton and actually finds his rambling endearing.  _Ashton is allowed to dream, okay?_

When Luke doesn't respond after 3 three minutes Ashton thinks okay maybe I scared him a little with my rambling and he'll reply later. He ignores it though and decides to play some games to take his mind off it.

However when six minutes go by and there is no reply Ashton's suspicions that Luke thinks he is a total loser are confirmed. Luke will probably let Ashton down easily because he's nice like that. He'll probably thank for Ashton for helping him get settled into the shelter but he doesn't need help anymore as he's found friends.

It's been almost eight minutes since Ashton sent the texts that Luke finally responds. And the response was definitely worth the wait.

_Hey Ash, sorry it took me so long to reply. Cara wouldn't let me respond until we'd gotten her hashbrowns. And I already told you I find your rambling adorable ;)_

_-Lukey_

Ashton looks around the room to make sure nobody catches him blushing and luckily everyone is preoccupied.

Luke Hemmings is a piece of shit, he can't just flirt with Ashton like that and he especially can't use winky faces.  _Doesn't he know what it does to Ashton?_

And okay Ashton knows Luke wasn't actually flirting, he was just being nice, but Ashton can at least pretend, okay. He can at least pretend in some fantasy land that Luke was actually flirting.

It's nice to escape from the harsh realities of the real world in which even if Luke did like him they could never be together. The volunteers at the shelter aren't allowed to date the residents and Ashton isn't going to get kicked out of the shelter he's been volunteering at for years just for Luke. Although now that Ashton thinks about it, he  _would_  actually be willing to do that for Luke and it scares him.

Ashton quickly shakes the thoughts from his head because  _no, he can't do that, he won't do that._

Great now Ashton is delirious and is thinking that there's a possibility that Luke actually likes him back. Which he doesn't, Luke probably isn't even looking for a boyfriend right now. It has only been two weeks Luke has been at the shelter, he's probably got other things to worry about. And when Luke does want a boyfriend he'll probably end up going for that stupid Thomas kid.

Ashton kind of hates Thomas, okay, he might even despise the kid. He can't blame Thomas for liking Luke, he's gorgeous and sweeter than candyland but Ashton still can't help it. Thomas has a way better chance with Luke and Ashton can't help but be bitter about it and resent Thomas for that. So Ashton is kind of a jealous person, sue him. But Ashton thinks he should be allowed to be since his last boyfriend fucking cheated on him. Not that Ashton is bitter about that, okay maybe he is, but that's not the point.

Luke is just so cute and endearing and whenever Ashton is with him he forgets about how heartbroken he still is over Damon. He forgets about his asshole of a father who left and caused him to grow up way too soon. He forgets about that how even though he dedicates his time making sure others are okay,  _Ashton isn't okay at all._

Luke is an escape from that and Ashton doesn't want him to be taken away by some random boy, who wouldn't even treat Luke half of the way Ashton would. Okay Ashton doesn't know how Thomas would treat Luke but he's pretty sure he wouldn't give up everything for Luke, like Ashton would. And maybe that's really unhealthy, Ashton knows it is, but when he sees Luke or even just texts him he forgets all about healthy and is willing to jump in a volcano for Luke again.

Ashton is snapped out of his thoughts when his phone buzzes and he notices he's gotten a text from Luke. Ashton then feels guilty because now Luke probably thinks Ashton is ignoring him, and he would never want Luke to think that.

_You still there?_

_-Lukey_

Okay the text isn't too bad, Luke doesn't seem to be too worried. It's the second text that comes through as Ashton is about to reply that breaks his heart.

_That was clingy and annoying wasn't it? I'm sorry you don't have to respond if you don't want to._

_-Lukey_

**No Luke it's fine, I just was just thinking about something and completely forgot to reply. If anyone should be apologizing it's me. And for the record it might've been a little clingy but I don't mind. I kind of did the exact same thing when you didn't respond at first too.**

**-Ash**

_Well Jeez Irwin, you do know I have a life besides you :P_

_-Lukey_

Luke is joking again and Ashton sighs in relief. He must not have hurt Luke's feelings too much and Luke actually accepted that shitty apology.

**As do I**

**-Ash**

_Do you really though?_

_\- Lukey_

**Ouch that is cold Hemmings, maybe you should spend less time with Cara**

**-Ash**

_Is that your way of saying you want to spend more time with me ;)_

_-Lukey_

Two can play at this game, Ashton thinks to himself.

**Yes it is actually, I think we should continue this tradition of our weekend dates**

**-Ash**

_And where would you take me?_

_-Lukey_

**Who says I'm taking you? I've taken you out for the past two weeks, it's your turn, Hemmings. I'm kidding, but honestly they're putting up the decorations at the shelter this year and it's kind of become a tradition for me and I don't wanna miss it. So we'll just be staying there. Try to contain your upset at the fact we won't be able to make out this weekend.**

**-Ash**

_I'm sure they wouldn't notice if we snuck to my dorm for a little while ;)_

_-Lukey_

And Jeez, if anyone from the shelter saw those texts between him and Luke, Ashton would be kicked out in a heartbeat. Even if they were just joking, well on Luke's part at least.

Ashton is about to reply when the bell rings startling Ashton and making him almost drop his phone.

He quickly gathers his books since he's the only one left in the classroom and is about to leave when his teacher says something that stops him dead in his tracks.

"Have you got a new boyfriend?" She asks.

"I uh- I- no- I - just -he's not-" Ashton stutters suddenly forgetting how to form coherent sentences.

"Relax Ashton, I was only kidding. You were just smiling at your phone a lot and it's nice to see you happy after everything" she says.

By everything she means Damon and all the other stuff in Ashton's mind that eats away at him because Ashton just so happens to be unfortunate enough that his history teacher is also his guidance counsellor.

"Oh, well um thanks Mrs. Fitz, but I really need to get my next class now" Ashton says awkwardly before making his way out of the classroom and as he does he hears Mrs. Fitz chuckle.

Ashton decides to try and text Luke as he walks down the hallway and that probably isn't the best idea because he runs into someone.

He gulps while looking up, expecting it to be Evan or one of his stupid friends, that are basically carbon copies of him, but it turns out to be Ashton's friend Derek.  _Which is probably even worse._  Derek is a great friend and all but well he has no respect for privacy what so ever and Ashton's texts with Luke are still open on his phone.

If Evan or his friends saw them Ashton wouldn't really mind they'd just tease him and say a couple homophobic remarks. Derek on the other hand though, Derek would want to talk about it and that is way worse than anything Evan could do.

Sure enough Derek is peeking at Ashton's phone before he can even shut it off and his face falls slightly.

"What?" Ashton snaps.

Maybe he's being rude but he doesn't want to have this conversation right now,  _or ever really._

"Isn't Luke the guy from the shelter?" Derek asks.

"Maybe" Ashton mutters, blushing.

"Well shit Ash, what have you gotten yourself into?" Derek asks.

"Nothing! I haven't gotten myself into anything, okay! There's nothing going on between me and Luke!" Ashton says defensively

"I think the flirty texts say otherwise" Derek says.

"Those doesn't mean anything! They're just-" Ashton starts but Derek cuts him off.

"Friendly conversation" Derek supplies "don't bullshit me, Irwin".

"I'm not bullshitting you, it's the truth" Ashton says softer this time "they don't mean anything, not to him at least and I really don't appreciate you rubbing that in."

"I wasn't trying to rub anything in Ash, and you don't know they mean nothing to him" Derek says.

"Yeah I do" Ashton says sadly.

"He told you,did he?" Derek asks.

"Well no but- I just know" Ashton says.

"Ash, I know you don't think anyone could love you after Damon, but that's not the truth. I know you're gay but all the girls love you and so do a few guys and all the other guys want to be you. You could literally get anyone in the world you wanted." Derek says.

"Yeah everyone except Luke, even if he liked me back he's off limits. He's a resident" Ashton says.

"He doesn't seem like one to you though does he?" Derek asks.

"No, but they're not gonna care about my feelings. They're just gonna see a relationship between a resident and a volunteer and think that I'm taking advantage of Luke" Ashton says "especially since he's younger than me"

"By two years" Derek points out.

"It's still younger and they're gonna see that" Ashton says.

"How do you know they won't allow it? They don't seem don't controlling there or anything just concerned for the safety of the residents and they know you'd never do anything like that" Derek says.

"It doesn't matter, they won't allow it because then they'll have to get rid of that rule all together so no one gets mad that they made an exception to the rule. And I don't think they'd want to do that, not everyone's like me. And if they did allow it and some other volunteer did something to someone it would basically be all my fault." Ashton says.

"That's highly unlikely, Ash" Derek says "don't be so negative".

"I'm not being negative, I'm being realistic. And Luke doesn't even like me so can we just drop this conversation."

"Fine Ash, but you're gonna have talk to me eventually, you can't lock this away forever" Derek says.

"Fucking watch me" Ashton grumbles.

\---

"So what are you and Ashton going to do for your date this weekend?" Cara asks.

They're now watching a movie in their dorm and Cara had already seen all the movies they already had and felt like watching something new, so they got one from the library. The librarian recommend it and said it was one her favourites but it just ended up being really cheesy and boring, but it's not like there's much else for Luke or Cara to do. Well actually there is, but that would require socializing and leaving their dorm, and to be honest Luke doesn't want to see their other friends right now.

 _Well Thomas at least._  The whole time at breakfast he was trying to convince Luke that Ashton wasn't good for him and basically rubbing it in his face that Ashton will never date him. Which Luke is fully aware of,  _he'd just rather not be reminded of it though._

"They're not dates" Luke blushes.

"Oh yeah because two people who like each other hanging out alone isn't a date" Cara scoffs.

"Ashton doesn't like me though, so therefore it's not a date" Luke argues.

"Of course he does" Cara says "he's almost as obvious as you. This isn't because of Thomas is it?"

"No it's because of me" Luke says "there's no way someone like Ashton would ever like someone like me, he probably doesn't even want to be friends with me and is just too nice to say so."

"Oh yeah because giving you one of his old phones just so he can talk to you more often, and making sure you end up enrolling to his school and inviting you to go out with him every weekend totally means he hates you." Cara says sarcastically.

"It's probably just part of his job to be nice" Luke shrugs.

"Well he doesn't do all that for me, or anyone else. Face it Luke, he likes you." Cara says.

"No  _you_  face it Cara, he doesn't like me back because I'm ugly and worthless and undeserving of love, especially by someone as amazing as him" Luke grumbles, he's trying to sound mad but the way his voice cracks says otherwise.

"Besides it's against the rules anyways so" Luke's whispers barely audible as he adds the last part.

"Luke" Cara says gently noticing Luke bite his lip and that his eyes are shiny with tears.

"Can we just watch the movie?" Luke says trying to sound rude, but of corpse that fails due to how broken his voice sounds.

"Luke, I'm sorry I didn't" Cara says "it's just-"

"I don't wanna talk about it right now" Luke says.

"Okay" Cara says "but I understand how it feels to think you're not worthy of love but-"

"What part of 'I don't want to talk about it right now' don't you understand?" Luke asks.

He knows he's being rude and Cara doesn't deserve that but he really doesn't want to talk to her about this right now, _or ever._  It's too painful to talk about and Luke knows he probably should, since it's healthy to talk about your feelings and all but Luke still doesn't want too. He doesn't want Cara to see any weakness in him, even though he knows she wouldn't judge him for it Luke still can't show weakness.

After what happened he promised himself he'd never show weakness again no matter who it's to. He already made the dangerous mistake of crying in front of Ashton, and even though Ashton didn't do anything who's to say anyone else will be the same? Besides Luke has vowed to himself never to cry in front of Ashton again because he doesn't want Ashton to think he's whiny or fragile.

So Luke would rather just drown his emotions and only let them surface when he's all alone. Which again Luke knows isn't healthy, but it's the only thing he knows. And does Luke even really deserve to be healthy or happy?  _He doesn't think so._

"Right, okay I'm sorry" Cara says "I'll go see Rita and give you some space".

She's not leaving because she's upset or anything but because she understands and would most likely want the same if the positions were reversed and for that Luke is grateful. Luke doesn't know what he did to deserve a friend like her. And he  _certainly_  doesn't know what he did to deserve Ashton.

In fact Ashton is probably only in Luke's life to teach him some sick lesson. He's only there so Luke can get a glimpse of hope and see what happiness will be like with Ashton, only to have taken him away to remind Luke that he'll never deserve happiness, and that he'll certainly never deserve Ashton.

It'll be like the like the line in one of Luke's favourite blink 182 songs 'when I was young'.

_'Life has a way, it showers with greatness, then takes it away, those pieces that made us.'_

Luke can relate to the whole song which is probably why he likes it so much, and because blink is one his favourite bands too, of course. But Luke can especially relate to that line because he's experienced it before.

Luke knows what it's like to be happy. He knows what it's like to have loving friends and family. Heck, he even know what it's like to be out and completely accepted and not judged for his sexuality. But of course that was all ripped away from him on that fateful night, just like Ashton will be eventually too.

Although Luke hopes, that universe can at least have some mercy on him and Ashton isn't taken from him the same they were. He'd rather have Ashton break his heart or even psychically hurt him then to have what happened to them happen to Ashton.

Luke is so wrapped up in his thoughts he doesn't even notice Cara has left until the door clicks shut, startling him and snapping him out of his thoughts.

Although it doesn't take long for him to regain his composure and when he does all those thoughts come flooding back and Luke doesn't bother to let his tears fall anymore.

He's alone now and he can't keep them in forever. This is as close as Luke will get to healthily dealing with his emotions.

Luke winces as he lets out a pathetic sob and buries his face into a pillow to block out noise, even Luke doesn't want to hear how weak and pathetic he sounds right now.

\---

"I'll unlock it for you but just you go in." Cara says "I don't know if he'll really want to talk to me right now"

Ashton had just arrived at the shelter frantic because Luke wasn't responding to any of his texts. Ashton doesn't care if he was acting like a middle schooler, it's not like Luke to not respond so Ashton couldn't help but worry. And he had just had a bad feeling, like Luke was hurting somehow. It got so bad Ashton was unable to concentrate on his schoolwork and ended up telling his teacher he felt sick and wanted to go home just so he could go shelter to see if Luke was okay.

Which might've been a little excessive, but it's  _Luke._  Ashton couldn't just sit there and not doing anything when he knew Luke was hurting, sure it was only a suspicion and Luke could've been completely fine and just not paying attention to his phone but Ashton doesn't care. He'd rather be safe than sorry, especially when it comes to Luke.

When Ashton did arrive at the shelter he went straight to the cafeteria and he noticed Cara with all of her friends, all of her friends except  _Luke_ , and that only made Ashton more worried.

Cara immediately noticed Ashton and detached herself from her friend group to speak to him. She told him she had been talking with Luke and he got really upset for some reason, although she didn't specify what they were talking about or why he got upset over it. Although he didn't really care about the details, his suspicions that Luke was upset were just confirmed and the only thing Ashton's cared about since then is if Luke is okay.

Cara offered to take Ashton up their dorm so he could check on Luke, which bless Cara for, even though she acts bitter and hateful, she's an actually an angel inside. Which brings us to the present.

"Okay thank you Cara, you're the best" Ashton says and Ashton knows she must be worried too because she refrains from any sarcastic remarks like 'I know I am'.

Cara unlocks the door and Ashton enters the dorm closing the door gently behind him, not wanting to startle Luke.

Ashton doesn't see Luke at first and he can't be hiding in the bathroom since the door is wide open and Ashton is able to see whether he's in there or not. The closets also don't have doors on them so it's not like Luke could be hiding in them. Ashton is about to leave and go frantically ask Cara if she's certain she didn't see him leave or anything, when he notices something.

It's barely noticeable against the white sheets but Ashton can see a tiny strip of yellow blonde, sticking out from under the covers on Luke's bed. Ashton is then able to make out the shape of Luke's body, which at first he just thought was pillows and he sighs a breath of relief. So Luke is fine after all, and the only reason he didn't answer his text was because he was asleep. It makes sense now and Ashton suddenly feels stupid for worrying.

However something still tells him that he wasn't worrying for nothing and Ashton finds himself walking towards Luke.

And he feels like shit for what he's about to do next because Luke is probably warm and cozy and Ashton is going to ruin that by blasting him with cold air. But he pulls the covers down anyways, not fully, but just so he can see Luke's face and so the blonde can get some fresh air. When he does he feels heart break because it's clear Luke really isn't fine after all.

There are tear stains on his pillows and his eyes are red and puffy and his nose is redder than Rudolph's. There's a bunch of tissues surrounding him like those stuffed animals from E.T and he's clutching a tissue in his hand that he has brought up to his face as well. Ashton would have to be stupid to not realize Luke had been crying.

However Ashton feels like it would be rude to wake Luke. Luke deserves to rest and they can always talk when Luke wakes up on his own. However Ashton also just can't leave Luke as well so he decides to stay.

He goes around to the other side of Luke's bed and pulls the covers up before climbing in.

Ashton knows it's kind of risky, it's not like he and Luke haven't cuddled before, but Luke was always awake when they started, so it's not like there would've been any awkward 'waking up with you next to me' moments.

Ashton could've just gotten in Cara's bed or watched some TV but he wants to be as close to Luke as possible so if he did fall asleep and Luke got up he would know. Plus Luke looks like he could use some cuddles right now anyways.

Ashton moves closer to Luke and the blonde shivers as Ashton's body touches his, although Ashton doesn't know if that's because Luke is cold or for a different reason.

Ashton then hesitantly wraps his arm around Luke almost pulling it away when Luke whimpers, thinking he had woken the boy up. However Luke remains asleep and rolls over smiling slightly (which Ashton can't help but blush at, knowing it's because of him) and nuzzles his face into the crook of Ashton's neck.  _And okay, Ashton could definitely get used to this._

"It's okay Lukey, I'm here now" Ashton says, more to himself since Luke is asleep before pressing a gentle kiss to the blonde boy's hair and pulling him even closer.

\---

Luke didn't expect to fall asleep, he just guesses all the crying must've worn him out. And he certainly didn't expect someone to be in bed with him when he did wake up.

He opens his eyes slowly because he was quite warm and actually having a nice dream about Ashton which he kind of didn't want to end. Which in a way it doesn't seem like it's ended, because it's almost as if Luke can smell Ashton.

Well now Luke is even more delusional than he thought,  _great_. Note the sarcasm.

When he does finally open his eyes he realizes he's not alone. There's someone in bed with him, although he can't tell who it is because he's tucked into their side.

Luke shivers suddenly feeling violated, what kind of creep would sneak into bed with him?

The person must've noticed Luke shiver because their arms loosen around Luke and Luke takes the opportunity to shove them off.

"Who the fuck are y-!" Luke exclaims shoving the person off him but he cuts himself off once he realizes who it is.

"A-Ashton?" Luke asks confusedly.

Why is Ashton here? Shouldn't he be at school? What time is it? Is Luke still dreaming?

"That would be me" Ashton says, smiling that goddamn smile that always makes Luke's stomach feel like butterflies having a mosh pit.

"Okay one," Luke says once he's finally managed to process that  _yes_ , it is Ashton in front if him and not some creep and  _no_ , he's not dreaming "don't ever do that again, you scared the shit out of me. I thought you were Thomas or something. And two, why are you here. Not that I mind or anything, but don't you have school?"

"Sorry" Ashton says blushing "I know I should've just went in Cara's bed or something but you looked like you could use some cuddling and I didn't want to leave you".

"Oh, well thanks" Luke says blushing " but just maybe you could let me know next time. You know so I don't think you're some creep or anything" Luke says.

"But I didn't want to wake you" Ashton says "and this shouldn't happen again because you should know it's me from now on".

"So you're saying you're going to randomly come into my dorm and cuddle me?" Luke asks smirking.

"Maybe" Ashton retorts causing Luke to blush.

It's silent for a while until Luke realizes he still doesn't know why Ashton is here.

"So why are you here? Don't you still have school? Or did I sleep all day? I didn't sleep all day, did I? What time is it?" Luke asks.

"No you didn't sleep all day and it's only about 11:30" Ashton says "and as for why I'm here that's a long story".

Luke doesn't say anything and just gives Ashton a look that says 'go on' and the older boy sighs.

"Well this might sound crazy and obsessive" Ashton admits "but basically you weren't answering my texts and-"

"You completely overreacted, wow you're such a twelve year old girl" Luke restorts.

"Hey, don't interrupt me, Hemmings" Ashton giggles and the butterflies start moshing in Luke's stomach again "and I had other reasons too"

"Like what?" Luke asks.

"Well I don't know how to explain it really but I had a feeling that something wasn't right, with you, I mean" Ashton says.

 _Well that's strange_  Luke thinks to himself. How could Ashton have known he was upset?

"And it was worrying me, so much that I couldn't concentrate on my work and I think my teacher noticed because he let me go home sick and didn't question it, even though it was clear I wasn't sick. "Ashton continues and Luke wills himself to focus on what Ashton is saying, he can question how Ashton knew later.

"So I came straight here and went to the cafeteria since it's lunch and I thought maybe you'd be there" Ashton says "and when I got there I saw all your friends at your normal table but you weren't there, so by that point I was really panicking. Cara noticed me and explained that she had been talking to you about something, although she didn't say what, and that you got really upset all of a sudden so she gave you some space. Then she took me up here and let me in and I couldn't find you at first because you were almost completely under the covers. When I did I lifted the covers to see your face and shit, Luke".

Ashton's voice trails off at that part and he looks down.

Luke doesn't know what is making Ashton so upset, he figures maybe Ashton finally realized how ugly he is or something

"You looked so broken..." Ashton says, his voice cracking as he says the last word "it was obvious you had being crying a lot and I just... why?"

Now Luke is suddenly wishing Ashton was telling him how ugly he is. How is he supposed to answer this? Oh yeah, I was crying because I kind of have a gigantic crush on you, but I know you'll never like me back?

Yeah, no. Ashton would think Luke is pathetic if he said that, which Luke knows he is, but that doesn't mean he wants Ashton to know.

"Oh uh- she just -uh brought up my family is all" Luke says and maybe his lie would've been more believable if he didn't stutter like fucking Josh Ramsay in the chorus of the Marianas Trench song 'Stutter'.

Luke can tell Ashton doesn't really believe him but he doesn't press any further and Luke is grateful for that.

"And I'm assuming you don't wanna talk about it? Ashton asks and Luke shakes his head.

"That's fine, I can wait until you're ready" Ashton adds smiling reassuringly at Luke.

"Thank you" Luke says "not just for not making me tell you but for coming here. As obsessive as it might've been I found it kind of sweet. Although I still don't know why you'd do it"

"Because I care about you, dummy" Ashton replies kissing Luke's forehead and Luke knows he must be as red as Santa at the moment.

The place where Ashton's lips touched Luke's forehead is on fire, metaphorically of course. Normally Luke would be afraid of physical contact because living on the streets for a while causes you to develop trust issues,and if that didn't what happened before definitely does, but it's different with Ashton.

Ashton is so gentle and Luke knows he would never do anything to hurt Luke. And he's hesitant which lets Luke know he'd never pressure him into anything. And while if anyone hugged or cuddled Luke without asking first he'd probably feel anxious and violated but not with Ashton. Not only because he's gentle but also because of how safe Luke feels in his arms. He just feels safe with Ashton in general, which makes sense since Ashton is the one who rescued him off the streets and all, but Luke knows there are other reasons for it as well.

Luke knows it's dangerous to be so comfortable around Ashton and that'll only lead to opening up to him. No good things can come of that, not only will Luke come off as whiny and obnoxious but Luke knows if he gets too close to Ashton they'll be taken away like his family was.

"But, why?" Luke asks confused, how could Ashton possibly care about him?

"Because I kind of think you're the most amazing person I've ever met" Ashton says pressing a gentle kiss to Luke's nose.

After Luke recovers from the fact that Ashton just kissed him-sure it wasn't on the lips, but Luke'll take what he can get- he wants to say something. Something like 'you don't have to lie' but he can't. Luke can't bring himself to form coherent sentences or even speak at all with Ashton so close to him.

Luke can't help but be drawn to Ashton's lips, if he leaned forward just a little he'd be kissing Ashton for real. Like he's wanted to do for the past two weeks.

Ashton then licks his lips and gulps slightly and Luke quickly averts his gaze thinking he's creeped Ashton out. Except he doesn't do a very good job at averting because he looks up so no he's looking directly into Ashton's eyes.

Ashton doesn't look creeped out at all though. In fact there's a glint in them and Luke doesn't know what it means but he knows it's a good thing.

Ashton then hesitantly reaches out and cups the side of Luke's face with one of his hands and Luke shuts his eyes as he does. When Luke opens them again Ashton is staring at him intently, the glint brighter now and Luke feels himself lean forward. He doesn't remember his brain telling his body to do this and it's almost like Luke is being magnetically drawn to Ashton's lips.

And Luke is so close,  _he's so close to finally knowing what Ashton's lips feel like against his own,_  but of course the universe hates him. And his body decides to betray him at that moment and his stomach loudly growls startling both boys and Ashton jumps, his hand dropping into his lap.

"You hungry?" Ashton asks and Luke mentally curses.

He was hoping Ashton would ignore that and they could go back to how they were just seconds ago. Except you know, actually kiss this time.

"I- uh- yeah" Luke stutters.

"C'mon let's go get some lunch then" Ashton says getting up" I should probably sign in anyways".

"Yeah okay" Luke says unenthusiastically but following Ashton anyways.

He doesn't want to have lunch now. He just wants to stay there forever and finally discover what it feels like to kiss Ashton, and of course cuddle a lot as well.

\---

"Shit!" Ashton exclaims as he accidentally drops a Christmas ornament.

He and Luke, as well as most of the other people at the shelter are now helping to decorate for Christmas. And he and Luke, as well as Cara and Luke's other friends got assigned to help decorate the Christmas tree.

Ashton knows he should be focusing because he loves decorating for Christmas and actually wants to enjoy it. He also knows he should be listening because there have been a couple of times he's accidentally ignored Luke because he had zoned out and didn't even realize Luke had been speaking to him. Which always results in Luke getting this sad look in his bright blue eyes before looking down sadly and Ashton hates himself for ever making the boy upset.

But he can't focus, he hasn't been able to focus on anything for the past few hours. Ever since he almost kissed Luke.

 _He almost kissed Luke. Fuck._  How could he be so stupid. He knows it's against the rules and he knows Luke probably doesn't feel the same way.

 _Fuck._  If only he was able to control his emotions. He probably freaked Luke out and this will be the end of their friendship. Or whatever they were supposed to be.

Luke has been acting strange ever since that almost kiss as well. He seems upset and hesitant of Ashton. Which only confirms that Ashton did freak him out.

Speaking of Luke, it's his voice who snaps Ashton out of his thoughts and he's brought back to reality and looks at the shattered red glass below him.

"What?" Ashton asks dumbly.

"I asked if you wanted me to get a broom or something so you can clean that" Luke says and Ashton can't help but notice the sad tone of his voice and he looks down sadly again like he has been way too many times these past few hours.

Ashton knows it's because of him and he feels horrible. And yet no matter how many times Ashton has made Luke upset by unintentionally ignoring him, Luke is still offering to help.  _Luke is too sweet and Ashton really doesn't deserve him at all._

"Oh uh no it's fine, I can get one myself" Ashton says before walking off.

He feels horrible for just leaving like that but he can't bare to see Luke upset anymore.

Ashton hears footsteps following him as he walks to a supply closet and he doesn't turn around, expecting it to be Luke. Again Ashton is a piece of shit for ignoring him but he doesn't want to see Luke right now.

Not because of anything Luke did but because of himself. He can't bare to see the fact that he just ruined whatever he and Luke had. And he especially can't bare to see the fact that he's the reason for Luke being upset. Ashton had only ever seen Luke like that when he first found him in that alleyway or whenever something reminded him of his family.

So Ashton's pretty surprised when someone grabs his shirt collar and shoves him against the wall and it reminds Ashton way too much of when he got bullied back in Australia and got shoved against lockers. He then realizes that the person wasn't Luke after all, but is Cara and she's absolutely livid.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" She exclaims.

"Getting a broom, I thought it was rather obvious." Ashton says, he knows she's referring to Luke but he really doesn't want to talk about this right now.

"Don't fucking play dumb with me Irwin, you know I'm talking about Luke" Cara growls "you've been ignoring him all day! I've never seen him so upset! When I let you into our dorm I thought it was because you were going to help him, not make things worse! I actually thought you cared about Luke and even liked him back but I guess I was wrong. And just because you don't like him back doesn't mean you can be a complete dick about it!"

"Luke doesn't like me like that Cara and he never will. And who are you tell me how I feel about him?! You don't know me!" Ashton exclaims.

"So you do you like Luke" Cara says.

"Well no I- I just" Ashton says, cutting himself off when realizes Cara doesn't believe him and he sighs defeatedly.

"Fine, yes. Yes I do like Luke. Are you fucking happy now? Are you going to tell me how undeserving of him I am now, because you don't have to. Trust me I already know I don't deserve him" Ashton says.

"Then fine I won't, but you're even stupider than I thought if you actually think he doesn't like you back. I fucking live with Luke, he's told me things. So now that you know do whatever you'd like with this information, but for the love of god don't be a dick to him. That's not how you show your feelings for someone this isn't fucking kindergarten. And I don't know what Luke's past is but he's been through a lot of shit, don't give him anymore" Cara says letting go of Ashton's shirt before storming off leaving Ashton alone with his thoughts.

Did she really just say Luke likes him back? Ashton can't believe it. Ashton knows that ever since Damon he isn't deserving of love, especially not by Luke. What does Luke even see in him? Ashton doesn't know and frankly he doesn't care.

Not that Ashton doesn't care about Luke or the fact that he likes him back he just doesn't care about the reason he does. All that matters is that Luke likes him back and that's enough for Ashton. For the first time since Damon Ashton's actually found someone he wasn't just physically attracted to, but attracted to everything else about them as well.

Not only that but Ashton can tell hiding his feelings from Luke will only hurt Luke even more. So at this point Ashton decides,  _fuck it,_  he's going to tell Luke how he feels. And he knows exactly how he's going to do it. It might be rather cheesy but Ashton hopes it will work and he also hopes Cara and the rest of Luke's friends will help him. If they're not too pissed at him.

_And honestly fuck the rule about not being able to date the residents, Luke is more important than some stupid rule._

\---

**~1 week later~**

It's Friday again and about 11 pm but Luke honestly doesn't feel as excited today as he did last Friday or any other Friday. Ashton never came after school or if he did, he didn't visit Luke and all of Luke's friends went somewhere in the evening.  _Without even telling him_. So that's how Luke ended up spending his Friday night all alone, bored and watching Elf.

It's not that Elf is a boring movie in fact it's probably Luke's favourite Christmas movie but even Buddy can't cheer Luke up when he's certain Ashton and all his friends now hate him. And Luke doesn't even know what he did. All his friends have been secretive this week and when Luke is with them and leaves for a few minutes to go the bathroom they're always whispering about something when he gets back and immediately stop when they notice him.

Ashton is the one he's most confused about however because he's been treating Luke normally all week. It couldn't have been about the almost kiss because when Ashton came back from getting that broom he was fine again. Luke thinks it had something to do with Cara speaking to him, but regardless, Luke was happy Ashton was talking to him again.

And Luke only sent two texts to Ashton, and they're two hours apart since he doesn't want to seem clingy. However just because Luke doesn't let Ashton know he's not freaking out like a twelve year old when their crush doesn't respond right away, doesn't mean he isn't.

Luke is certain Ashton and all his friends hate him and he's not surprised. He knows he deserves it and he knows no one could ever actually care about him. He was just hoping he could at least have them for a little longer. At least until he has enough money to be able to get a small apartment and doesn't have to go through the awkwardness of seeing them everyday. However it's not like that'll happen anytime soon as Luke is still on the waiting list to get a part time job.

Luke is snapped out of his thoughts by the door opening and he looks over to see Cara.

"Oh hey Luke!" She says cheerfully as if she didn't just ditch Luke for no reason.

"Hey" Luke says flatly.

"Luke, if you're hurt about us acting different this week and leaving today without telling you why, I'm sorry. There's a reason for all this I swear and you'll find out soon enough" Cara says.

Great, a surprise.  _Luke hates surprises._  All of Luke's recent 'surprises' have ended up being terrible news so Luke really isn't all that excited to know what this surprise will be.

"Well I hate surprises" Luke says and he doesn't care if he's being rude.

_Luke figures hiding things from and ditching your friend is way ruder._

"That's understandable, but I'm sure you'll love this one" Cara says.

"I'm sure I won't" Luke grumbles and Cara sighs but doesn't say anything else.

"I'm really tired so I'm gonna shower and go to bed but can you just stay up a bit later. You'll see why." Cara says.

"Fine" Luke sighs.

While Luke isn't particularly excited for this surprise, he is curious as to what it is. And he's curious to see what could be so important that his friends would keep it a secret from him.

Fast forward about fifteen minutes and Luke's phones buzzes alerting him of a text from Ashton.

At first Luke wants to ignore it and not respond. If Ashton wants to play hard to get, that's what he'll get. But then realizes that's stupid and something some douchebag player in high school would do and Luke isn't going to stoop to that level.

So Luke sighs and unlocks his phone to read the text.

_Hey Lukey, I'm so so so sorry I haven't answered all day but I have a reason I swear. I know you're probably mad at me right now and you have every reason to be and I know you probably don't give a fuck about my reason for ignoring you. But I'm heading to the shelter now and should be there within fifteen minutes if the traffic isn't that bad. Please just answer the answer the door when I knock and I swear I'll make it up to you and you'll see the reason I didn't answer. Again I'm so fucking sorry, I really I am. I didn't want to ignore you but I didn't want to ruin the surprise or anything and I was kind of too busy with that to be able to respond. Please Luke, just answer the door and I swear I'll make it up to you. And btw dress warmly._

_-Ashy_

Yes Ashton's name in Luke's phone is 'Ashy', sue him. He's never actually called Ashton that he just thought it would be a cute thing to call him if they ever got to  _that_  level. Which Luke knows will never happen but he can dream, okay?

Luke kind of just wants to ignore Ashton and he can show up whether Luke answers the door or not. But again, that's petty and Luke doesn't want to go to that level.

So he responds but he makes sure Ashton knows it's not okay to ignore him and he won't be forgiven that easily. Luke may hate himself but he still some what respects himself and won't let people walk all over him if he can prevent it.

**Fine, but this better be good enough to make it up to me.**

**-Luke**

_Thank you, and again I'm really sorry. I don't know if this will be enough to deserve your forgiveness because you deserve the world but it's the best I can do. See you soon._

_-Ashy_

Luke blushes at the 'you deserve the world' part but then stops because Ashton probably isn't being serious. This is probably just a tactic to get Luke to forgive him easily and Luke won't fall for that. Although something in the back of Luke's head tells him Ashton isn't like that and deep down Luke knows it's the truth.

Luke doesn't respond to the text since there's not really much he can say and now that Cara is out of the bathroom he decides to have a shower and at least look somewhat presentable.

He's still pissed at Ashton of course but he still doesn't want to look like complete shit when he gets here. He also doesn't know where Ashton plans on taking him but he's sure Ashton will look flawless as always and he doesn't want people to stare and wonder why Ashton would be with a trash can like him.

\---

So that's how Luke ends up lying on his bed about half an hour later wearing some black jeans and a red flannel which is buttoned up over a black long sleeved shirt as he took Ashton's advice to dress warmly. He also has a grey beanie on because his hair was just not working today, or tonight, and he was gonna end up wearing a hat anyways, so there's no point.

Luke also thought he had to rush and only really had time to blow dry it. However Luke now realizes he could've spent more time on it as Ashton was supposed to show up fifteen minutes ago and hasn't yet.

Luke's trying not to worry too much though as Ashton said there could be traffic. Besides it's pretty hard to focus on his thoughts when Cara is snoring like a trucker in the bed across from him.

However it isn't Cara that snaps Luke out of his thoughts this time, instead it's a knock on the door.

Luke swings the door open and before he even has it fully open Ashton is spewing apologies. And it's Ashton, so he's rather loud and will probably wake someone if he isn't quieter. And Luke knows nothing good will come of Ashton getting caught visiting him at midnight, so Luke lightly places his hand over Ashton's mouth to muffle his voice before pulling him inside and closing the door.

"Do you wanna get caught?" Luke asks removing his hand from Ashton's mouth and Ashton shakes his head. Or at least he thinks he does, he can't really tell because it's dark, so Luke turns on a light to see Ashton better and Ashton takes that as a cue to start babbling again.

"Shit Luke, I'm sorry I was late but I was getting kind of tired so I stopped at Starbucks and the line was really long. I also figured you'd be tired, and if you aren't you will be eventually, so I got you some since I know you can have coffee now. I didn't know what you liked though so I just got the peppermint white chocolate mocha since it's my favourite. I don't know if you'll like it though, I can always get you something else." Ashton rambles.

"Ashton" Luke says and Ashton finally stops talking and looks up at him with curious hazel eyes.

It's then that Luke decides to take in Ashton's appearance and damn, of course he expected Ashton to look good because he always does, but he didn't expect him to look  _this_  good.

He's wearing a grey beanie just like Luke's, but of course he looks a million times better in it than Luke does. And of course of Ashton was able to get his fringe to stick out of it perfectly. He's also wearing blacks jeans and a dark grey sweater that is rather tight and shows off his muscles. He's dressed as if he's going on a date and not just hanging out with some kid from the homeless shelter he volunteers at.

And  _no_ , Luke thinks to himself _you're still supposed to be mad at him, it doesn't matter if he looks like a Greek god._

"I like your hat" Ashton giggles snapping Luke out of his thoughts.

And okay, Ashton is making it really hard to stay mad at when he's being hot as hell and adorable at the same time.

"You were saying something and I interrupted you, I'm sorry, you can continue now" Ashton says.

"I was?" Luke says dumbly and oh yeah, the coffee.

Well now it's totally obvious Luke was checking him out although Ashton doesn't seem to be weirded out by it. Instead he's smirking at Luke and if Luke wasn't... well  _Luke_  he'd think Ashton is flirting with him.

"Oh yeah I was just saying that peppermint mochas are actually my favourite and even if they weren't it's the thought that counts" Luke says "but I just have to get my coat on and then we can go, and don't you have a coat?"

"Oh yeah I just took it off in the Starbucks bc it was really hot and left in the car to cool" Ashton says and Luke laughs.

"What?" Ashton asks.

"You left it to cool" Luke giggles.

"Yeah what's wrong with that?" Ashton asks confused.

"Nothing, it's just the way you said it. You made it sound like food or something" Luke says.

"Oh, well I guess I did" Ashton laughs "and speaking kid things getting cold, the coffee is going to if you don't hurry the fuck up!" Ashton teases.

"I'm only taking long because you won't shut the fuck up" Luke retorts.

"Just shut up and get ready, Hemmings" Ashton laughs.

Luke goes to grab his coat and he can't help but notice Ashton's gaze on him as he does. He hears Ashton mutter a small 'damn' under his breath and immediately spins around thinking there's something on him.

"What?! Is there something on me?!" Luke asks frantically.

"Oh you heard that?" Ashton blushes and it just might be the most adorable thing Luke has ever seen "and to answer your question no there's nothing on you, red just really suits you."

"Oh well thanks" Luke says blushing now "but if you think Starbucks and compliments are gonna make me forgive you it's not gonna work. I'm not easy like that."

"Oh I never said you were  _easy_  "Ashton winks making Luke blush "no but really, you look amazing, Lukey. Not that you don't always but just.. yeah. Wear red more often."

"Oh well thanks" Luke blushes putting his coat on and zipping it up before putting on his boots, scarf and gloves.

"You ready to go now?" Ashton asks.

"Yeah" Luke says and Ashton nods and hands Luke's the coffee after he has the door locked.

It's actually at the perfect temperature and tastes even more amazing than Luke thought.

"C'mon then" Ashton says grabbing Luke's hand making sparks shoot up his arm and he blushes and knows he must be redder than his shirt.

And even though he's still pissed at Ashton, or is at least trying to be, he doesn't pull his hand away. It's warm and comforting and this might be the only chance Luke has to hold hands with Ashton, why would he ruin that?

\---

"Okay this is gonna sound weird" Ashton says parking the car on the side of a street "but could you put a blindfold on, I want this to be a surprise and well, yeah".

"Like a surprise murder?" Luke retorts.

"Well, damn now you've ruined the surprise" Ashton retorts "No but really, could you? It's fine if you don't want to but I don't want you to see any of the surprise before we get there. "

"As long as you don't let me run into a streetlight or anything" Luke says.

"Well you're no fun" Ashton teases before grabbing a bandana out of his pocket and handing it to Luke "use this then, but you should probably get our of the car first."

"You wouldn't help me get out of the car, wow fuck you too, then" Luke retorts before getting out of the car.

" I know I'm irresistible and all but I don't do that stuff on the first date" Ashton says Luke ends up tying his finger in the makeshift blindfold when Ashton says the word 'date'.

Of course Luke knows he's only kidding. It's not a date and it never will be but that doesn't stop his heart from skipping a beat at the word.

"You need help with that?" Ashton asks and Luke knows he's doing that stupid smirk which Luke isn't sure weather he wants to kiss or punch it off his stupid pretty face.

And now Luke sounds like a twelve year old girl, great. Luke really hates Ashton sometimes. Luke Hemmings does not get giddy over guys for fucks sake and he certainly doesn't cry over them. What has Ashton done to him?

Luke's heartbeat speeds up even more when Ashton's hand grabs his and unknots the bandana from around his finger before tying it again.

"Stay there for a second while I grab something from the trunk" Ashton says.

"Grab what?" Luke asks.

"My axe, but really, if I went to the lengths of getting one of my bandanas to use as a blindfold so it wouldn't ruin the surprise, why would I ruin it by telling you what I'm getting?" Ashton laughs.

"Jeez maybe I thought it didn't have any relevance to where we were going, there's no need to be so rude, Irwin" Luke retorts.

"Well it does, so you'll just have to shut up and wait" Ashton retorts.

"So far you're doing a shitty job at making things up to me, you're just being ru-" Luke starts but stops mid sentence when Ashton's hand grabs his.

Luke follows Ashton's lead only stumbling once, which Ashton claims is 'not his fault' because 'he couldn't see the raise in the sidewalk in the dark'. However the way he laughs at Luke's near death experience says other wise. Although he does catch Luke so Luke figures that makes up for almost killing him. Yes, Luke knows his logic is flawed and no, he doesn't care.

"Okay we're here, you can take it off now." Ashton says.

Luke follows and takes the bandana off and can't help but let out a gasp when he sees what Ashton had been hiding and ever so gracefully drops the bandana.

They're at the skating rink Ashton and Luke went to the first day they hung out outside of the shelter. There's no one else there obviously, as it's way past closing time. However all the Christmas lights that were set up around the rink are on. However Luke can tell Ashton, probably with the help of his friends, which Luke now feels guilty for assuming they betrayed him, added more to the rink. Like the candles that are set all along the boards outlining the rink, and the table that's set up in the centre with food on it. Ashton even went to the lengths of putting lights on the hockey nets, probably so they're easier to see.

If Luke wasn't Luke he would probably think that this was date or something but of course he knows it never will be. But if this is what Ashton's friends get Luke doesn't even want to imagine what his boyfriends would get. And honestly he  _can't_  even imagine bc what could top this?

"You're silent..." Ashton's voice snaps Luke from his thoughts "that means you don't like it, do you? Is it too cheesy? God I'm so st-"

"Hey, no" Luke says cutting Ashton off, not wanting to hear him put himself down. "I like it, really. It's amazing. I'm just in shock. I don't why you'd do all this for me. How did you even?"

"Well it wasn't that hard to be honest I just rented out the rink. I could've always just hijacked it, is that even proper grammar, can you hijack something that's not a vehicle? Anyways I could've been badass and done that but getting arrested isn't really on my bucket list or anything and I wouldn't be able to volunteer if I had a criminal or record or ever come back here or-. And okay I'm getting off topic again, sorry for that. But yeah I just rented the rink and the got your friends to help me set up the table and candles and some of the stuff we cooked today's and the rest throughout the week. It wasn't that hard to be honest" Ashton says.

"You're right hijacking it would've been cooler" Luke retorts" but I still don't get why you'd do that".

"Well I was getting to that but you just had to interrupt me" Ashton teases.

"I didn't interrupt you!" Luke protests "I thought you were done speaking!"

"Okay Luke, I believe you." Ashton retorts.

"Stop avoiding the question,Ashton" Luke says.

"Jeez someone's grumpy, who stole your snickers?" Ashton grumbles.

"Well I'm hungry and that food is taunting me and you're just standing here not even answering my questions, and the sooner you answer the sooner I can eat!" Luke says.

"Chill princess, well eat soon" Ashton says and Luke can't help but blush and the nickname, but solely because it's embarrassing, not for any other reason " and I was going to answer but you're interrupted me! Again!"

Ashton's laughing now and Luke can't help but laugh as well.  _Fuck Ashton Irwin and his contagious laugh._

"Sorry" Luke says once they finish laughing.

"It's fine" Ashton says "and as for why I did all this well... it's because...because..."

"Because why?" Luke asks cutting Ashton off once again, although this time it's on purpose to annoy Ashton and it totally works.

"Luke!" Ashton exclaims

"Okay, okay I'm sorry" Luke apologizes.

"I brought you here because... I don't know you just mean a lot to me and I wanted to show you somehow." Ashton says.

Luke should be flattered at that and crying and he is flattered, really. He can't believe anyone, especially Ashton, would ever do something like this for him. And he's more thankful for this, and for Ashton, than words can express. However there's a small part of him that can't help but be upset. There's a small delusional part of him that expected Ashton to confess his undying love for him and Luke would admit his and then they'd kiss like in some cheesy romance novel.

But no this is the real world. And while this might be cheesy romance novel date worthy, it isn't. And he and Ashton will never be like that. And it hurts to be honest.  _In fact it fucking kills Luke_.

And Luke knows that he's trash and would never deserve someone like Ashton in million years but that doesn't mean he doesn't want him. Fuck.  _He wants Ashton so bad._

"Oh" Luke says sadly and fuck, that was it meant to come out like that.  _That wasn't meant to come out at all._

And the fact that Luke is the most terrible human being on earth is only confirmed when Ashton looks down and bites his lip like he's trying not to cry.

It's quick and in a nanosecond he's shaking his head before looking back up at Luke and smiling, although it's not very genuine. Luke knows Ashton's genuine smile like he knows the lyrics to every fall out boy song and that's certainly not it.

"That's all you have to say, is 'oh'." Ashton says pretending to laugh but Luke can tell he's really hurt inside.

"No, fuck I didn't meant it like that, Ash I swear. This is amazing and I can't believe you'd do this for me. Don't think I'm not grateful, because I am. So grateful. It's just no ones ever done something like this for me. And I'm not used to people telling me they care ever since... ever since  _them_. But yeah I don't- I don't even know what to say or do." Luke says.

"Oh" Ashton says and Luke can't help but laugh.

"That's all you have to say is 'oh'" Luke teases imitating Ashton.

"Shut up!" Ashton laughs playfully hitting Luke's shoulder "I don't sound like that!".

"Yeah you do" Luke retorts.

"No I don't!" Ashton protests.

"Yeah"

"No"

"Yeah"

" _Luke_ "

" _Ashton_ "

"Lucas Robert Hemmings" Ashton whines.

"Okay one, my names not Lucas and two, how do you know my middle name?" Luke asks.

"I have my resources" Ashton's winks "like the fact you told me"

"When? I don't remember telling you." Luke says.

"When we played 21 questions when I texted you bored in history that one time. I can see who cares more about this relationship" Ashton says the last part jokingly.

"Because you've only ever texted me while you were bored in history once" Luke says sarcastically. "But seriously I remember now"

"What's my middle name then?" Ashton asks.

'Hmm... it started with an f, fuckboy or something" Luke teases.

"Luke!" Ashton exclaims.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding, it's Fletcher" Luke says.

"You're lucky you remembered that, and also, even though that insult was directed towards me I have to admit it was pretty good." Ashton says.

"Well I did have the best teacher" Luke says.

"Me. Aww you're too sweet" Ashton says and even thought he's teasing Luke can't help but blush.

"No I meant Cara" Luke says.

"Wow, fuck you too then let's eat so I can drown my sorrows the the fact you're so mean to me in carbs." Ashton says.

"Good I thought we were never going to eat and I was just going to have to keep talking to you" Luke retorts.

Ashton ignores his insult and picks up a giant hockey bag that looks heavier than a Tyrannosaurus Rex, which Luke realizes he carried from how ever far away the car is.

"You carried that all the way here?! I could've helped!" Luke says.

"Well I didn't want to ruin the surprise, and besides, I can handle this" Ashton says cheesily before flexing and Luke rolls his eyes.

"You're an idiot" Luke says rolling his eyes.

"Don't act like you don't love it" Ashton's winks before strutting off, which looks rather funny with the giant hockey bag " Oh yeah, put your skates on before you get on the ice, I'll get fined $5000 if you fuck up the ice. "

"And you wouldn't be willing to be fined $5000 for me. Wow, some friend you are." Luke retorts.

"I'd get fined a million dollars for you, I'd just prefer not to" Ashton says.

He says it jokingly but Luke can't help but feel like part of it is true, although that's probably the delusional part of him.

Regardless, Luke can't help the giant blush that forms on his face and only grows when Ashton takes Luke's hand in his and intertwines their gloved fingers.

\---

Ashton had made some sandwiches, pasta salad, a bunch of desserts ranging from cookies to cupcakes and even pie. He said he felt bad that they couldn't've have a hot meal because it would've gotten cold to which Luke said was 'ridiculous' and Ashton 'didn't have to make him anything at all, let alone a hot meal'.

After they ate Ashton and Luke packed up the leftover food, it was great but there was a lot and they both couldn't eat any more, and the foldable tables and chairs and put on them on the sidelines so they could have the whole rink to skate on.

At first they just skated normally and Ashton ended up grabbing Luke's hand halfway throughout which made Luke blush but of course he didn't pull away.

Then Ashton said Luke should practice taking shots off Ashton who claimed 'he really needs to improve his goalie skills'. So Luke agreed and Ashton ended up putting on the goalie equipment and they did just that.

But not without Ashton telling Luke not to take any slapshots because he doesn't want ' the candles to get knocked over and burn the whole rink down'. Luke doesn't even think he even knows how to take a slapshot let alone one that could knock over candles but Ashton doesn't need to know that.

Which brings us to the present.

They've been playing for about an hour, and of course they skated for about an hour before and ate and had to get he arena so Luke figured it's now around 3:30 am.

The combination of the big meal they had and the cold have helped to keep Luke awake but still ,it's really late and Luke is definitely starting to feel the effects of it.

His shots are getting weaker and his vision is even a little cloudy like it always gets when you're really tired and he can tell Ashton is getting tired to as he's letting in a lot of goals.

Luke decides to ignore his body's needs however because he's with Ashton and he doesn't want this to end any sooner than it has too.

So Luke takes a shot which is probably the tenth one in a row that Ashton had let in and out of frustration Ashton shoots the puck to the other end of the ice.

"Go get that" Ashton says.

"Why do I do have to, you're the one who shot it over there!" Luke says, the process of skating to the other end of the ice and back seeming equal to climbing Mount Everest at this point.

"Because you're the one who scored on me ten times in a row and didn't have the decency to go easy on me!" Ashton whines.

"I was going on easy on you" Luke says and the glare Ashton shoots at him makes Luke fear for his life and suddenly the task of getting the puck seems like a lot of fun.

When Luke finally reaches the puck he turns band around and starts skating towards Ashton who has know taken all his goalie equipment off and left it in the net and Luke figures he wants to leave now. However when Luke reaches him he doesn't say anything about wanting to go and he actually doesn't seem that tired.

Was he letting those goals in on purpose? Why? If he's not tired, then why did he leave the net?

Luke isn't allowed to ponder on it for very long before Ashton speaks.

"I should've told you this earlier when you asked, but I'm a fucking coward and I chickened out" Ashton says "but do you want to know the real reason I did all this for you?"

Luke can only nod, not really knowing what to expect next and Ashton skates closer to Luke so their faces are millimetres apart and Luke can feel Ashton's breath on his lips. Luckily for Luke he's at least awake enough to muster up the willpower to not kiss Ashton right then, as it'll ruin the moment and whatever he and Ashton have between them.

"I know haven't really talked about him in detail, only mentioned him, but my ex Damon really fucked me up. And I know you probably don't really want to hear this and you shouldn't bring up exes on the first date but I'm gonna tell you anyways." Ashton says and Luke decides to not point out the fact Ashton referred to this as a date, as it was probably just a slip up and it would be rude to interrupt.

"But he was my first serious boyfriend and being young and naive I thought that meant I was in love with him. At the start of our relationship he was really sweet and would always take me on the cutest dates. I was actually a nerd in school and bullied for being gay and my only friend was my best friend Michael. Damon on the other hand was the complete opposite, he was captain of the soccer team and every girl wanted to date him and every guy wanted to be him, or date him if they were into that.

And that included me because I was naive and he was the hot older bad boy. Anyways he was known for being a jerk and a player and he and his friends used to always bully me. However that all changed one day.

The day Michael and I decided to try out for the soccer team. We only did it as a joke because we were both shit at soccer but somehow we ended up making the team, though of course we were only benchwarmers. I remember Damon was always encouraging and helpful, especially towards to me at the tryouts and practices. He even let me play quite a lot in the games, way more than Michael, which I felt bad about, but Michael insisted he didn't really care.

One day after we won a game against one of the toughest teams in the league, which I ended up helping in by scoring two goals, the whole team celebrated by going to our favourite restaurant. Damon asked me to come back to his place, just the two of us after, since he said I was the star of the game and we should have our own celebration.

And yeah you can guess what he meant by that" Ashton says the last part ashamed and Luke feels angry at this guy for taking advantage of Ashton like that.

"Did he-" Luke starts but Ashton cuts him off.

"No, god no. It wasn't like  _that._  It was consensual and all and I wanted it. Although I did feel guilty because he had a girlfriend, and partially scared because she was captain of the cheer team and would've shred my at part with her acrylic nails if she found out, but I guess not guilty enough to stop it. And at first it was just sex and of course no one else knew at that point so I was basically his slut."

"Ashton don't call yourself that" Luke says.

"Why, it's true. That's what I was to him, well at first. He'd invite me over whenever he was 'lonely' and I'd go because I was lonely too and I thought that's what relationships were supposed be like." Ashton says biting his lip like he's trying not to cry which makes Luke want to cry.

"Ash, you're not a slut, don't call yourself that. You were just young and had a crush and he took advantage of that. You're the most caring person I've ever met and you've done way for me than I deserve. And you care so genuinely about others even if they don't feel the same way about you. You're honestly the most amazing person I've ever met" Luke says wiping away a tear on Ashton's cheek before kissing the spot where it was making the older boy blush.

"Thank you Lukey" Ashton says smiling sadly "and I wasn't even supposed to talk about him this much. I definitely didn't bring you here to cry over my ex".

"It's okay if you're not over him, Ash" Luke says.

"Oh I am over him" Ashton says "I know I am and you'll know why I know later. I might not be over what he did because there definitely were dark parts about our relationship that I don't wanna think about and might not be over. But I'm definitely over him."

Luke doesn't really say anything he just grabs Ashton's hand and rubs comforting circles on the back of Ashton's palm with his thumbs. This always helps calm Luke down when Ashton does it to him so Luke figures it will help. It must work because Ashton's breathing evens out and he doesn't haven't that anxious look in his eyes anymore. Ashton smiles sadly at Luke who returns it and gives him a look that tells him to continue with the story.

"So anyways despite the fact our relationship was just physical at first I still fell for him even more. I don't know whether it was because of the sex, or because he was the first serious boyfriend I ever had, or because he was still encouraging on the field even though the only other times he really spoke to me outside of that was when were fucking, or if it was because I liked how it was secretive and forbidden. It could have been because of a lot of factors. But anyways I ended up falling for him and when I say falling I just mean my crush got bigger. I wasn't in love him or anything. I thought I was during our relationship and for quite a while after but now I realize I was wrong. But again, you'll find out why later.

Anyways, he claimed loved me and had slowly fallen for me and actually ended up breaking up with his girlfriend for me so I figured it was legit. And for the first part of our relationship, two years actually, it seemed that way. He'd take me on cute dates and buy me things and even came out with me. And his ex and her friends and even some of my teammates gave me shit for it and claimed that I 'turned him' as if I was a fucking monster or something. And Damon actually stuck up for me, he actually stuck up for me. He stood up to his popular friends for me, the nerdy gay kid. So of course I thought that meant he loved me. How could I not?

Throughout our whole relationship Michael and my mum didn't approve of it. I told my mum she didn't know Damon like I did and that she was just being paranoid. And I actually told Michael that he was just jealous because the most popular kid in school liked me and was willing to risk his popularity for me. Which I now know was a really fucking shitty thing to say and Michael is an angel for still being my friend throughout that and I really don't deserve him.

Anyways, about a year and a half into my relationship with Damon my mum got a promotion which we had to end up moving here to pursue. Of course I was sad about leaving Michael and Damon and moving halfway across the world, but I knew my mum would make a lot more money at her new job and we wouldn't be struggling anymore. Like I said, I thought I was in love with Damon at that point and I was more than willing to try long distance. And it went great at first, or at least it appeared to be.

Flash forward to about a year ago when I found out he had been cheating on me with this girl name Kylie and had been basically ever since I left Australia. No hate to Kylie though, she had no idea and was just as heartbroken as I was when I found out. Instead of crying about it she ended up dealing with it by getting revenge on him and moving to my old school and making his life a living hell. So she's now one of my best friends and her and Michael ended up falling for each other throughout that and she makes him really happy. And if I wasn't friends with her before that because of how much of an evil genius she is I'd still like her just because of how happy she makes Michael." Ashton pauses and Luke takes that as a cue to speak.

"That's really shitty what Damon did and I don't blame you for taking a while to get over it. It's nice that Kylie is cool though and she ended up dating Michael. Do you happen to remember where Damon

lives so I can beat the shit out of him"? Luke says making Ashton laugh.

Why is he laughing? Luke was being serious.

"While I appreciate the fact that you'd go all the way to Australia to beat up my dick of an ex for me, you don't have to worry. I'm sure Kylie would take care of that if you ask her. And no offence Lukey, but I can't really picture you beating anyone up. You're too sweet and adorable" Ashton says making Luke blush.

"I actually take very much offence to that" Luke retorts.

"Very much offence? God, you're so cute" Ashton says before kissing Luke's cheek making him blush even harder.

"I am not, I'm terrifying" Luke argues.

"As terrifying as a baby penguin" Ashton retorts.

"Well I actually happen to love penguins and know for a fact they're actually fucking badass, especially the babies so the joke's on you, Iriwin" Luke says.

"Okay Luke, whatever you say" Ashton says "now you wanna know how I know I never loved Damon and why I brought you here?"

"Well yeah, it's only what I've been waiting all night for" Luke retorts.

"Shut up, Luke" Ashton laughs.

"So I know I never loved Damon and do you want to know why I know that" Ashton says.

"Yes I clearly do and I'll leave if you make me wait any longer" Luke says.

"Oh I don't think you'll want to leave now" Ashton says "anyways the reason I know is because I happen to be in love right now."

 _Great._  Now Ashton will tell Luke about the love of his life and he'll have to act like it doesn't tear him apart inside. Fuck he'll probably even bring the guy here and have Luke meet him. Great.  _Just great_.

"I might not have known this guy for very long but I've never felt about anyone else the way I do about him." Ashton says.

And it sounds like Ashton has the same feelings for this guy that Luke has for him.  _How fucking great._

"He's the most gorgeous person I've ever met, inside and out and I know he hates himself for some reason. And I don't know why because he's amazing and I want to show him how amazing he is to me. And I know he had a troubled past and I don't know what it is but I want to help him with that too. And even though I barely know him and haven't for very long I can honestly say I want to spend the rest of my life loving him and protecting him. And you know what, Lukey?" Ashton asks.

Before Luke even has time to say 'what' Ashton gently places a hand at the back of Luke's head and gently pulls Luke's lips down to his.

Luke is surprised because no amount of dreaming about Ashton kissing him could prepare him for the real deal. And never in a million years would Luke have expected it to actually happen.

Once Luke's brain finally starts working and processes the fact that yes,Ashton is kissing him and yes, it feels way better than Luke could even imagine he kisses back. He follows Ashton's lead, because you know, that's kind of how kissing works and while Luke may not be the greatest kisser or has only ever kissed two other people he still knows the basics of it.

One was his boyfriend that he dated in freshman and the beginning of sophomore year in high school until well... until Luke's life went to shit. Luke didn't feel like being in a relationship after that terrible night and he didn't want to bestow his emotional burdens on the other boy who's only worries in life were if he'd pass his classes. Luke's lucky his ex was pretty cool and not a total jerk like Ashton's. And they'd probably still be friends if Luke hadn't of moved. But Luke hasn't even talked to Calum since he moved , so why would talk to his ex?

And speaking of Calum, yes, Calum is the other guy he kissed. It was a shameful night. Basically when Luke was like twelve he thought he liked Calum as more than a friend which he soon learned he didn't. He just liked boys. Calum was cool about though, which is one of the many reasons why he's the greatest friend ever.

So Luke follows Ashton's lead and Luke knows he's not very good, let alone as amazing as Ashton's is but the other boy hasn't pulled away repulsed yet, so he takes that as sign that's he doing half decently. Ashton wraps his arm that isn't holding Luke's head around the younger boy's waist and Luke loves it so much when Ashton does that.

It makes him feel so safe and  _loved_. Luke has finally found the word to truly describe how it feels. At first Luke thought Ashton just cared about him as a friend but he know that's not the truth. Ashton loves him and certainly as more than a friend. Luke might have a hard time believing that, but he knows it's true.

Luke puts all of his mediocre kissing skills into this kiss because that's honestly all he's got. And Ashton deserves to have Luke at least give him the best he can.

Luke moves his arms so they're wrapped around Ashton's shoulders and tries to pull him even closer to which Ashton moans, yes Luke actually made Ashton moan, and okay, this is starting to sound less PG13 and more x rated.

After a few minutes both boys pull away breathless and rest their foreheads on each other's like in a really cheesy romance novel. But in Luke's defence he doesn't think he can support holding his head up and falling on his ass onto ice isn't really something he pictured himself doing after kissing Ashton.

"Fuck" both boys whisper simultaneously and then laugh because they are now the epitome of cheesy romance novels.

"That person is you" Ashton says once they've finally caught their breath.

"Well no shit Sherlock, and I think it's obvious I like you back, and yeah spending the rest of my life with you would pretty sick. But that better not have been a proposal.  _I'm only sixteen_ " Luke says making Ashton giggle.

And Luke can honestly say that not only was this the best night of his life but kissing Ashton was the best experience of his life.

\---

"And guess what, Lukey?" Ashton says and he knows it's now or never.

He already chickened out on telling Luke once before and he does not want to repeat that. Ashton does not want to end this night without kissing Luke.

So he places a hand at the back of Luke's head so it's level with his before pressing his lips to the younger boy's and  _fuck_  Ashton's dreams and other kisses don't even come close to this.  _And Luke isn't even kissing back yet._

Which makes Ashton panic inside a little. Does Luke not like him back? Is this too much too soon? Is he taking advantage of Luke? Is Luke uncomfortable? Fuck, Ashton's no better than Damon.

However those thoughts are quickly forgotten when Luke kisses back, and Ashton figured maybe he was just shocked.

Ashton can tell Luke hasn't had much experience with kissing but he honestly doesn't mind. It's  _Luke_  he's kissing for crying out loud, and plus it's also kind of adorable that Luke is pretty new to this.

Ashton places his free arm around Luke's waist to tell him 'I'm here and I love you' and also of course to tell him 'you're doing good babe'.

Ashton feels Luke put even more effort into his kisses now and not only does it feel amazing, but it's also really endearing. Luke then wraps his arms around Ashton's shoulders and pulls him even closer and Ashton can't help but let out at small moan.

This is so amazing.  _Luke is so amazing_. How could he ever call what he had with Damon love?  _This is what love is._

After a few minutes Ashton is running out breath and he can tell Luke is too but he's continuing for Ashton. It's things like that that make Ashton want to cry because _fuck_  Luke is too sweet and adorable.

Ashton rests his forehead on Luke's staring into his bright blue eyes like this is the notebook or some shit like that. It's nice though, even if it is really cheesy.

"Fuck" he and Luke whisper simultaneously and he and Luke both laugh because this couldn't this get any cheesier. But it's Luke so, Ashton really doesn't mind at all.

"That person is you" Ashton says, remembering he has to finish that line so his speech can reach it's true dramatic and cheesy potential.

"Well no shit Sherlock" Luke retorts and Luke's sarcasm is one of the many reasons why Ashton loves him "and I think it's obvious I like you back, and yeah spending the rest of my life with you would be pretty sick. But that better not have been a proposal. I'm only sixteen".

Luke is sweet and funny and gorgeous and pretty much every other good quality someone could have and Ashton is so far gone.

"God, you're so fucking cute, I love you so much" Ashton says kissing Luke quickly.

"I love you too, Ashy" Luke says "can I call you that? Or is it too cheesy?"

"You can call me whatever you like, baby" Ashton says.

"Okay whatever you say fuckshit" Luke retorts making Ashton laugh.

 _"Luke_ " Ashton whines "that was supposed to be a cute moment and you ruined it."

Luke opens his mouth and to say something but it's cut off by a yawn and that has to be the most adorable thing Ashton has ever seen and he kisses Luke quickly again. And Ashton has decides that's what he's gonna do whenever Luke does something cute because that guarantees that Ashton can kiss him at least a million times a day.

"Well damn, you should of confessed your love for me sooner if I knew you were gonna kiss me this much" Luke smirks.

"Shut up" Ashton retorts.

"Make me" Luke quips.

"Fine" Ashton says rolling his eyes but kissing Luke anyways.

"There you go, now c'mon. We should go it's like 4:30 am and you're clearly struggling to stay awake." Ashton says.

"I'm not tired, I'm wide aw-" Luke tried to protest but cuts himself off with a yawn and blushes in defeat and of course Ashton kisses him again.

"Yeah you are, now c'mon" Ashton says grabbing Luke's hand and pulling him along which is pretty easy since Luke is on skates.

"No" Luke says trying to dig his skates into the ice so he doesn't move but it obviously doesn't work and Ashton has to put his arms around the younger boys waist to stop him from falling. "I don't wanna go back to the shelter. I wanna stay with you."

"Then let's go back to my place then, I'll tell Brendon to tell the office I got you early so they won't know you snuck out." Ashton says.

"Okay! Give me a piggy back ride then because I'm tired as fuck you majestic stallion" Luke exclaims before jumping onto Ashton's back almost killing them both in the process.

"You're lucky I'm a good skater, Luke or this would've ended disastrously." Ashton teases.

And when Luke doesn't respond Ashton realizes he's already fallen asleep.

"Goodnight, Lukey" Ashton whispers smiling fondly and putting his hands underneath Luke's legs to support him better.

Ashton's never given a piggyback ride to someone over 5 feet let alone someone who's 6'4 but this is  _Luke_ , and he really doesn't mind at all.

Ashton skates over to one of the benches and lays Luke down on the bench which is rather difficult since Luke is like a fucking skyscraper. But he's cute, so Ashton really can't complain at all. He takes off his scarf and sets it under Luke's head as a sort of pillow. Sure Ashton's neck might be cold now but Luke's comfort is more important than Ashton's warmth.

"You couldn't have at least waited until I got skates my off" Ashton whispers as he takes his skates off. "And now I have to clean everything myself. You planned this, didn't you? I bet you're not even really asleep".

Luke doesn't respond so Ashton figures maybe he really is asleep after all.

Besides Ashton really doesn't mind cleaning, he wasn't going to make Luke clean up after their first date anyways. And it's not like he's tired since he dumped a five hour energy shot into his coffee before he got Luke.

"God, now I have to take your skates off too" Ashton says untying one of Luke's skates once he's got his boots back on " you're lucky I love you or else I'd wake you and make you do this".

Ashton decides he should go get his car first and park it closer to the rink so he can just put everything in the trunk easily and keep an eye on Luke while he sleeps in the back seats.

So once he's got Luke's boots on he takes his scarf and puts it back on, of course he sets Luke's head on his lap as he does that because why would make his boyfriend lie his head on the cold hard bench.

Ashton then realizes he just referred to Luke as his boyfriend and he can't help but blush. He's not even sure if that's what they are. Sure they did just admit their feelings for each other and kiss a lot, but it's not like they explicitly called each their boyfriends.

The label makes Ashton blush as he'd actually quite like to be Luke's boyfriend. Though of course that's up to Luke. Sure Luke returns Ashton's feelings but maybe he isn't comfortable with labels just yet and Ashton would never pressure Luke into something he doesn't want.

Ashton shakes the thoughts from his head and picks up Luke deciding to leave the hockey bag for now because it would be hard to carry it and Luke at the same time. No one stole the table he left unattended so he figures it should be pretty safe.

It takes Ashton about fifteen minutes to reach his car and he lays Luke down in the back seat and uses his scarf as a pillow again before getting in the driver's seat and driving cautiously down the street since he doesn't want to have to come to any sudden stops and send Luke flying.

Luckily there's a small parking lot right next to the rink and since it's obviously empty he's able to get the closet spot.

It only takes Ashton about ten minutes to pack everything since he and Luke already packed up the food and tables so all he needs to do is pick those up along with the hockey sticks. The only part that takes less than a minute is taking the lights off the net and packing them and putting his goalie equipment in the hockey bag.

The bag along with the table and chairs manages to fit in the trunk while the sticks, food and lights fit in the spot in the back where someone's feet would go. Ashton then shuts off all the lights to the rink using the key for the generator the woman gave to him when he rented it and leaves a thank you note on the front counter promising to return the keys and Luke's skates the next day, before locking the door to the building of the rink and locking the gate that surrounds it.

He reaches his car in the parking lot where Luke is still sound asleep and Ashton sighs because he know has to face the dreaded task of waking Luke up for the car ride.

"Hey Luke" Ashton says opening the door of the back seat and poking Luke's shoulder to which the younger boy only groans and rolls over in response.

"C'mon babe, you're gonna have to get up now" Ashton says running his fingers through the fringe sticking out from underneath Luke's beanie.

"Fuck off" Luke mumbles sleepily swatting Ashton's hands away.

"That's not what you normally say when I play with your hair" Ashton says.

"Yeah well that's because you're not trying to wake me then" Luke grumbles.

"Well I wouldn't be waking you if I didn't have to, but you know you can't lay in the back like this while I'm driving, it's not safe" Ashton says.

"Well drive well then" Luke says "I'm not moving".

"Luke" Ashton whines.

"Ashton" Luke says matching Ashton's tone.

"Okay, you're being a little shit now, I know you're awake now, get up you cow" Ashton laughs.

"You know I was actually considering getting up until you just insulted me" Luke says.

"Fine, I'm sorry, now you can please get up" Ashton pleads.

"You'll need a better apology than that" Luke says.

"Like what?" Ashton asks.

"What do you think?" Luke retorts.

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you!" Ashton laughs.

"It's a good thing you're pretty" Luke says.

"Now you're being ru-" Ashton starts but is cut off by Luke bringing Ashton's head to down to press their lips together.

It's kind of an awkward angle and Spider-Man-esque since Ashton is leaning over Luke but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel good.

"Oh" Ashton says dumbly when Luke pulls away.

"Yeah" Luke says "now get out, if you want me to get up".

"Jeez, okay there's no need to be so demanding" Ashton mumbles.

"Yes there is, it's fucking five am" Luke says.

"You're cute when you're grumpy" Ashton says kissing Luke's nose making him blush.

"And you're cute when you blush" Ashton adds which only makes Luke's blush grow.

"Stop you're worse than-" Luke trails off and Ashton thinks Luke is going to cry, not that he minds of course, but he quickly shakes his head before putting on a fake smile.

"I'm sorry babe" Ashton says kissing Luke quickly.

"It's not your fault" Luke says smiling genuinely this time "and can we go now, I'm tired."

"Of course" Ashton says sliding out of the car so it's easier for Luke to get up.

The car ride is pretty quiet but Ashton doesn't mind. He doesn't have to be talking to Luke to enjoy being with him and he knows Luke is tired and probably doesn't want to talk right now.

So that's why he's pretty surprised when Luke's voice breaks the silence about halfway into the twenty minute car ride to Ashton's apartment.

"Hey, Ash?" Luke asks.

"Yeah, Luke?" Ashton asks in reponse.

"What are we?" Luke asks.

"What do you want us to be?" Ashton asks and Luke mumbles something so quietly Ashton can't even hear it.

"What was that?" Ashton says.

"I- I said I'd want us to be b-boyfriends" Luke stutters "i-i-if you want"

"Luke" Ashton says.

"Yeah" Luke asks worriedly as if Ashton's going to say no or something.

It breaks Ashton's heart, why does Luke think he's so undeserving of Ashton? He's nothing special, but Luke, Luke is so amazing. If any of them weren't deserving of the other it'd be Ashton not deserving Luke.

"Do you think I'd spend weeks coming up with perfect way to admit my feelings for you if I didn't want to be your boyfriend?" Ashton says.

"You spent weeks planning this?" Luke asks in shock.

"Well to be honest I didn't come up with this specific idea until last weekend but I was brainstorming what to do basically ever since I met you. I remember when I first found you in that alley I was like 'hey, this boy is cute' but of course I knew I had to get you settled in the shelter first and I didn't even know if you were gay then. When you told Amy you were gay after all, of course it gave me hope but I still knew I couldn't do anything. I hadn't even known you for an hour and besides there was that rule about not dating the residents.

The next day when we skating and you came back to my place I realized 'I'd really like to date this boy someday'. And for the next couple weeks of course I tried to deny it because I thought you didn't like me back and it was against the rules. Then when I was being a dick to you after we almost kissed last week, which was unintentional by the way I didn't mean to ignore you, I was just too distracted by the fact I almost kissed you. When I broke that ornament last week Cara cornered me in the hallway and basically threatened to kill me if I didn't admit my feelings for you. So then I was like 'shit I better do this, Cara doesn't fuck around'" Ashton says making Luke laugh "and then I came up with this idea and yeah. I know it was kind of stupid and cheesy but yeah."

"It was cheesy" Luke admits "but it was also really sweet too".

Luke then presses a kiss to Ashton's cheek making the older boy blush.

"I love you, Ash" Luke says "and thanks for doing all this for me".

"It was no problem Lukey, and I love you more" Ashton says.

"Don't make this a competition" Luke says.

"Jeez it was supposed to be sweet" Ashton laughs making Luke laugh as well.

"Wait, isn't this your turn?" Luke asks making Ashton stop the car abruptly.

"This is exactly why I woke you up" Ashton mutters.

"Well you wouldn't of missed if it wasn't for me, I'm sorry" Luke says sheepishly.

"Luke, it takes like two seconds to turn around and you're the one who noticed I passed the turn in the first place, I'd have to be psychotic to get mad at you over that. Besides I'd drive to china and back if it meant I could be with you."

"Do you just get cheesier, the later it gets?" Luke asks.

"Yep" Ashton retorts before turning the car back around".

"I just made an illegal u-turn, how do you like living on the edge" Ashton says.

"It's not illegal if there are no other cars" Luke points out.

"You never let me have anything" Ashton grumbles making Luke laugh as they reach his complex.

"We'll just leave the stuff in the car for now, okay?" Ashton says once he's parked the car.

"Good because I wasn't going to carry anything" Luke says "you could've waked me up earlier at the rink though and I would've helped you clean"

"It wasn't that hard and I wasn't gonna make you clean up after our first date, I already committed one of the seven deadly sins of first dates by talking about Damon. Besides you looked so adorable sleeping and I didn't want to wake you" Ashton says.

"So you're saying you watch me in my sleep, that's stalkerish" Luke says and Ashton laughs.

"So Harry and Lauren are both at a friends house and Brendon doesn't live with us, so it'll just be mum. And she should be getting up to go to work around now anyways. So we'll basically have the place to ourselves" Ashton says.

"You know I'm just gonna sleep, but you'll probably enjoy that because you can creep on me" Luke says making Ashton laugh.

"You're funny, sweet and gorgeous. How did I get so lucky?" Ashton asks.

"I-I I don't know" Luke stutters blushing and Ashton kisses his temple which only makes him blush further.

When they finally reach the apartment Anne Marie is in the kitchen dressed in her work attire and having breakfast and coffee while on her laptop. Probably checking work emails because she is a self proclaimed workaholic. Although Ashton knows that's how she shows her love for her kids and always spends her limited free time with them.

"Well I see the date must've gone well, if you brought Luke back" Anne Marie says looking down at Luke and Ashton's intertwined hands "I want all the details when I get home".

"Mum" Ashton sighs making his mum chuckle "can you tell Brendon to tell the office I got Luke early in the morning, we just wanna go to bed now."

"Oh I bet you do" Anne Marie says slyly "don't forget to use protection".

"Mother!" Ashton says exasperatedly which only makes Anne Marie laugh even more.

"C'mon Luke, let's go before she can embarrass us even more" Ashton says pulling the younger boy along.

"Sorry about that" Ashton says once they get to his room.

"It's fine, you're mom seems pretty cool" Luke says.

"She is" Ashton agrees "even though she's constantly teasing me about you, but hey, at least she likes you. And she supported a family of four when my excuse for a father left us so I think that's pretty bad ass"

"Yeah, it is, and it's good she found Brendon. When is their wedding, by the way? Luke asks.

"I'm not sure yet, all I know is you're gonna be my date and we're gonna eat a shit ton of cake with Harry and embarrass Lauren" Ashton says.

"Sounds like a plan to me" Luke laughs "and can I have some pajamas?"

"You know where they are and you're my boyfriend now Luke, you don't even have to ask" Ashton says.

"You shouldn't have said that, now I'm totally gonna use that an excuse to raid your closet while you're asleep" Luke retorts trying to hide his blush at the fact Ashton called him his boyfriend.

"It's fine with me, you look cuter in my clothes anyways" Ashton winks only making Luke's blush grow and he turns away from Ashton to grab some pajamas before going into the bathroom to get changed.

Ashton takes the time Luke is in the bathroom to get dressed himself and pull the covers off the bed and position them so Luke can get right into it and not to have to stay awake much longer. Yes, Ashton is such a considerate boyfriend, he should really get an award.

"I used your toothbrush by the way" Luke says coming out the bathroom.

"That's fine" Ashton shrugs "I mean we did practically make out on the ice tonight, so it doesn't really matter".

"Good I thought you'd be disgusted and throw it away or something" Luke says.

"You could never disgust me, I love you" Ashton says kissing Luke quickly as he makes his way to the bathroom to brush his own teeth.

"I love you too, Ash" Luke says blushing.

Ashton can't help the giant smile that forms on his face and doesn't go away as he brushes his teeth.

_Luke is his boyfriend and that's pretty fucking awesome._

When Ashton goes back into his room he expects the younger boy to be fast asleep already and is surprised to find him still awake.

"You know the whole reason I got my bed ready was so you could go to right to sleep" Ashton says.

"I wanted to wait for you" Luke says sweetly "but I'm not gonna wait much longer so get over here and cuddle me".

"Jeez, be patient princess" Ashton chuckles.

"Don't call me that" Luke grumbles.

"Well you're pretty and demanding so I think that fits the princess criteria" Ashton says.

"I really hate you sometimes" Luke mumbles.

"I love you too, babe" Ashton chuckles climbing into bed next to Luke.

Luke sighs in content and rests his head on Ashton's chest while wrapping his arms around his waist and his legs arounds Ashton's.

"Goodnight Irwie, I love you" Luke says.

"Irwie?" Ashton laughs wrapping his arms around the younger boy.

"I thought it was cute, I can stop calling you it through if you don't like it" Luke says.

"No I like it" Ashton reassures running his fingers through Luke's hair, which is flat and messy from his beanie and absolutely adorable "I love all your nicknames for me. But I love you even more".

Luke doesn't say anything like 'god you're so cheesy' in response and Ashton realizes he's already fallen asleep.

"Goodnight Lukey" Ashton whispers pressing a kiss to Luke's hair before falling asleep himself knowing he's the luckiest guy in the universe.

\---

**~2 Weeks later~**

_This is it,_  Luke's decided.

This is the day he's going to tell Ashton his story. The only other people who know were either there when it happened or told about it by others so it's not like he's ever actually had to tell anyone before.

Luke knows he can't keep this locked away forever and that he has to tell someone. And Ashton is the person he trusts the most so of course he's going to be the first one he tells. He can't just keep trailing off whenever something reminds him of them and leave Ashton wondering.

Of course Ashton is an angel personified and he doesn't care but Luke still feels like he should tell him and he  _wants_  to tell him.

He and Ashton have been dating for about two weeks now and Luke can honestly say those were the best two weeks of his life since that incident.

Ashton is so sweet and gentle and he never pressures Luke into anything he doesn't want. He comes up with the cutest date ideas like last week when he built a blanket fort in the living room when Harry and Lauren were at friends houses again and Anne Marie was on a business trip.

He even made hot chocolate, without burning the house down and then made s'mores and toasted marshmallows in the fireplace. It was about two weeks before Christmas though so of course Ashton had to study for his upcoming exams. And they just cuddled in the fort while Ashton studied and Luke watched movies on Ashton's laptop.

It was one of the best days of Luke's life and he kind of liked it more than their first date. It was warmer and it was just nice and simple. And being with Ashton is all that really matters.

Apparently they weren't as good at hiding their relationship than they thought and the shelter found out. However, they trust Ashton and he was able to keep working there while seeing Luke. Which might've caused a bit of drama with some of the other volunteers but Luke and Ashton didn't care. They have each other and thats all that matters.

Luke's now lying on his bed waiting for Ashton to come pick him up.

It's a Friday but Ashton had the day off school to prepare for exams that start the following Monday.

Luke's been ready for about an hour even though he knew Ashton would be getting up later since he was up all night last night studying. And besides, he deserved to sleep in anyways.

Ashton texted him about twenty minutes ago saying he was on his way so Luke knows he should be here any minute.

Cara's actually out on a date with Rita right now, yes you heard that right. Luke basically told Cara now that he and Ashton admitted their feelings she and Rita had to and even Cara could find no way escaping that.

Not only does Rita make Cara happier and less vengeful but she also takes up a lot of Cara's time which leaves her with less time to tease Luke about Ashton. Although whenever she does Luke always gets payback by teasing her about Rita.

Zoe and Alfie are adorable as ever and even Thomas is fine with Luke and Ashton and even found a new guy himself. His name's Andrew and they're not official but Rita does claim she caught them making out.

Luke is snapped out his thoughts by a knock in the door making him jump.

Of course he knows it's Ashton and he shouldn't have been startled as he was expecting him, but he was distracted, okay.

"Hey" Luke says opening the door.

"All I get is a 'hey', wow I can really feel the love today" Ashton laughs.

"Fine, hello my lord and saviour, thank you for gracing me with your presence". Luke retorts.

"You're so cute" Ashton says kissing Luke and of course Luke returns it.

"My date's gonna pretty shitty this weekend, because exams" Ashton says when he pulls away.

"It's fine as long as I'm with you" Luke says "and I um kind of have something planned. We don't have to go anywhere and it's not really a date idea but yeah"

"Well I can't wait" Ashton says kissing Luke again before taking his hand "let's go now".

Luke nods and follows Ashton out of his dorm.

"I think we're just gonna order pizza again" Ashton says "is that fine?".

"Pizza's always fine" Luke says " But I could always make you something, if you want".

"Nah, that'd be sweet and all but you don't have to. All we have is snacks in the house and besides I need to cuddle you while I'm studying to keep me sane" Ashton laughs.

"Well I'm glad I can offer my assistance" Luke says laughing.

\---

"I've officially got all my history and English review done" Ashton says slamming his history book shut and collapsing onto the couch.

There are empty pizza and breadstick boxes all over the coffee table and Luke offered to clean them but Ashton said he didn't have to worry and would rather have Luke cuddle with him instead. And Luke wasn't going to protest, what sixteen year old would turn down cuddling for cleaning? He only offered because he thought that's what good boyfriends do and feels like he doesn't do nearly enough for Ashton as he does for Luke. It's not like he was actually looking forward to cleaning.

"Good" Luke laughs kissing his boyfriends cheek "I'm proud of you"

"I'm proud of me too" Ashton says making Luke laugh and roll his eyes.

"Are you tired?" Luke asks.

"Not really tired, more like drained and I want to do anything but study right now. If you wanna do what you had planned now you can though. It's only eight" Ashton says.

"We can stay here for it" Luke says sliding into the spot between Ashton and the back of the couch and resting his head on his boyfriend's chest "I just thought maybe I could like tell you, you know"

"Oh" Ashton say seeming to understand and Luke is grateful "yeah of course. But you know you don't have to".

"Yeah I know" Luke says "but I wanted to. I've been holding this in for so long and I know it's unhealthy and that telling someone is the first step to overcoming this. And you're the only person I trust enough and want to tell this to".

"Aww well I'm honoured, Lukey" Ashton says pressing a kiss to Luke's hair before running his fingers through it "and take as much time as you need".

Luke really does have the best boyfriend in the world.

"Okay so I should probably start by saying that I actually had a pretty good childhood and life in general until last year. My family which consisted of my parents and my two older brothers Jack and Ben were the greatest.

I did get bullied a lot in elementary school because I wasn't really into sports or typical guy stuff. I also didn't have any crushes on the girls in my classes like the guys did. Like I remember boys would throw balls and stuff at me durning recess and make fun of me for not wanting to play with them. And sometimes I would play with them just so they would shut up and they would always try to trip me and stuff. And they'd call me things like 'gay' or 'faggot' or even 'freak' sometimes. And some kids even told me their dads said they couldn't be friends with me because they didn't want them being around 'someone like me'. And like at the time I didn't know what being gay meant let alone about homophobia.

I remember I would come home from school crying everyday and my parents of course knew what was going on and they were really great about it. I would always cry on my mum's lap and she'd comfort me and bake chocolate chip cookies. My dad wanted to call the school about it and get the kids in shit like they deserved but my mum was a teacher and she knew it would only make things worse. My oldest brother, Ben, was also old enough to truly understand what was going on and he wanted to beat the crap out of those kids but of course he couldn't because he would get into a lot of trouble, especially since he was so much older. My other brother Jack, wasn't much older than me and too young to truly understand what was going on but he would always try to cheer me up by telling me jokes or letting me play with his toys.

In kindergarten we were separated from the other grades at recess so that was probably one of the worst years because I didn't have any friends then. There was a lot of supervision though and some of the older kids would supervise the kindergarten area at lunch which included Ben so, I would kind of just stick with him. Then when I was allowed on the yard with the other grades I would stick with Jack and his friends and the kids would pretty much leave me alone then. However it was different in the classrooms and they would always whisper about me and throw things when the teachers weren't looking. And the worst part is, I don't think most of the teachers even cared. I remember I had a few teachers who were outwardly homophobic and would join the kids or lower my grades on purpose. They'd make it so I was just passing so I wouldn't have to take their class again. And my principal was homophobic as well which I think is part of the reason my mom wouldn't let my dad call. Like I remember when I was in the younger grades he would always pick on me for no reason and get me in trouble over stupid things and so would teachers". Luke says

"That's fucking terrible, Luke, I can't believe they weren't fired" Ashton says "sorry for interrupting".

"It's fine" Luke says "and I know it is but you know how Australia is they don't really have laws against homophobia like they do here."

"Yeah but still, I got bullied for not having a lot of money and it also could've been because I was gay too but most of the insults were directed towards to my economic level. Teachers were never involved with my bullying though and they all tried to stop it. A few would make comments but they never tried to purposely fail me or anything." Ashton says.

"It's not like I could really do anything to stop it" Luke shrugs.

"That doesn't make in any less worse and I know how shitty I felt when kids would call me names and shove me. I don't like the thought of that happening to you. You're so sweet and funny and just amazing in general, I don't get how anyone could ever dislike you." Ashton says pulling Luke even closer to him.

"I can" Luke shrugs "For one, I'm not attractive."

"No, you're gorgeous" Ashton says "you're tall and have pretty blonde hair and the prettiest eyes I've ever seen. They're so bright and blue and as deep as the ocean, except way more beautiful than the ocean. Your nose is cute. And your lips, your lips are so pink and fuck, kissing you is honestly the most amazing thing I've ever felt."

Luke feels his cheeks heat and knows he's blushing again and fuck Ashton is probably gonna say something like 'you're cute when you're blushing' like he's done a million times before and always makes the blush worse. So Luke hides his face in Ashton's chest, hoping Ashton won't see the blush but of course the forces of the universe are out to get Luke and Ashton notices.

"And you're cute when you're blushing" Ashton says make Luke groan and bury his face even further into Ashton's chest.

"What?" Ashton laughs.

"I knew you were gonna say that" Luke mumbles.

"So you admit you're cute then" Ashton says.

"No I wasn't admitting anything, I just know you and you always say that" Luke says.

"I only say it because it's true, Lukey" Ashton says.

"Even if it was, which it isn't, looks aren't everything. I still have shitty personality" Luke says "I'm awkward and boring and way too emotional. I'm certainly not funny like you think."

"No you're hilarious" Ashton says "honestly Luke you're witty and sarcastic and if people don't think you're funny it's because they're too stupid to understand you."

"I don't know I just make lame jokes and isn't sarcasm a bad thing? I don't know, most people find it rude. And I'm not sweet like you think I am either I'm actually quite selfish." Luke says.

"You're not selfish, Luke" Ashton says "and you're sweet to me".

"No I'm not, you're the sweet one. I never do anything for you." Luke says.

"That's not true" Ashton protests.

"Yeah it is" Luke argues "you're always the one doing stuff for me and taking me on all these cute dates. Fuck, you literally saved my life and I can't even thank you properly for it".

"It's my job Luke" Ashton says "and lots of the other residents don't give me a verbal thank you and I can understand why. How would you even really thank someone for that? But I know they're grateful for what I do for them and they show it in other ways. And that's what you do and you do verbally thank me as well, you do it a million times a week. But I think you feel like you have to do something extravagant to make it up to me but you don't. You don't owe me anything Luke and you don't have to repay me but if you really want to, which I know you do, because you're sweet".

"Ash" Luke groans at the last part but can't help but the smile that spreads across his face, of course Ashton would do something cheesy like that.

Luke acts like Ashton's cheesiness is annoying and it definitely can be at some times. But it's also sweet and endearing and Luke wouldn't trade it for the world, much like Ashton himself.

"It's true" Ashton laughs " And really Luke just being with me is more than enough. I love you, the time you spend with me is more valuable than anything you could buy or do for me."

"That was really cheesy" Luke groans.

"But was it 'also kinda sweet'" Ashton asks imitating Luke.

"Maybe" Luke admits sheepishly and Ashton kisses him quickly and it's so quick that Luke finds his body betraying him and he chases Ashton's lips for more.

"Someone's eager" Ashton quips.

"Shut up" Luke groans and Ashton kisses him, a bit longer this time.

"Okay I'm sorry, you were telling me your story and I got way off topic, continue" Ashton says "you were telling me how you got bullied and how even the teachers joined and you had a homophobic principal"

Luke couldn't even remember where he left off or what he was talking about but Ashton remembered. Of course Ashton remembered, Luke really does have the best boyfriend in the world.

Luke lays his head back down on Ashton's chest again and Ashton's fingers immediately go back to playing with Luke's hair. This is probably Luke's favourite thing Ashton does to him, even more than kissing him.

Sure Ashton is a great kisser and kissing him feels like heaven but this is just so simple and comforting and makes Luke feels so loved. Cuddling with Ashton in general always makes Luke feel safe and loved and when Ashton plays with his hair it makes it even better.

"Right, so in about third grade my parents told me what being gay meant and how some people weren't really accepting of it. And like I know they did it because they were trying to help and obviously they knew I was gay before I did just like everyone else. I remember I had crushes on a couple of Jack's friends but I didn't really think that meant anything and before I knew what being gay was I didn't think it was possible to like guys that.

Even after I knew I just tried to deny and basically told myself 'it was just a phase' and that I would like girls eventually. I was eight, it's not like I wanted to date Jack's friends or anything I just thought some of them were attractive. I tried to not let it bother me though since I was a little kid and dating anyone was the last thing on my mind at the time.

I remember girls were always a lot nicer than guys and would pair with me on projects but I was never really friends with any of them. I think that just had to do with fact that kids usually hang out with their gender until puberty though. I didn't have a real friend that was in my grade until sixth grade, which luckily for me was the year Jack started high school so it's not like I ever had a year when I was completely alone.

In sixth grade this boy named Calum moved to my school and my sixth grade teacher was actually one of the best teachers I ever had and I know she sat me beside Calum on purpose. Calum was kind of shy and quiet, as was I, so I think that's part of the reason why we were such good friends. He quickly became my best friend and we always hung out together at recess and paired for projects. He was also the only friend I had ever done stuff outside of school with and I remember I was a bit sacred to go to his house the first time as I had never been to a friends house before but I soon realized I had nothing to worry about. His mum was really sweet and always cooked the best foods and we always prank his sister and of course she'd get pissed at Calum but never at me so I liked her for that.

In a lot of ways Calum and I were really similar but were polar opposites in other ways too. Like Calum was really good at sports, especially soccer, and he was attractive even in sixth grade and I know a lot of girls had crushes on him. He had the potential to be really popular but he always stuck with me for some reason. He actually ended up becoming captain of the football team and because I was his best friend I would always go to his games. I remember his teammates would sometimes try to make fun of me but they never got very far because Calum would threaten to bench them for the rest of the year or even kick them off the team. Sixth grade was also the year that my homophobic principle retired and the new principle was younger and more accepting.

Seventh grade was the point where I realized 'hey I am gay'. And it just happened like how any other kid would realize he was gay. I was never attracted to girls and I started think more guys were cute and wondered what it be like to date a few of them. I actually had a crush on Calum at one point and even kissed him once during one of our sleepovers. Calum was straight so of course he told me he didn't feel anything and even I was let down by the kiss and it didn't live up to my twelve year old expectations, whatever those were" Luke says making Ashton laugh.

"Well I hope my kisses lived up to your expectations" Ashton says.

"Please, they went above and beyond" Luke laughs.

"Who's the cheesy one, now?" Ashton retorts.

"I am" Luke admits sheepishly "this what I get for spending so much time with you!"

"But you love spending time with me" Ashton quips kissing Luke quickly.

"Unfortunately" Luke says.

"Ouch!" Ashton exclaims laughing "stop being so mean to me".

"Well then stop interrupting me, fuck, you even get me off topic!" Luke laughs.

"Okay I'm sorry, princess" Ashton says making Luke glare at him "I won't interrupt unless you let me from now on, you were talking about when you kissed Calum by the way".

Ashton goes back to running his fingers through Luke's hair again and okay it's really hard for Luke to be mad at him, or least pretend to be, when he does that.

"So yeah, I kissed Calum, and it didn't feel like fireworks or whatever shit kisses are supposed to feel like. It certainly didn't feel like kissing you" Luke says.

"Awww Luke" Ashton coos, immediately throwing his hands over his mouth when he realizes he interrupted Luke again "shit, I'm fucking sorry, this is the last time I swear".

"You're lucky I love you enough to put up with your annoying bullshit" Luke retorts kissing Ashton quickly before resuming his previous position with his head on Ashton's chest and Ashton's fingers running through his hair.

"So anyways, Calum was pretty chill about the kiss, he just told me he didn't return the feelings and wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with me. He didn't freak out or call me disgusting or stop being my friend and I love him for that. Nothing was really different between us except the fact I didn't have a crush on him anymore. And seventh and eighth grade pretty much just consisted of me continuing to be best friends with Calum and him sticking up for me.

Then we started high school, and I was terrified to be honest. I was thinking it would be a million times worse than elementary school and that I would get shoved in toilets or locked in lockers like in the movies. It turns out I was wrong however, and my school was actually really accepting and I had no problem coming out and making friends. And by making friends I just mean people I'd talk to at school because I was still kind of awkward and Calum was my only friend I did stuff outside of school with. Calum ended up meeting this girl named Ally in one of his classes and they eventually started dating and I'm almost certain they are still are now.

Ally was great and all and I was glad to see Calum happy but of course that meant I spent less time with him. There was this other gay boy in my science class and I kind of had a crush on him but I didn't think he'd like me back since he was pretty popular. His name was Troye and it turns out he actually did like me back and he ended up being my first boyfriend. And he was cute and nice and all but he was certainly wasn't you" Luke says and instead of saying something Ashton just presses a kiss to Luke's hair.

"I obviously ended up breaking up with him but it wasn't because he was jerk or anything it was because... it was because my life suddenly flipped upside down" Luke says taking a deep breath.

"You can always tell me another day, if you want. You've done great so far" Ashton reassures.

"No, no, I want to continue" Luke says "it's just, it's hard to talk about"

Luke feels the tears collect in his eyes and allows Ashton to pull him closer until he's basically lying on top of Ashton and Luke nuzzles his face in the crook of Ashton's neck. He tries to stop the tears not wanting to cry on Ashton and get his shirt wet, although he knows Ashton isn't the type to care about petty things like that.

For a while Luke just let's the tears fall as Ashton holds him and rubs Luke's shoulder with one hand and runs the other through his hair while whispering words of comfort.

Luke doesn't know how long they stay like that but he eventually has no more tears left to cry. He moves his head slightly and mutters an apology when he notices the huge tear stain on Ashton's hoodie.

"Shhh it's fine" Ashton mutters sitting Luke up before taking his hoodie off so he's only in a loose weekend warrior tank top. Normally Luke would blush at the sight of Ashton's biceps but he's too upset to think about things like that right now.

Ashton then lays back down pulling Luke along with him and Luke rests his head in the crook of Ashton's neck again while Ashton presses a kiss to his hair before running his fingers through it.

"It happened New Years Eve, the one that just passed by the way. It was the first time I was going to an actual party that wasn't just one with my parents friends and I was obviously excited. My parents were gonna pick me up at one though, so I knew not to drink too much or they would've found out. Besides, both Ally and I needed to be pretty sober to contain drunk Calum. It's not fun, he starts running around and singing at the top his lungs and dancing and of course knocking people and decor over while he runs like a cheetah" Luke laughs.

"Sounds like my friend Derek" Ashton says.

"Good, you know my struggle then" Luke laughs.

As annoying as Calum is when he's drunk, Luke can't help but miss it. Or miss Calum in general. Or Ally of course. He even misses being their third wheel all the time. Even if Luke did have a boyfriend, Troye was into theatre and music which took up a lot of his time, so of course Luke got stuck as the third wheel.

"Troye wasn't there because he had a play rehearsal that night so he doesn't know what really happened. Well he does, but not all the details, only Calum and Ally really know because they were there. But basically it was just a normal New Year's Eve party until about 12:30 when the cops showed up. And everyone scrambled to turn off the music and hide the alcohol since we were obviously all underage.

The cops knocked on the door and the person throwing the party answered it and I remember hearing the cop say my name but I was in such shock that I just stood there.

Part of me was terrified because I had never gotten into trouble and the most illegal thing I had done was drank so I knew it had to be for some other reason. The solemn look on the cops face only confirmed it. A sense of dread immediately filled me and I almost threw up right then.

I felt two people on either side of me guiding me towards the door and I knew it was Calum and Ally.

When I reached the door I was still in shock and the cop ask Calum and Ally if they were close friends of mine which they replied yes to. The cop said something like 'good, you're not gonna want to be alone when you hear this' to me and that's when I snapped out of my state of shock knowing something terrible must've happened." Luke pauses to take a deep and Ashton presses a kiss to Luke's hair giving him strength to continue.

"The cop said that my parents car, which also had my brothers in it ended up colliding with a drunk driver. The driver of the other car, as well as Ben and both my parents were dead on impact and Jack was alive but sustained fatal injuries that he only had a 5% chance of surviving from.

I remember trying to argue with the cop to let me see Jack and eventually with some help from Calum and Ally, he caved.

I told Calum and Ally that they should just go home and not worry about me and that I just wanted to see Jack and that I'd contact them in the morning.

They agreed and hugged me goodbye before going back inside and I followed the cop to his car. He drove me to the hospital and when I got in the waiting room Jack's girlfriend, Celeste was in there. She had obviously been crying but stopped and smiled sadly when she saw me.

She hugged me and told me she knew what room Jack was in and how to get there but she didn't want to go in before I did since I was Jack's brother and she would've felt bad. I told her she should've went anyways and I wouldn't've cared if she went in before me but I appreciated that she waited. Besides having someone I knew there helped sooth me a bit.

We went into Jack's room and  _fuck_ , he looked unrecognizable. His face was- he was just-" Luke feels the tears starting again and Ashton pulls him closer.

"Shh" Ashton soothes "you don't have to describe it if it's too hard"

"Thank you" Luke squeaks before hiccuping.

"He was actually conscious though and able to speak to us and of course he didn't sound like himself but I didn't care. At least one member of my family was alive. He told Celeste that he loved her and always will which of course made her cry before kissing him and telling him the same.

She then left to give me and Jack a bit of privacy and Jack ended up telling me more details about the crash. He told me not to blame myself for it but, fuck, how could I not? If I hadn't of insisted on going to that stupid party, they never would've gone down that street." Luke cries.

"Luke don't blame yourself" Ashton says "it's not your fault. Were you the one driving the car that collided with them?"

"Well, no" Luke says "but-"

"But nothing, it's not your fault". Ashton says.

"It is though, Ashton, they were only on that street to get to the house the party I was at was in. If I hadn't of went to that party they would've went another way. This is my fault." Luke cries.

"Luke" Ashton says "the accident was solely the drunk drivers fault, you didn't make the driver collide with them."

"I might as well have" Luke says and Ashton sighs.

"Look, Luke, I'm not gonna argue with you anymore right now. I know you're not done with the story yet. But this isn't your fault and you're going to realize that eventually just like you're going to realize how amazing you are." Ashton says.

"I just admitted to you that I was cause of my family's death and now I'm arguing with you. Why are you still being nice to me?" Luke asks.

"Because I love you and you did nothing wrong" Ashton says sitting up and pulling Luke onto his lap "now do you think you can continue?"

"Yeah" Luke sniffles "and I love you too Ash, you're way more than I deserve."

"No I'm not, you deserve the world and I'm not even a fraction of that" Ashton says.

"No you're not, you're the whole universe" Luke says smiling slightly at how cheesy that was.

"And you say you're not sweet" Ashton says pressing a short kiss to Luke's lips.

"Anyways" Luke says resting his head on Ashton's shoulder and Ashton runs a hand through Luke's hair and his other arm is around his waist supporting him.

"Jack then ended up telling me loved me and everything and so did Ben and our parents before telling me what he thought they would've wanted to say. Celeste came back in after a while and we ended up talking to Jack before he feel into a sleep he would never wake up from. We were each holding a hand of his as he did and it was one of the worst moments of my life. I don't know whether finding out about the crash, or watching my brother die was worse." Luke says.

"You don't have to know the answer to that, Luke" Ashton says.

"Anyways I was only fifteen so of course I had no time to mourn before the government was trying to find a place for me to live. Calum and Ally tried to see if I could move in with their families and Celeste even tried to see if I could live with her as she was eighteen and I don't think she wanted to be alone, and I wanted to say in Australia as well. Of course that didn't end up happening and as long as there was a blood relative still alive I would have to live them. All my grandparents had passed away so I obviously couldn't live them. The only family members I had left were my aunt and uncle who lived in England which is why I ended up moving here.

I ended up breaking up with Troye because I needed time to get over the death of my family and I didn't want to put him through that. I was also moving anyways and I didn't think we're were serious enough to try long distance but we could still be friends. He was understanding and took it well and he even came to the airport to say goodbye to me, along with Calum, Ally and Celeste of course.

Of course I didn't want to leave my friends behind but I knew I had to. I couldn't go against the government and I thought maybe moving halfway across the world would make it easier to recover from. Part of me was optimistic and expecting it to be 'a new chapter in my life' and god was I wrong.

I had only met my aunt and uncle once before but they seemed pretty cool and I thought they'd help me get over it, but no.

My aunt was my mum's sister and was distraught at the death of her sister and rightfully so. However instead of grieving like a normal person she got angry and took it out on me. She would constantly bring up the fact that the crash was my fault and of course her husband agreed with her. He would call me names and treat me like dirt and she would do the same and even hit or throw things at me. They even got their children to turn against me and they would scratch me or throw toys at me. And they were three and five. And of course my aunt and uncle had to bring up my sexuality as well, as if that had something to do with the crash.

They also took my phone, computer and all forms of communication I had so I couldn't contact Calum, Ally, Celeste, Troye or even the cops. They also homeschooled me so no one would find out.

I remember one night in July they told me I couldn't live with them anymore. That they were disgusted by my presence in their home and that they didn't want me around their children. Of course since they never let me leave the house without supervision I didn't have a job or anything. So I had no choice but to live on the streets.

To be completely honest living on the streets was better than living with them. I was able to find that spot in that alley no one ever went to and provided shelter for the weather and I would scavenge the trash from the nearby restaurants so I never had to... do anything for someone... to get food.

I know you're probably wondering why I didn't get a job and I tried a few places but never got accepted. So I figured maybe the economy was tough at that point and I'd start looking when it got colder out. By the time it did start getting cold I had lost my desire to get a job and make something out of myself. I even lost my desire to live. I was willing to die in that alleyway.

And then you came along, and you gave me a reason to live again."

"Luke" Ashton whispers he's crying this point "first off the last thing you said was really sweet but no one makes you want to live again, you make that decision on your own. I might've given you hope, yeah, but I couldn't have made you to want to live".

"I don't know you did take me to the shelter which had job and education opportunities that played a part in me gaining back my desire to live, so really if you think about it everything leads back to you" Luke says.

"That's cute, really Luke" Ashton says "but it's not the truth".

"I'm not gonna argue with you but one day you're going to realize that this is your fault" Luke says.

"Using my argument against me, that's low Hemmings" Ashton says making Luke laugh.

"Look I know you probably don't want to hear this, but what your aunt and uncle did was obviously incredibly illegal" Ashton starts.

"Incredibly illegal?" Luke retorts.

"Yes, because there are different levels like speeding isn't a major crime but physically and emotionally abusing a minor is" Ashton says.

"I guess you're right" Luke admits.

"You can bet your ass I am Luke, my step dad is a cop after all" Ashton says making Luke laugh.

"What?" Ashton asks, confused "I was being serious".

"I know, you're just cute" Luke says.

"So are you" Ashton says before kissing Luke.

"But anyways," Ashton says when he pulls away "you should tell Brendon. Just the part about your Aunt and Uncle. I can even tell him if you don't want to but this should reported to the cops. They can't get away with it".

"They have kids though, Ash" Luke says "if both the parents went to jail the kids wouldn't have parents. I'm not doing that to the kids."

"It's great you care, but there are always other options for the kids and I don't know if that's an ideal place for them. But of course it's up to you" Ashton says.

"I don't know they were good parents to the kids, they just hated me and I can't blame them" Luke says.

"It's nor fair though" Ashton says "that they can do that to you and get away with it"

"Life isn't fair, Ash" Luke says.

"Okay, Grandpa" Ashton laughs.

"At least it's a better nickname than princess" Luke laughs.

"I'm glad I told you, it doesn't fix anything but it does feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders" Luke says.

"Well I'm happy I was able to relieve that weight" Ashton says.

"You're such a dork" Luke laughs.

"But you love me" Ashton says.

"Of course" Luke says pressing his lips to his boyfriend's.

The kiss lasts for a quite a while, both boys putting all their love for each other into it and pretty soon Ashton's lying down the couch and pulling Luke on top of him.

They kiss for god only knows how long before Luke's body betrays him and he pulls away to yawn.

"You wanna go to bed now, babe?" Ashton asks.

"I don't want to, it's only like 9:30 and I wanna keep kissing you. However I don't think I can stay awake much longer" Luke admits.

"C'mon then" Ashton says sitting up which makes Luke sit up as well.

Luke gets off the couch first and holds his hand out for his boyfriend which of course Ashton takes.

"Are you tired?" Luke asks swinging their intertwined hands together as they walk to Ashton's room.

"To be honest I could've went to sleep after I finished studying" Ashton admits.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Luke asks.

"Because I knew you had something planned and I didn't mind staying up for it and I'm glad I did. Now you don't have to worry about telling me for a other night or however it would've taken you to want to tell me again. Now you can sleep without it eating away at you and you're now one step closer to your recovery" Ashton says before yawning.

Luke really does have the best boyfriend in the entire universe.

\---

**~ 1 week later~**

Luke feels himself being shaken awake by someone and at first he thinks it's Ashton until he realizes Ashton's arms around his waist. When the person starts jumping on the bed he realizes it's definitely not Ashton.

"Ashton! Luke! Wake up! It's Christmas!" Harry says excitedly and Luke chuckles to himself as Harry jumps on top of Ashton.

"Ah!" Ashton exclaims, still half asleep "what time is it?"

"I don't know or care, it's Christmas! Get up you lazy butt" Harry pouts.

Ashton then rubs his eyes and sits up slowly, suddenly seeming to remember that,  _yes it is Christmas._

"Go wake mum, Brendon and Lauren then and then we can go open presents, okay?" Ashton says to his little brother.

"Okay!" Harry exclaims, excitedly hopping down from the bed before running out of the room.

"You were awake before me, why didn't you get up first or at least stop him from tackling me?" Ashton asks looking down at Luke, who's still on the bed, and playing with his boyfriend's morning hair.

"Because it was entertaining and I was waiting until you got up" Luke says innocently.

"So next time I'm attacked in my sleep you're just gonna lay there?" Ashton asks.

"Yep" Luke retorts making Ashton roll his eyes.

"Merry Christmas babe" Ashton says leaning down to kiss Luke.

The kiss is way too short for Luke's liking and he feels himself chasing Ashton's lips for more, making the older boy chuckle.

"As much as I would love to stay here and make out with you, we should get up now. We don't wanna keep Harry waiting and I wanna get up and make coffee before everyone else is up or I'll be falling asleep halfway through opening presents." Ashton says.

"So you want to burn the house down on Christmas morning?" Luke retorts.

"Excuse you Hemmings, but I actually make coffee everyday without burning the house down" Ashton defends.

"Well I guess if I supervise while you make it and you make me some I can allow you to make it" Luke says.

"I didn't ask you for permission Luke, you're not my mother" Ashton says "and I was going to make you some anyways. In fact I was going to make coffee for my mum and Brendon and hot chocolate for Lauren and Harry because I am just that considerate. And you're helping me, not because I can't make it on my own, but because we're wasting time thanks to  _you_  and it'll take a while to make drinks for six people."

"I was just about to get up, jeez no need to be so demanding. It's Christmas don't be such a Scrooge." Luke laughs throwing his hands up in defence as he sits up.

"I'm not being a Scrooge, if anyone's being a Scrooge it's you" Ashton protests.

"Oh yeah, how am I being a Scrooge then?" Luke asks.

"Well, I don't know" Ashton admits "you just are"

"Okay, babe" Luke laughs leaning over to kiss Ashton but he pushes him away causing Luke to pout.

"I thought of a reason actually" Ashton says "you didn't say Merry Christmas back to me".

"That's because you kissed me!" Luke protests.

"Whatever, I'm done wasting time with you and your lame excuses, there is coffee to be made" Ashton says getting up, leaving Luke with no choice but to follow him.

He knows Ashton actually isn't really upset but Luke's still going to make it up to him.

Luke follows Ashton into the kitchen and watches as he fills a pot with hot water before filtering coffee into it.

"Make the hot chocolate! Be useful!" Ashton orders to Luke.

"You know that's not a very nice way to ask" Luke says.

"Yeah well you didn't wish me a Merry Christmas so fuck you" Ashton quips.

"You know I'm only doing this for Harry and Lauren" Luke says "not for you. I don't things for unreasonable people".

"I don't think it's unreasonable to expect my boyfriend to wish me a Merry Christmas" Ashton says causing Luke to blush at the word boyfriend.

Luke and Ashton have been dating for about three weeks now but that doesn't mean Luke is anymore used to Ashton calling him his boyfriend. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to it.

After spending seven months with people that constantly belittled him and told him he was worthless and would never find love, and then spending four more months with basically no human contact Luke couldn't help but be surprised when someone talked to him. And not only talked to him but treated him like a person and didn't hit him or call him names.

He was certainly surprised when that person said they wanted to help him and took him to a shelter where he would make even more friends and actually have hope again for once in his life since he lost his family.

Nothing could've prepared him for when that person confessed he was in love with Luke and then continued to be the most loving and supportive person Luke had in his life since his family. Nothing could have prepared him for the cute dates that person took him on or even the fact they took time out of their day just to visit him or text him.

No nothing could've prepared Luke for Ashton Irwin, and Luke doesn't even think he deserves Ashton, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love and appreciate Ashton. Even if it's only been three weeks that they've been dating or not even two months that they've known each other, Luke still knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with Ashton.

Luke is then snapped out of his inner monologue by someone touching his arm and he jumps.

"Sorry, but the pot was about to overflow. You too busy daydreaming about me?" Ashton asks smirking at Luke causing the younger boy to blush.

"What? No" Luke stutters tripping over his own words as he stumbles to shut the tap off "I wasn't, I was just-"

"Hmm, okay Luke" Ashton says disbelievingly "I believe you".

Luke decides to ignore Ashton and puts the pot of water on the stove to boil.

When he turns back around he notices the coffee is already done and Ashton has his back to Luke as he's pouring the coffee into four mugs.

Luke takes this as the perfect opportunity to sneak up on him and attack.

"Merry Christmas babe!" Luke exclaims tackling Ashton from behind and almost making him spill the coffee in the process.

"Jeez, Luke!" Ashton exclaims as he giggles before setting the coffee down "you could've given me third degree burns!"

"Sorry" Luke says sheepishly.

"It's fine, just make sure I'm not holding hot liquids next time. And Merry Christmas to you too babe" Ashton says turning around in Luke's arms before pressing their lips together.

The kiss was only meant to be short, because they have water still boiling, but fuck, kissing Ashton feels so good and Luke can't bring himself to pull away. And apparently neither can Ashton.

Luke feels himself being walked backwards and pushed up against something, probably the island. And what were they even supposed to be doing? Ashton's arms are around Luke's waist again and Luke has his arms wrapped around Ashton's neck. Luke experimentally tugs one of Ashton's curls since he discovered Ashton quite loves that and he elicits a moan from the older boy.

"Fuck, Luke" Ashton mutters against Luke's lips" you've gotten so good at this. I mean I've always enjoyed kissing you but fuck, you've definitely improved and seem more sure of yourself now"

"Well I did have the best teacher" Luke says pressing their lips together again.

They kiss like that for a few minutes until they're so rudely interrupted by a cough that causes them both to jump and break apart blushing.

"I was wondering what was taking so long" Anne Marie says smirking.

"Mum" Ashton groans "why do you always have to ruin our moments. And how long were you spying on us?"

"Embarrassing you is one of my greatest joys in life, and I just got here" Anne Marie retorts, her eyes widening as she looks over to the stove.

She runs over to the stove where the pot of water is about to boil over and turns the burner off and takes the pot off it before it can.

"Next time if you're gonna make out while boiling water, keep an eye on it, or at least put it on low so it takes longer" Anne Marie says while taking a sip of one of the mugs of coffee before putting it in the microwave "and the coffee is cold too! This is what I get for trusting two hormonal teenage boys to make drinks."

Ashton groans and presses his face into Luke's shoulder in embarrassment.

"Sorry Anne Marie, it was my fault. I was the one making the hot chocolate." Luke apologizes.

"No it's not sweetie, I know you practically live here on the weekends, but you're still the guest. Ashton should've been making both" Anne Marie says putting the hot chocolate powder into the two mugs.

"You know sometimes I think you like Luke more than me" Ashton says removing his face from Luke's shoulder.

"Well I definitely like him better than your ex" Anne Marie says.

"Okay mum! We're leaving now!" Ashton says grabbing Luke's hand to drag him out of the kitchen.

"Not without taking the coffee with you, do you expect me to carry six mugs?" Anne Marie demands.

"No mum, I would never expect that of you" Ashton says dryly while grabbing two cups of coffee and handing them to Luke before taking the other two.

No one else is the living room yet, Luke figures Brendon is taking a while to get ready or helping Harry with the difficult task of getting Lauren up.

Luke watches as Ashton gets out coasters and sets down the coffee before plopping down on the couch and gesturing for Luke to sit next to him.

Luke snaps out of his daze and also puts to coffee on the table before sitting next to Ashton.

Ashton kisses Luke's temple before reaching over and grabbing a mug of coffee and taking a sip before immediately putting it down and making a face.

"It's hot" Ashton says laughing and Luke only hmphs in response.

Normally Luke would be laughing and appreciating how the dork that he calls his boyfriend is but he's looking at the pile of gifts under the tree and knows his measly gifts aren't even close to being adequate.

Luke had a lot of gifts he had to get this Christmas, and while he does enjoy giving gifts, he had basically no money. Since he's only sixteen and starting school again is more of a priority at the centre then him getting a job, he's on the waiting list to get one.

There is a shop in the centre around Christmas where the residents can get free gifts and Luke managed to get gifts like makeup for Zoe or combat boots for Cara. And he gave them to them yesterday before Ashton came and got him. And maybe it was enough for his friends since they're in the same position, but he knows Ashton's family is probably expecting more.

He just got Lauren an eyeshadow quad and some mascara, and a toy spaceship for Harry. He didn't really know what Anne Marie or Brendon would want so he got some wedding card book, lame, Luke knows but at least it's practical.

Ashton was the hardest to find gifts for however and all Luke managed to find was a hat, scarf and gloves. He knows it's lame and Ashton already has some but when Ashton let Luke borrow his that night in the alley that's when he knew he could trust Ashton. Luke thought it would be cute and sentimental but he's knows it's probably just lame and cheesy. Luke didn't think that was nearly enough so he so wrote a letter to Ashton telling him how much everything he has done for Luke means. Luke knows his gifts are cheesy and terrible and he's certain Ashton will hate them.

Speaking of Ashton it's his voice that snaps Luke out of his thoughts.

"What's wrong? I thought you'd laugh at that" Ashton asks worriedly before wrapping his arm arounds Luke's waist and pulling him against his chest.

"It is funny" Luke says "haha".

"Luke, that was the fakest laugh in all of history. Who actually says 'haha'? Seriously, what's wrong?" Ashton asks worriedly.

"I don't know, it's just there's a bunch of gifts under the tree, probably really expensive ones and my gifts are really small and shitty. And I know my one for you doesn't even come close to what you got for me" Luke says.

"Oh Luke" Ashton says kissing Luke's cheek "my family's not gonna care if you didn't get them extravagant gifts. They know your situation and they didn't even expect you to get gifts at all. And I didn't expect you get me anything either but I knew you were going to anyways because you're so thoughtful. Just you being here with me and being happy is more than enough of a gift for me".

"Ash" Luke says pressing his face into Ashton's shoulder to hide his blush.

"It's true" Ashton says "I know this is your first holiday...since, you know-"

"You can say it you know" Luke says "now that I've told you don't have tiptoe around it. That's definitely not gonna help me recover".

"Okay, well I know this is your first holiday without your family and I want to make it as enjoyable as any other holidays you have had. My family is your family now, and they love you and don't care about what you buy them. They're just happy you're here. And so am I, and I know it'll be hard, and so will next weekend but I'll be there to help you get through it. I'll always be there." Ashton says.

"Thanks, Ash, you're the best" Luke says "I love you"

"I love you too, Lukey" Ashton says before kissing Luke quickly.

When they pull apart Luke rests his head on Ashton's shoulder and Ashton runs his fingers through Luke's hair and they stay like that until the rest of Ashton's family come into the living room. Anne Marie and Brendon following a running Harry with Lauren trailing sleepily behind.

And it's times like this where Luke feels at home and feels like maybe he is getting closer to recovering after all.

\---

It turns out Ashton was right and his family does really end up enjoying the presents.

Apparently the eyeshadow and mascara were one of Lauren's favourite brands and she really liked the colours. And Harry said he really liked the spaceship and that it was his favourite toy that he'd gotten. And Anne Marie loved the card set and said she was looking for something exactly like it and that was one less thing they had to worry about in order to prepare for the wedding. And Luke thinks Brendon was pretty thankful for that.

Ashton asked if he and Luke could open their gifts in private, so they decided to wait until Anne Marie, Brendon and the kids went to visit Brendon's family. Which makes Luke think Ashton got him something really extravagant, or maybe he just didn't want his family to tease him. Regardless, Luke knows his gifts are shitty compared to Ashton's.

Ashton's family just left so now its only Luke and Ashton and Luke is really not looking forward to Ashton hating his present.

There are two decently sized boxes under the tree from Ashton and Luke's small bag looks pathetic in comparison.

"Do you wanna open yours first or give me mine?" Ashton asks.

"I don't really care either way, you're still gonna hate mine" Luke says.

"Luke, I could never hate anything that's from you" Ashton says.

"Whatever" Luke shrugs "can we just get this over with"

Luke hears Ashton sigh, which is just great. Now he's annoyed Ashton, there no way he'll like the gifts now.

"I'm gonna give you yours first, okay?" Ashton says and Luke just nods.

Luke watches as Ashton gets the larger box and hands it to Luke who looks at it hesitantly.

"I'm gonna love your gift, okay? It doesn't matter if you didn't spend any money on it. It's not about the price of the gift but the thought that went to it. And I know you put a lot of thought into it" Ashton says kissing Luke's forehead making the younger boy blush.

"Yeah, okay" Luke says quietly.

Luke unwraps Ashton's first gift to find a pair of hockey skates, but not just any hockey skates, brand new rather expensive looking ones.

"I figured I should get some so you don't have to keep renting them" Ashton says.

"So you're saying we're only going on skating dates? Damn Ash, I need some variety" Luke teases.

"Oh, shut up" Ashton says playfully shoving Luke.

"No but really Ash, these are great and I can't wait to go skating with you again" Luke says.

"I don't know it's not very thoughtful" Ashton shrugs "just expensive".

"I think it's thoughtful" Luke says honestly "we do go skating a lot and we did go skating the first time we hung out and on our first date. And how am I not supposed to feel bad about my gift, if you're doing the same about yours?"

"Yeah I guess you're right" Ashton says "it's just, I just want you to be happy since I know it's your first Christmas without your family and all I can do is buy you material things"

"Do you really think that?" Luke asks pulling Ashton down next to him on the couch.

"Well yeah it's not like I can bring them back or anything" Ashton says.

"I wouldn't expect you to" Luke says "but you did the next best thing. You gave me hope and made me want to live again. You made me feel loved and your family welcomed me. And while I know they're not my family, they're still a family and that doesn't mean they're any less important to me than mine was"

"Yeah, I guess" Ashton says blushing before kissing Luke " fuck, I love you so much Luke"

"I love you too Ash" Luke says before kissing Ashton again.

"I'll get your other gift now" Ashton says when they pull away and goes over to get the second gift.

Luke the takes the gift from his boyfriend and opens it to find an iPad.

"Ash" Luke gasps.

"I don't know I thought maybe you'd be able to contact your friend on it , if not you could just use it when you're bored at the shelter or somet-" Ashton starts but is cut off by Luke pressing their lips together and Ashton laughs into the kiss.

"I love it, how could you think it's not thoughtful. I didn't even think of contacting my friends from Australia bc I didn't think there'd be any way. Fuck, Ash, thank you" Luke says.

"It was nothing really Luke" Ashton laughs.

"No it wasn't, stop putting yourself down" Luke says.

"Only if you do" Ashton quips.

"Fine" Luke sighs getting Ashton's gift.

He's shaking as he reaches for it and he doesn't know why he's so nervous. Ashton promised that he'd like it. But it's just Ashton gifts were so expensive and Luke knows Ashton must've spent close to a thousand dollars on him. And Luke didn't even spend a penny. And sure Ashton said the money doesn't matter but Luke still can't help but feel that his gift to Ashton is nothing compared to Ashton's gifts for him.

"Here" Luke says handing Ashton the bag and looking away ashamed.

"C'mere" Ashton says patting the spot next to him and Luke reluctantly sits.

Ashton kisses Luke's temple and pulls him into his side and Luke buries his face in Ashton's shoulder so he has a good hiding spot for when he sees the disappointment on Ashton's face.

He reluctantly watches as Ashton opens the gift and takes the letter out.

"Read it after" Luke says "well, if you wanna read it"

"Why wouldn't I want to read something you wrote me?" Ashton asks.

"Because it's lame" Luke mutters.

"I'm sure it's not lame, anything you took the time to write isn't lame" Ashton says kissing Luke quickly.

"Yeah well the rest of the gift is" Luke says.

"I'm sure it's not" Ashton reassures using one arm to hug Luke into his side.

Luke anxiously watches as Ashton takes out the tissue paper, not even giving Ashton time to process the gift before he's defending himself.

"I know it's lame and you already have some but it meant so much to me when you gave me yours in the alley. It was what made me know I could trust you" Luke says.

"Luke" Ashton says and Luke expects Ashton to tell him how horrible the gift is.

There are tears in Ashton's eyes so surely he hates it.

"That's so sweet and thoughtful" Ashton says "it doesn't matter if I already had some because I just got those myself because I needed them. But yours are way nicer and probably warmer as well. And the fact that they mean a lot to you and you put so much effort into them makes them so valuable. Gifts like this are priceless".

"Well technically it is priceless, since it was free" Luke says making Ashton laugh.

"Well I'm sure the letter is even more priceless, can I read it now?" Ashton says.

"Yeah" Luke blushes "but it's embarrassing and probably really cheesy and stupid".

"I'm sure it's not stupid, cheesy maybe but I always do cheesy stuff for you so I don't mind" Ashton says.

"Let's just get this over with" Luke says hiding his face in Ashton's shoulder.

"You know I'm gonna read it out loud for maximum embarrassment" Ashton says.

"Of course you are" Luke groans.

Ashton takes the letter out of the envelope and immediately notices the staple attaching the multiple sheets.

"Awww Luke, you wrote so much. And I've never seen your handwriting before, it's cute" Ashton says making Luke groan and bury is face further into his boyfriend's shoulder.

"No it's not it looks like a girl's" Luke says.

"And what's wrong with that?" Ashton asks.

"Well nothing, but the homophobic kids that bullied me thought otherwise. It was one of the many things they teased me about so I've kind of grown to hate it because of that " Luke says.

"Well they're stupid and were probably just jealous that your writing made theirs look like shit" Ashton says.

"Can you just read it so we can this over with" Luke groans.

"Of course" Ashton says and begins to read the letter.

_Dear Ashton,_

_I know the gift I got for you was really cheesy and shitty and I felt bad for only getting you that. So naturally I decide to decided to increase the cheesiness and shitiness. I know you'll probably hate this as much as you hated the gift, but well, I'm still doing it anyways so here you go. And this is my first time doing anything like this so at least have some mercy on how horrible this is. But basically I just wanted to show you how amazing you are and how thankful I am for you having you in my life. I guess you could call this a 'love letter' if you wanted to but you probably shouldn't because that would just be really embarrassing for both of us._

_I don't even know how to start this, I don't know I think I list the things I like about you. I'm just gonna list the superficial things first because I'm blushing like crazy while writing this and thank god Cara is out with Rita right now because she'd be teasing me like crazy. But yeah I thought starting with your appearance and shit would help ease me into this horror. Not that loving you is horrific or anything, I'm just really bad at conveying my feelings and always have been even if the person means the world to me like you do._

_So first I'll start with your eyes because they're probably my favourite. Like, I don't even know what colour they are, sometimes they're hazel, but sometimes they're the colour of honey, sometimes they're amber and sometimes they're even greenish. I don't know, but they're gorgeous. And I don't know they have special glint in them when you're happy and it seems to get bigger for me and I don't understand why. But looking into them can always calm me down. And I rarely see them upset, but sometimes when you're talking about your dad or something they'll become dull and colourless as if all the life has been sucked out of them. And I hate that, I hate seeing you upset, your dad is a piece of shit for making you feel like that. And I don't know what he's doing know but it in a way it makes me glad he's never contacted you because he doesn't deserve you after what he did._

_Sorry for bringing him up by the way, I know it still upsets you. But anyways,next I'll move onto your hair. It's just so soft and fluffy and I love running my fingers through it. And I like pulling it when we make out, partially because of how it makes you moan. And this just got real awkward, real fast, so forget I ever said that. And I also like how it falls into your face when you're studying and then I'll end up going to move it and I'll end up playing with because I have no self control. And then you'll get distracted and I'll feel bad and wonder why you continue to ask me to come over when you study when all I do is distract you._

_Anyways, I also like your lips for obvious reasons. You're such a better kisser than I am and you don't even seem to mind how much I suck at it. Which is really sweet of you. And I just really love kiss you and I don't just mean on the lips. Like I love it when you'll kiss the top, of my head or my cheek or somewhere because it just makes me feel so loved and cheers me up. You make me feel so loved and can always cheer me up, but that's for a different paragraph. And I love it when you smile, it shows of your adorable dimples and it's one of the first things that made me fall for you. And one of the first things that made me trust you too because I just thought 'how could I not trust someone with a smile as cute as that'. And I know that's a really flawed logic to have because you could've ended up being a murderer but so far you haven't proven that to be to true. I'm kidding by the way, I know you aren't a murderer. You'd never hurt anyone, except if they hurt me anyone else you loved. I'm pretty sure I saw murderous rage in you towards towards that dick when were skating. I'm kidding about that too, although you were pretty pissed and I bet you wouldn't have minded slamming him into the boards. Now onto something less murder-y, I love your laugh. It's more beautiful than any song I've ever heard. And I've heard a lot of great songs thanks to my flawless taste in music._

_And I love your hands, that sounds really sexual but like, they're so soft and they're always warm. And I love it when you play with my hair, it also calms me down and is just so sweet and makes me feel so loved. And I love it when you hold my hand, because my hands are always cold and yours always warm them up. And you always seem to know they right time to grab mine and make me feel better. And I also liked it when I was first learning how to skate and you supported me with them. Even if it was really embarrassing for me to fall in front of you so much you didn't seem to mind and somehow I didn't either with your hands on my waist like that._

_And I love your arms too, like yeah I'll admit your biceps are hot but that's not the only reason I love them. Like they make me feel so safe when you're hugging me and they're wrapped around my waist. And I just really love hugging you or cuddling you in general. Like, obviously I didn't feel safe at my Aunt and Uncles or on the streets and when I hug or cuddle you I know what it feels like to be safe again. I haven't felt that since before I lost my family. And I don't know why or why you'd even love me, but I know you'll always protect me._

_And I love the rest of you too but this is already long enough and I still have way more to tell you. So I guess I'll move onto your personality now._

_You're so sweet and caring, you're always making sure I'm okay and comforting me when I'm upset. And it was really hard for me to tell you my story but you made it easier by cuddling me and reassuring me. And you're not just sweet and caring towards me but everyone else too, like your family or the people at the shelter. You were so cute with Harry and Jacob that day we first hung out and now that I see your family every weekend I get to see even more how sweet you are and how much you care about them. And I know you're trying to make Harry and Lauren's childhoods good since you didn't have a very good one and that's so amazing. And I can see how much you care about your mum and how you'd do anything for her. And I don't get to see you with the other residents at the shelter that much but I know you really care about them too. You care about everyone even if they're a complete asshole to you and treat everyone with respect and I wish I could be like that._

_And you're so thoughtful, like I can tell you put a lot of time into planning our dates. Like I know you spent weeks planning our first date and I'm still not over that. And when you built me that blanket fort that was also really cute. Or when you just invite me over when you're studying. I don't even care if you're focusing on your books eighty percent of the time because I love just being with you. And I feel really shitty that I've never taken you on a date, even if we haven't been dating for a month and have only been on like three dates. I promise that when I have money and have my life together I'll take you on so many dates, because you do so much for me and I need to start doing stuff for you in return._

_And you love me so much, I don't know why, but I know you do. Not just because you always tell me. You show it through of all I the things I listed and everything you do for me. Like the fact you listened to my story and stayed up to listen to it despite the fact you were exhausted from studying. And I just wish there was a way you could meet my family because they would love you so fucking much. And when you comfort me or the fact you plan dates for me. Or when you kiss me or hug me. You show it in everything you do. And I don't know how I got so lucky to have you but I'm glad I did because I fucking love you so much. Even if I'm not as good at showing it as you are._

_You've saved me in more ways than you know Ashton, and I know you don't think so but you have. You literally saved my life by bringing me to the shelter. It was cold as fuck that night, who knows how long I would've lasted out there. And you gave me a reason to live again and I know you claim I decided that on my own. And maybe you're right but the only reason I thought of that was because of you. As I've said before I wanted to die in that alleyway. I wouldn't say I was suicidal because I still tried to eat whenever it was possible and I never did anything to intentionally harm myself. But if I had froze to death or anything else, I honestly wouldn't have minded. And then you came along and you brought me to the shelter where I met a bunch of new friends and I was provided with so many opportunities, all thanks to you._

_And best of all each day I got to fall more and more in love with the most amazing person I've ever met and I'll continue to fall more in love with you everyday._

_Love (with the strongest fucking emphasis you can put on this word), Luke_

\---

As embarrassing as it was to have to listen to Ashton read his letter out loud, and then comment on the really cheesy parts and not even to make fun of them just to say how sweet he thought they were, Luke did make Ashton cry and then thank him a billion times. So Luke figures maybe the gift wasn't so bad after all.

Later that night Luke and Ashton set up Luke's iPad and they're now lying on Ashton's bed and Luke is deciding whether or not to send a Skype request to Calum.

"What if he hates me?" Luke asks worriedly his fingers shakily hovering over the request button.

"Why would he hate you?" Ashton asks.

"Oh gee, I don't know maybe because I haven't spoken to him in over a year? He probably thinks I forgot about him" Luke says "what if he doesn't even answer?"

"Luke I'm sure he will and you'll never know unless you try, now hit the goddamn button before I do!" Ashton says.

"Okay, okay" Luke says "do you think you could like go on Harry's bed for a while, I just want it to be me and him at first."

"I can always go in the living room if you need more privacy" Ashton offers.

"No, no stay" Luke says "just not in the frame".

"Whatever you want, babe" Ashton says pressing a kiss to the top of Luke's head, making him blush before going over to Harry's bed.

 _Well it's now or never,_  Luke thinks to himself before shakily pressing the button.

The screen says connecting for what feels like years although Luke knows it's really only a few seconds.

The screen eventually loads and he barely has time to acknowledge Calum before he begins talking.

"Look, I don't know who the fuck you are or how you know me but don't pretend to be L-" Calum grumbles, stopping mid sentence as he notices Luke.

"L-Luke?" Calum asks in disbelief.

"Hey, Cal" Luke says.

"How? Why? What?" Calum asks.

"It's gonna take a while to explain but I promise I didn't intentionally ignore you" Luke says.

"I wouldn't have thought that, I know you wouldn't do that, but Luke, fuck, ever since you left I had this bad feeling. I don't know. Even before you left I felt it but I just shrugged it off thinking it was just me not wanting you to leave. But fuck, if something happened and I ignored it, I'm a terrible friend" Calum mutters.

"No you're not Cal, you were,  _are_ , the best friend I've ever had" Luke says "it's not like you knew for sure anything happened, you just had a feeling something did. I can't blame you for not believing it and I know you probably didn't want to believe it".

"Of course I didn't want to, why would I want to believe something was happening to my best friend? But that doesn't mean I shouldn't have done something" Calum says.

"Cal, I wouldn't've expected you to do anything" Luke says "and I'm fine now"

"But what if you weren't? What if, what if you-"Calum says trailing off and Luke can see the tears in his eyes "it would've been all my fault".

"No it wouldn't've" Luke says "Cal, you can't blame yourself for this"

"And you can't blame yourself for what happened to your family" Calum says, immediately looking guilty "shit, I'm sorry, I shouldn't've"

"It's fine" Luke says "I mean, I still think it's my fault, especially after what they said, but Jack told me not to blame myself when he was... and Celeste too, so did you and Ally before I left. And Ashton tells me not to, and now you are again. Basically, what I'm trying to say is since so many people have told maybe I'm starting to believe it."

"Well that's good, and really if you look back on it it's my fault" Calum says guiltily "it was my idea to go that party anyways".

"Cal, you can't blame yourself for it just because of that" Luke says.

"Then neither can you" Calum says.

"I'm trying" Luke says "but it's hard not to"

"Then I guess we're in the same boat" Calum says "but that's the one thing we are. Who is they? Your Aunt and Uncle? And who's Ashton?"

"My excuses for an Aunt and Uncle, I don't know how someone like that could be related to my mum. Although I guess I did deserve everything" Luke says.

"I'm sure you didn't deserve it, whatever they did. And you still didn't answer my second question, who's Ashton?" Calum asks.

"My boyfriend" Luke says blushing making Calum's eyebrows raise.

"Oh, well, it's good to know you're not alone, but that doesn't mean I'm any less confused" Calum says.

"I know and I'll explain everything but do you wanna meet him? Ashton, I mean, he's in here. It's fine if you don't want to of course but it would just be easier to tell you if he was next to me" Luke suggests.

"Yeah of course, whatever makes you comfortable" Calum says "and speaking of meeting people Ally's gonna kill me when she finds out I've been talking to you this long and haven't got her yet"

"Well go get her then, I wanna see her" Luke says.

"Like now? Don't you want me to meet your boyfriend? Or are we gonna introduce them at the same time?" Calum asks.

"I don't care either way" Luke says.

"Right, okay, I'll go get Ally then" Calum says before getting up.

Luke knows he must be on his laptop, the one that's covered in a bunch of band stickers unless he got a new one, because he can see his room. Which is messy as always and those socks are in the exact spot they were since before Luke left. Luke remembers when Ally forced him to take them off bc they 'reeked and we're ruining the mood' as he and Ally were cuddling on Calum's bed, Luke right next to them, as it was king sized, third wheeling and watching American Horror Story as usual. Luke remembers Calum sighing and taking off the putrid socks before chucking them on the dresser. Luke doesn't want to imagine how'd they'd smell now.

"Is it true?" Ashton's voice snaps Luke out of his thoughts and he feels arms wrap around his waist as Ashton settles down beside him.

"Is what true?" Luke asks leaning back against his boyfriend.

"You were saying how you were starting to believe what happened wasn't your fault, did you mean it?" Ashton asks running a hand through Luke's hair and Luke has to bite his lip from sighing.

"I wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true" Luke says absentmindedly tracing circles on Ashton's arm.

"Well that's good to hear, I'm glad you're making progress" Ashton says pressing a kiss to Luke's hair.

"It's not much" Luke says.

"But it's still something" Ashton says kissing Luke's temple causing the younger boy to blush.

They stay like that for a couple minutes, Ashton running his fingers through Luke's hair and Luke leaning against his boyfriend and closing his eyes in content, until Calum's door is heard being opened and Luke opens his eyes and sits up.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me earlier! He's my best friend too!" Ally's voice exclaims.

"Well  _sorry,_  but I was kind of in shock you know" Calum's voice says and Luke smiles to himself, glad to hear his friends' banter again.

"Whatever, just get out of my way" Ally says.

The next thing Luke knows Ally comes into the frame.

"Oh my god it really is you, I thought Calum might've been planing some sick joke on me" is the first thing Ally says.

"Do you really think that lowly of me? I wouldn't joke about Luke like that, especially not on Christmas. Who do you think I am?!" Calum says coming into the frame as well.

"Well I never know with you" Ally says "but anyways Merry Christmas Luke. And who's that boy you're with? He's cute."

"Yeah well looks don't mean everything" Calum grumbles putting his arm around Ally.

"Oh I know, that's why I'm with you" Ally says causing Luke to laugh.

"Well I expected something like that from  _her_  but I didn't think you would laugh at me Lukey" Calum says feigning hurt.

"I told you he always liked me better" Ally quips "no but really who is he?"

" A-Ashton, my b-boyfriend" Luke says embarrassedly.

Luke doesn't know why he's so embarrassed, he's only known Ally for a couple years but she's still one of his best friends, and it's not like Luke hasn't had a boyfriend around her.

"Damn, well congrats Luke" Ally says causing Luke to blush "and you know I'm gonna ask you for all the details, like any girl best friend would"

"Yeah, I know and I was gonna explain,  _well everything_ " Luke says the last two words quietly and Ashton notices his boyfriend's upset like he always does because he pulls Luke closer and kisses the top of Luke's head.

"It's okay babe, I'm here" Ashton says running his fingers through Luke's hair.

"Awww" Ally coos "Calum, why do you never do that?"

"I do so!" Calum protests.

"It's true, I've third wheeled you guys enough to know that way you're way more coupley than me and Ashton" Luke says.

"Yeah see" Calum says "at least  _Luke_  will always back me up".

"You never do it when I'm upset though, you're always just like 'oh that's shitty, I don't what to do about it though'" Ally says mocking Calum.

"I don't sound like that and it's not true!" Calum exclaims.

"Yeah it is, I've third wheeled you guys en-" Luke starts but Calum cuts him off.

"Shut up, Luke!" Calum exclaims.

"That's not how you greet your best friend you haven't seen in almost a year, Calum. You should know better than this!" Ally says "anyways, sorry Calum is being a brat, you wanted to tell us something, Luke?"

"Yeah but it might take a while and it's Christmas so it can always wait til later" Luke says.

"No we have time" Ally says "besides you're by far the best Christmas gift we've gotten"

"T-thanks" Luke says blushing "but really it's kind of depressing I don't wanna ruin Christmas or anything."

"Luke you could never ruin Christmas" Calum and Ally say simultaneously.

Luke really does have the best friends in the world.

"Thanks guys" Luke says "you're the best"

"It's no problem" Ally and Calum say at the same time again.

No matter how many times Luke's seen them do that it still always creeps him out a bit.

"Well I guess I should start with when I first got to England" Luke says hesitantly and Ashton kisses Luke's cheek and plays with his hair again and that's all Luke needs to give him the strength to continue.

\---

Luke manages to tell the whole story with the help of Ashton reassuring him and after Calum and Ally basically say the same things Ashton did and that if he ever needs to talk they're there. Although Calum and Ally did say a lot of more things about Luke's Aunt and Uncle that are too rude to mention.

Luke also had to include in great detail how he and Ashton met and all their dates and everything because Ally requested it. And she said since the dates were cute and so was Ashton helping Luke get through telling his story she wouldn't have to give Ashton the third degree. After that Luke asked how Calum and Ally were and Calum said he actually got approached by a bunch of colleges for scholarships due to his soccer and that he picked the best school out of all of them and that he and Ally were gonna get an apartment near there when they finished high school. Calum felt bad and as if he were bragging and Luke insisted that he was happy and not to treat him any differently because of what happened.

After that Luke and Ally had to go have breakfast as it was Boxing Day morning in Australia.

Later that night after dinner Luke decided to Skype Troye and Celeste.

He asked Ashton if he could have some privacy when he skyped them as he felt it would be awkward if the first time he contacted Troye in almost a year he had his boyfriend right beside him. And he didn't know how Celeste was coping with losing Jack so he felt like having Ashton there might be kind of insensitive.

Luke didn't go into great detail with Troye and just explained that his aunt and uncle were assholes and kicked him out after a while, but that Ashton ended up finding him and taking him to a shelter they volunteered at and they ended up dating. He left out how bad his Aunt and Uncle truly were and how long he was on the streets for because he didn't want to make Troye upset or anything.

The whole reason he broke up with Troye was so he wouldn't have to worry about all that shit that happened to Luke. Troye said that he was sorry to hear about what happened and that he knew Luke wasn't an asshole and must've had a good reason not to contact him. He also that he was happy Luke had someone like Ashton and then proceeded to tell Luke about his new boyfriend, Connor, who he met at this arts school he transferred to.

Troye then had to leave because he was going on a date with Connor but he and Luke promised they'd remain friends for real this time and that they'd have to introduce Ashton and Connor sometime.

Luke then called Celeste and explained why he hadn't called in the same way he did to Troye. Celeste also said she knew there must've been a reason for Luke to not call and she was glad he was happy and not alone anymore. Luke then also hesitantly asked about how she was dealing with losing Jack because he'd have to be a complete asshole not to and she had been with Jack for so long she felt like a sister to Luke and he actually genuinely cared about her well being.

Although Luke still felt like an asshole when she broke down crying, admitting how she pretended to be happy for her friends but still cried to herself to sleep everynight. She also told Luke about how she went on a few dates to make her friends happy but that of course none of the guys were like Jack and some even told her she was pathetic for not being over Jack yet and that they wouldn't date her until she was 'more stable'. Celeste said she was proud that she wasn't hurt by those guys though and was able to tell them she wouldn't want to date an asshole like them anyways and she felt like it was a small step to recovery.

She also told Luke not to blame himself for what happened to his family as Luke was like a little brother to her and she didn't want him to blame himself for something he had no control over. Luke admitted that is was hard especially after his Aunt and Uncle blamed him but he insisted that he tried not to.

Celeste then had to leave because she was going out with her friends later and had to start getting ready. Luke told her that he was proud of her and didn't expect her to get over Jack so quickly and that she could always talk to him when he's feeling upset. Celeste thanked him and told him that he was able to talk to her anytime as well and that hearing that Luke had Ashton made her feel a bit better as she worried about him for the past year as well. She also made Luke promise to introduce Ashton sometime to which Luke agreed.

Luke then went and watched some Christmas movies with Ashton's family and ate some cookies and drank hot chocolate that Anne Marie, Harry and Lauren made.

Of course Luke couldn't help but tease Ashton about the fact that his eight year old brother was a better chef than he was which of course made Ashton laugh before telling Luke to shut up.

Now they're cuddled up in Ashton's bed and Luke has just finished telling Ashton about what happened with Troye and Celeste, quietly of course since Harry is asleep in the bed across from them.

"Well I'd love to meet them and I'm proud that you were able to explain everything to them without my help" Ashton says kissing Luke's forehead.

"Well I didn't explain  _everything,_  I left a lot out and almost cried a few times" Luke says.

"I wouldn't have expected you tell them without crying over this Lukey. You don't have to get over this quickly, or at all for that matter" Ashton says.

"Yeah I guess so, thanks Ashy you're the best" Luke says before yawning.

"You wanna go to sleep now?" Ashton asks and Luke nods.

"It's been a long day" Luke says yawning.

"I know, and I'm so proud of you" Ashton says leaning down to kiss Luke quickly.

"I'm really glad I have you Ashy" Luke says resting his head on Ashton's chest when they pull away.

"I know Luke, your gifts really proved that. Although I would've known it without them anyways just through the fact that you wanna spend time with a loser like me" Ashton says.

"You're not a loser Ashy, you're amazing" Luke says leaning up to press a kiss to Ashton's cheek.

"Yeah I guess so" Ashton says "but you'll always be a million times better than me".

"I know you don't think you're amazing because of your asshole of a dad, but dammit Ashton, I'll print a million copies of that letter if that's what it takes for you to realize how awesome you are" Luke says.

"Thanks Luke, but don't bother killing that many trees for me, I'm sure if I read it over again every-night like I was planning to I'll eventually realize I'm not so much of a loser after all" Ashton says.

Luke can't help but blush at the fact Ashton said he was going to read the letter every-night and buries his face into Ashton's chest to hide the blush even though it's dark anyways.

Luke yawns and figures it's probably time to actually sleep so he positions himself on Ashton's chest so it'll be comfortable to sleep.

"Goodnight Irwie, I love you" Luke says sleepily.

"I love you too, Lukey" Ashton whispers pressing a kiss to the top of Luke's head.

And with Ashton's fingers running through his hair Luke is able to fall asleep in no time.

And while a lot of bad things have happened to him, he has Ashton, and he knows that makes him the luckiest person on Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I end everything with Luke falling asleep in Ashton's arms? Maybe but it's one of my favourite things, let me have this joy in life.


End file.
